Let Me Down Easy
by jacejosujura
Summary: Jace lives within the iron clutches of his uncle, Tezzeret. The only thing that makes Jace's life tolerable is his best friend, Kallist. When an accident leaves Jace alone and guilty, he has nowhere to turn. How will the raven haired girl with the bad blood mend Jace's broken soul while she fights a battle against something much stronger than she is?
1. Prologue: Going, Going, Gone

_This is a project for the down time that I have-enjoy it. Tread Carefully._

_-lace _

(Jace Beleren)

"Ha! I beat you again, Kallist!"

"You've got to be a fucking mindreader, bro. There's no other explanation. Either that or you count cards."

"I'm no cheater, you know that."

"Hey, man. Check out the red-headed chick over there."

"I don't want a girlfriend, for the last time, Kallist. Plus, I don't like gingers."

"Bro. She's staring, hard. She's hot. Go talk to her."

"No!"

"You're going to die a virgin, Jace."

"Fuck off."

"I'll give you a twenty if you _go fucking talk to her and stop being such a pussy." _

"I don't have time for girls- school and work is plenty."

"JACE! GO!"

He pulls my chair out from underneath me- saboteur. I stand up and make my way to the other side of the room. She's not bad looking, but she's not at all my type. Her features are pointed and for some reason, I don't trust her at all. I look back at Kallist and he rolls his eyes at me and turns back to his game of poker. I'm convinced he didn't want me over there so he could hustle Jura and Zarek out of their money.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"So, um, I really fucking suck at this. I'm only over here because my buddy is an ass and is trying to hustle our other friends' out of money. I'd appreciate it if you'd just smile."

"How charming. What's in it for me?"

"I knew you weren't looking at me, you've been staring at Gideon all night. If you just fucking smile for the brunette over there, I'll tell them all you shot me down like the strong, independent bitch you are, and that you said you wanted his number, not the geeky, underfed kid who looks like he never goes outside."

"How did you even know that?"

"I'm observant. That's the reason they don't want me at their poker table. I can read people, red."

"I don't like your attitude. You are one cocky bastard. You need to be taken down a few notches."

"I guarantee my boys will do it when I tell them you shot me down."

"Well, it looks like we both win, don't we, stringbean?"

"Seems so. Now fucking smile."

The chick looks directly over at the table and winks-finally, a woman who appreciates my talents, even if they are self-deprecating. Maybe that's why she appreciates them.

I make my way over to the table and sit down.

"Well that could've went better."

"What happened, bro?"

"She told me she wasn't interested and to tell the one with the dark eyes and ponytail that she wants to dance."

Gideon spits Mountain Dew across the table, effectively soaking the cards and chips. Fucker. I glance down at my watch and turn to Kallist.

"Goddamn, dude!"

"Sorry! But I got somewhere I gotta be."

He walks over to the girl-I didn't catch her name. I didn't care to. Mom always said that I'd know when I knew-and she wasn't it. Kallist always said I'd never know, because I never talked to girls. I think he thinks I'm gay.

"If we don't get back soon-I don't want to hear Tezzeret's mouth, and I know you don't. We really have to go."

"We'll see you tomorrow, guys. Be safe."

Kallist and I head out to the car, I take the driver and he takes shotgun seat next to me. He goes to mess with the radio, and I quote Dean Winchester.

"Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole."

"Fuck you, dude!"

I drive the familiar back city streets of Baltimore, back behind Hopkins and eventually end up on the backroads that would lead us to Uncle Tezz's house. He's not an easy man to live with, he's a motherfucker, actually. My mother was a saint, but her brother, not so much. Kallist is somehow related to Tezzeret too, but it's not through mom. He's always been secretive about it. I've asked him if Tezzeret is his father and he vehemently denies it. He doesn't treat us any different, so I guess I believe him. I've only been with Tezzeret for about three years-since Mom was killed in Benghazi. Kallist has been there since he was four.

Kallist and I- we click. There's something about us that always has, I can always seem to anticipate what his next move will be and vice versa. We've always been friends, since we were small. We were always told that we are cousins, but we're more like brothers.

"Dude- the ginger, she killed you tonight."

"She'd been eying Gideon, and I knew it, idiot. I'd been watching her out of the corner of my eye all night. I told her if she humored me I'd give her the hook up."

"Damn, dude. You don't trust people at all, do you? She was fine as hell. That ass…"

"You are such a pig, you know that?"

"Eh. You'll live. You seriously need to find something to do besides read, Jace."

"I do other things besides read- I have a job and go to school."

"Why don't you ever go out and have fun?"

"I do- I just did, didn't I?"

"Come on, Jace. Go on a couple dates, have fun."

"Maybe when I get out of school. I'm not worrying about it right now."

"Whatever, Jace."

I'm about five minutes away from the house when it happens. The only thing I remember is swerving to avoid the guy who had been driving the wrong way. The last thing I remember is Kallist yelling my name, the blackness swallowed us whole.

My head is pounding, I'm so groggy. What had happened? I can't fight against the depressants floating around my body. I thrash as I fight to open my eyes. There's something in my nose and I reach to pull it out when a cold hand stops me.

My eyes bolt open and I'm in a white room with a bright light. There's something in my arm- I need it to be out. Now. I yank whatever it is out as Gideon and Ral fight to keep my arms down.

"Where am I? What's going on?!"

"Jace, calm down. You're fine, bro. Everything is gonna be fine."

"Where am I?!"

"You're in the trauma unit at were in accident, Jace."

"What kind of accident? Where is Kallist?"

"A drunk driver ran you and Kallist off the road. You have a broken wrist and a pretty bad concussion. You've been knocked out for the past few days."

"_WHERE IS KALLIST?!" _

"Jace, everything is going to be okay?"

"Do you not fucking hear me, Jura? WHERE IS MY BROTHER?"

"Jace, when you two were run off the road, you swerved into a telephone pole. The way you guys hit, your wrist got smashed in between the door and the steering wheel and the airbags gave you a concussion. But Kallist, Kallist wasn't as lucky."

"Where is he?!"

"Jace, he didn't have a seatbelt on. His head hit the windshield and he had a traumatic brain injury. They airlifted you both to the hospital, but Kallist, he was brain dead by the time that he got here. Tezzeret was the next of kin. He voted to not put Kal on life support. Ral and I, we tried to stop him so you could at least say your goodbyes, but he didn't hear any of it. Jace.. he's..he's..he's dead. There was nothing the doctors could do for him."

"Where is Tezzeret? Where is that motherfucker?! He killed him! He killed my brother!"

I make to get up, but Gideon and Ral stop me. Combined, they're too strong for me, especially in my drugged up state. Gideon repeatedly hits the call button for the nurse, but I refuse to let them sedate me.

"Get off of me! NOW! Get the FUCK off of me! Let me see him! KALLIST! KALLIST!"

The nurse makes her way to the room, but turns on her heel-no doubt for a sedative- when she sees me in the state I am in. I will not let them do this to me, they killed him... they killed him... I can't believe he's dead.

The nurse pushes the needle into the back of my thigh, and it's not long before the blackness closes in again, cloaking my mind, settling my body, I put all of my power into fighting the drug off, but it drags me under, deep into the vast abyss of my mind. There is nothing, no light, no happiness. The drug puts me under, but I'm smothering.

That day, the darkness overpowered me. That day, I swore I'd never see the light again.


	2. Alone

(Jace Beleren)

It's been a month since the dark, bleak, tease of death. It's been one month since I was suspended into the darkness; thirty days alone, four weeks without Kallist. My wrist is still broken, but I've been working doubles at the diner so that I don't have to spend time in that house with Tezzeret. If I had to be there anymore than I do, I'd be guilty of murder by now.

We'd started school two weeks ago, but I was hospitalized for the first week and had doctor's appointments the second, so I'm playing catch-up in school right now. It's fine, I'll sit at the library, as long as I don't have to go back to the house. The house was empty and quiet without Kallist's laughter to fill the halls, the only noise there was now was the steading clinking of Tezzeret working on some sort of metalwork, he's one of the few blacksmiths left in Baltimore.

I miss my mother, and for the longest time I was angry with her for taking that job as an ambassador in Benghazi when it was so dangerous over there. My father has been absent my whole life, so I've been pretty much alone for the past five years, except for Kallist. But now, Kallist is gone. He's gone and he's never coming back.

I just don't know how to deal with that.

I clock in, smile at Teysa and head back to the kitchen to wait for my first table. It's still breakfast time, so we're probably going to be slammed as soon as we open the door. At nine AM sharp, my prediction fulfills itself. People come flooding in- people that have been at Hopkins all night, people coming in to see the tourist trap that Baltimore is. I'm happy for something to do, anything to do that takes my mind off Kallist and the gaping hole his absence leaves.

I've been at work for about an hour when a family walks in, they take their seats and I walk over to their table, ready to get their drink orders. When I walk over to the table, I see three extremely good-looking people. There was a girl with auburn hair and cream colored skin, probably in her mid-twenties- her face was harsh, but she was beautiful. Her expression exuded confidence, and that is something that's attractive. I look down at her hand, there's an engagement ring and a wedding band. There is a man in his late twenties with dark black hair and dark eyes. He was built like an ox, and nearly six and a half feet tall. He must be married to the redhead. Beside him was someone who obviously had to be his sister. She had long, thick, flowing black hair, a perfectly curvy figure, dark eyes, just like her brother, the only distinct difference between the two is that she is rather short, only about five six or so.

"Hi, I'm Jace, and I'll be taking care of you guys today. What I can get for you to drink?"

"Um, coke." The pretty blackhaired girl said. Her accent was thick, very thick. Where she's gotta be from to have that accent, I have no idea.

"Liliana…" The man who had to be her brother started. "You know you don't need the extra caffeine."

"Fine. Water."

I walk back to fix their drink orders. In the backroom of the diner, there is a case of caffeine free coke sitting in there. I check the date, and bring it out to her, along with the water that she originally ordered. When I get back to the table, she's got her head on her brother's shoulder.

"I know you don't feel well. Please eat." He kisses her on the top of her head. I bring their drinks and sit the water in front of the girl who's named Liliana.

"I brought this. It's caffeine free coke. It pretty much tastes the same. If that's okay with your dad."

"He's my brother. Osu?"

The guy smiles at me. He looks thankful in the fact that I used my brain for once.

"That'll be fine."

"Do you guys know what you want to eat?"

The redhead and the man order, but the younger girl doesn't want anything. Her brother pleads with her to eat, but she's not having it. She says she doesn't feel well at all, and that she's nauseated. The best thing for that would be the soup. It's not a heavy soup at all and it makes me feel better when I'm sick.

"What about this? It's a chicken noodle soup, and it doesn't have any cream or heavy ingredients at all. It's light and easy to digest."

She smiles at me. I've never seen a smile like that, it's bright.

"Merci."

The rest of their meal passes without much drama, and as I bring them the check, I think about the way her eyes seemed to see into my soul, and I don't know how to feel about that.

When they left, there's a twenty on the table with a note that simply says

_Thank you._

I roll out of my bed, heading to school for the first time this semester. My arm and wrist are aching, so I take something to ease it off so I can make it through this day. The car was totaled- I just took money out of the emergency fund that mom left and bought a new one. When the insurance money comes in, it will go directly back into the account, so I'm not worried about it. I wasn't about to ask Tezzeret for any help. He looks at me as I heat up a toaster pastry, but doesn't speak a word. He knows how I feel about what he did.

I walk out the door, seething at the fact that I had to see his face this morning. My arm hurts, my mind is already aching. This day needs to hurry up and be done.

I walk up to the front office, because I wasn't here for the first two weeks of school, I have to check in and get my schedule. Principal Mizzet was standing at the front desk, bent over a schedule with a girl I don't recognize.

The secretary hands over my schedule with a yawn. I should go look for Gideon and Ral, but I don't feel like being around them right now, not without Kallist. Principal Mizzet looks up at me with an expectant look.

"Jace Beleren?"

The black haired girl that was bent over her schedule looks up, and it's the beautiful girl from the diner yesterday. She smiles a slight smile at me when she sees me.

"Miss Vess is new here, Jace. Do you think you could show her around, because some of your classes are the same and you have both been absent."

"Um..Of course."

"Do you speak any French, dear boy?"

"No. I don't."

"I speak English. Just not well."

"Of course I'll help."

Niv Mizzet hands Liliana her schedule and I have mine, I ask to see hers, and it seems that we have every single class together.

"I'm not very good at talking. I'm sorry."

She smiles, not saying anything.

We walk into a first period English class, taught by Heliod, the notoriously hard. He brings the word grammar Nazi to a whole new level.

I pick a seat in the back of the room, and Liliana follows me.

"Do you mind if I…"

"Of course not."

She does so, and for some reason she's blushing. I should have invited her to sit next to me instead of making her ask.

Apparently there has been a project assigned in my absence, which is just perfect. It's a partnered project, so the two absentees have been paired by default. We also got the hardest topic, John _fucking _Donne and his fucking holy sonnets. We have a week to do this, he didn't give either of us an extention. She's obviously just moved from who knows where and he knows about the accident, everyone in the school knows. Jackass.

I obviously have a moody look on my face because Heliod says that I need to get over it. Liliana just looks overwhelmed. She said that her English wasn't good, and he assigns us John Donne? The hardest poet in British Literature!

Better yet, I can't write, because my writing hand is broken. I switch over to the right hand, but Liliana brings out a laptop.

"I can..what's the word…"

"Type?"

"Yes. I'll type and send it to you."

"You don't have to do that."

"I can. It is not a big deal."

The rest of the classes passes, Heliod droning on about the big wigs in Britain and how the punctuation in poetry is important, blah. Blah, blah, blah.

When the class is over, Gideon and Ral approach Liliana and I in the hall.

"Hey, bro. Who's your friend? How you holding up?"

" This is Liliana, she just moved from…"

"Quebec." She supplements.

"Are you okay, Jace?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Gideon."

"We're going to go shoot some hoops after school today if you want to come, Jace."

"I probably won't, Gideon. I'm already two weeks behind."

"Look, dude, he wouldn't want you doing this to yourself!"

"I said I didn't want to fucking talk about it, Jura!" Liliana jumps back at my sudden raised voice. Gideon just nods and leaves me to it, but there's no doubt he's going to come over tonight or at least text to make sure I'm okay. I can't be around Gideon and Ral right now, it hurts too much.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I don't usually yell."

"It is okay. I won't ask any prying questions if you don't."

"Deal."

"When do you want to work on the project, Liliana?"

"I cannot today. Maybe tomorrow at the library?"

"Do you just want to come with me after school?"

"I will ask my brother."

"He seems to be really protective over you. Tell him I said thank you, by the way. For the tip. He didn't have to do that. "

"He's the only family I have. He and Kaalia."

_I know how that goes, I think. _But I can't bring myself to say that aloud. That would take me admitting that he's really, really gone. I can't admit that to her, I can't even admit it to myself.

I still expect Kallist to come around the corner every night when I'm working on homework. I expect him to walk into the diner, flanked by Gideon and Ral, smiling, laughing.

The rest of the day passes slowly, almost like it's not passing at all. We sit down for lunch, and rather than sitting with Gideon and Ral, I choose to sit with Liliana.

"You do not have to sit with me, Jace. Go sit with your friends."

"I can't be around them right now. Plus, I'm not about to leave you alone. I may be a lot of things but I try to be a gentleman."

She doesn't eat a lot. She picks at apple slices and sips at lemonade. We talk and laugh until the end of lunch, when we go to our French class, the last class of the day. On the way out of this, I look at Liliana, and she looks like she doesn't feel well at all.

"You look pale."

"I always look pale. I'm Canadian."

"Well met, Liliana."

"Why do you look pale, Jace?"

"Because I'm a vampire who hates the sun."

"Fair enough. Jace?"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you avoiding your friends?"

"Because… no prying questions, remember."

"Right. Thank you for helping me through this first day."

"You're welcome. I'm going to help you tomorrow, plus.."

"Plus what?"

"Nothing."

"Okay."

We fall into a silence, but it's not awkward, it's just silent. Her phone buzzes. She looks at it and rolls her eyes.

"Can you show me how to get out? My brother is here."

"Of course."

As I'm walking her to the front of the school, an idea comes to me.

"Look, Liliana. Here's my number. Text me when you get here in the morning and I'll meet you. Or if you get bored tonight."

"Okay. Anyways, the exit is right here."

I walk her halfway across the courtyard until she is close enough to her brother. She turns around and waves at me, a half smile on her face. I wave at her, too. Her brother gives me an appraising look and a nod. I watch her get into his car and pull off, still smiling.


	3. Transparency

(Liliana Vess)

For what seems like the billionth time since yesterday, the contents of my stomach decide to make an appearance. Josu tries everything, literally everything, to keep some form of liquid on my stomach, and so far, it's all been futile.

"You do not need to be in school today, Liliana."

"I'm already behind, Osu. I can't get any more behind. This teacher, he assigned Jace and I a project with no extension, and it has to get done."

"Why did he not give you an extension?"

"Because he basically said that our absences were our problem."

"Why was he absent?"

"I don't know, I didn't ask. We've agreed to no prying questions. He said thank you, by the way."

"He went above and beyond what he had to do for his job-plus waiting tables is what's the American word?"

I shrug my shoulders and pull on Josu's old hockey jersey, it's comfortable, and it hides the amount of weight I've lost.

"You shouldn't push yourself above what you can do, mon petit lis."

"I'm fine. Where is Kaalia?"

"She has an interview at Hopkins today."

"That's good, I know she misses her sick people."

Josu nods his head and we head out to the truck, and I lament the fact that my car has to stay parked because of the amount of medicine that I am on.

"I'm going to be at the library today after school, working on my English project."

"Liliana, you don't need to be lifting things, or climbing stairs. If it's just a first floor library, that's fine. If it's not, don't climb things. You can't right now."

"I'm not dead, Josu."

"I know you're not. You just don't need to overexert yourself, you don't want to end up in the ER. And for the love of god, please drink today. You'll pass out if you don't."

"I have Gatorade and popsicles, Osu. I'll be okay."

"Call me if you need anything, my boss knows what's going on." Josu pulls up to the school and Jace is waiting at the entrance.

"What is the deal with you and that boy, Liliana?"

"He's just helping me get acclimated, Osu. He's just… just a friend, I guess."

"Je t'aime. I'm glad you've made a friend, Lili."

He kisses my forehead and I exit the car. There's the slightest smile on Jace's face, and I bite my lip, hesitantly returning the smile.

I'm already out of breath from the walk to the entrance. Today is going to be a long day.

We walk to Heliod's class, and I'm clutching at a stitch in my side.

"You ok, Liliana?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

He looks at me with an appraising look, a look that almost says he knows something is up. He just looks and doesn't ask, though. Thankfully.

"Okay. Are we still working on the project today?"

"Yes, though I don't know how much use I'm going to be."

"You'll be fine. We'll figure it out. You look really flushed, is everything okay?"

"I'm okay."

I pull out the blue Gatorade from my bag and think about my promise to Osu. Here goes nothing, I guess. I turn the lid to the bottle but it doesn't want to budge. I physically stop in the middle of the hall way and turn it, but no dice. Jace turns around and walks up to me, taking it out of my hand. He cracks the bottle open with his hand that is still in the cast.

"Here you go, little lady."

"Thanks."

Jace takes my bookbag off of my shoulders. I don't know how this makes me feel, it's almost like he knows something is up with me, and I don't know how he knows. We make our way to the back of Heliod's classroom, sparing him not even a glance. I don't know what Jace and I are supposed to have done, he just really seems like he doesn't like either one of us.

"You two were very nearly late."

"I'm sorry, professor. My brother doesn't know his way around this town quite yet."

"That's not my problem, Miss Vess."

"I know that, but.."

Jace puts his hand on my arm and I just follow suit behind him. I don't want to be in trouble, so I just pull up my chair.

"Jace!"

"What, Gideon?"

"You should come get some dinner with Ral and I tonight. Your friend can come too."

"She has a name, Gideon, and we're working on our project today."

"Why are you constantly blowing us off, Jace?"

"I'm not blowing anyone off, I just don't feel like being around people today."

"Jace, bring uhh… your friend and she can get to know Chandra."

"Are you guys together, then?"

"Not exactly, almost."

"Not today, Gideon."

"Alright, Jace. Don't forget about us, that's not doing his memory any justice."

"HOW MANY TIMES, JURA?!"

"Calm the fuck down, Jace. Seriously."

Gideon walks back to his seat and heaves a heavy breath. I look at Jace and bite my lip.

"You really shouldn't ditch them, you know. I wish I could still see my friends every day."

"Liliana.. it's complicated.."

"It seems so. I was just saying, Jace."

"I really don't want to talk about it, okay."

"Okay, Jace, you don't have to."

"That, Liliana, is the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me."

I smile a soft smile and turn my attention back to my computer screen, when I feel Jace's gaze on me. He often gives me these looks like he's trying to decipher me. His gaze is not one that makes me uncomfortable, in fact, I am glad he's puzzling over me. At least he'll be interested.

The day passes without much headache. While we are headed to the library, Jace is tittering on about work and about books he's read, just general small talk.

Whilst he's walking in front of me, I really look at him for the first time since I've saw him in the diner. He's an attractive guy, but he's so brooding, so angry, it seems. He feels my gaze and turns around.

"Do I have a kick me sign on my back or something?"

"No. I just think you're attractive."

"Um…what..thanks."

I smile at him and he grows red. Was I not supposed to say that?

"I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to say that?"

"I've never had anyone, especially a woman, be that straight with me."

We make it to the library and I look up at two flights of stairs, and I think about the promise I made to Osu. It's just stairs, I think. It's not gonna be a problem, right?

Wrong.

I make it up the flights of stairs, but as I clutch at a stitch in my side, the bile rises up into my mouth. I run to the trashcan as the stomach acid and Gatorade make their way out of my body. Jace calmly walks over to me and pulls my hair out of the way.

"Go away…"

I retch for another moment and he goes into my backpack. He cracks open the water bottle and pulls out my chair.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing big."

He looks like he doesn't believe me, but he must remember earlier, because he doesn't press me.

"Okay, Liliana. Have you heard of John Donne?"

"Yes, but I've never really read English poetry."

"We got holy sonnet number ten. How about I read it to you, and then you can tell me what you think it means analytically."

"That's fine."

He clears his throat and begins to read.

_Death be not proud, though some have called thee  
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe,  
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,  
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill mee.  
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,  
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,  
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,  
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.  
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,  
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,  
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,  
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then?  
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,  
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die_

I ponder for a long moment, and then before turning to Jace, I draw a shaky breath. His voice is breathtaking.

"Have you ever been faced with death, Jace? Have you looked death in the face and accepted that you will one day, inevitably die?"

"I've been closer to death than most people, Liliana."

"It's a hard pill to swallow, isn't it, Jace?"

"Right now, it seems like a better option than…. It almost seems like it would be a relief, a reprieve. Especially since…" He trails off.

"Since what?"

"Nothing. What do you think the poem means?"

"Donne, the author, seems to be struggling with his own mortality. It seems like he is presented with death and he doesn't know what to make of it, doesn't know what comes after."

"No one really ever does, I don't think, Liliana."

"But Donne, he was a Christian, wasn't he?"

"Yes."

"So he shouldn't be scared to die, should he, if he believes what he says he does?"

"People are rarely who they say they are, Liliana."

"Who are you, Jace?"

"I'm nobody."

"You're not. You're something to somebody, regardless."

"I'm not."

"Jace, you've made me feel more human in the past three days than anyone has since.."

"Since.." he prods.

"For months. A long time. We may not be anything now, but I'd like to become your friend, if you'd let me."

"Why have you been so transparent with me?"

"Because being shrouded isn't going to save anyone. You can like me for who I am, or not at all. When you sit back and think about life, nothing is truly garnered from lies."

"Fair enough. You're strange, Liliana."

"Well, you're American, so I guess we're even."

He huffs and nods.

I pick up the book of poems and begin to read, noticing that most of his sonnets have to do with life and death, the metaphysical.

When confronted with one's own mortality, how one react, I think to myself. You could run. You could try to hide. But if death wants to come, it will come. I write down these thoughts and some facts about John Donne in my notebook, and Jace is scrawling with his right hand, it's barely legible.

"Give me those. I'll type them tonight or tomorrow and we can put both of our analyses together and you can polish my horrible English."

"Your English isn't horrible."

"Remember what we said about transparency?"

"Yes. I'm not lying to you. Your English is not bad, Liliana."

"Are we going to work on this tomorrow? Because I cannot on Friday."

"Sure, I can't on Friday, either. I have to go see the orthopedic. And then I have to go to work directly after."

I smile at Jace and he pulls my Gatorade out of my backpack.

"Drink this, you look flushed again. Am I taking you home?"

At this moment, my phone buzzes. It's Josu.

_Hey. I have to work late, and Kaalia is going to be just as late. I'm sorry, I know you don't feel well. We'll be up there as soon as we can. _

_Jace can take me if it's okay with you? I want my bed, he said it's no trouble. _

_Oui, just be safe, no guys in the house, okay._

_Duh, Osu._

"Jace?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you mind taking me back to the house?"

"I wouldn't have offered if I minded."

"Josu is working late, Kaalia, his wife, is going to be late too. If it's not too big of a hassle, I kinda want my bed."

"You don't look so hot. I mean you're hot. Like really hot, your hips are.. nevermind. I shouldn't have looked. Anyway, you look like you don't feel good."

I snort. He talked himself into a corner. His face is red and he looks embarrassed.

"It's okay, Jace. I've looked at you too."

"You have?"

"I told you I thought you were attractive."

"The car is this way; where do you live?"

"Like a block away from Hopkins."

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really, no."

"You need to eat something."

"I'll be fine."

"You're pale as a ghost, Liliana."

He turns into the diner without so much as a peep from me. Why is it that I don't want to leave him? Is it the fac that he treats me like a person instead of something for research or a porcelain doll that he's scared will break?

I haven't had any caffeine all day so I order a coke, and it chills my body as it goes down. The stuff is my lifeblood. Ever since we moved, Josu has been severely limiting my intake of caffeine. I would like severely limit is access to coffee in response.

Jace pulls out my chair and I smile.

"You really are a gentleman, aren't you, Jace."

"It's how I was raised." He shrugs his shoulders and sits.

"Where are you from, Jace? Have you lived here your whole life?"

"No, I was raised in Fairview, a small town in North Carolina, about twenty minutes outside of Asheville."

"I've never heard of both of those."

"They're just small towns. What about you?"

"Josu and I are from Montreal."

"Big city girl, huh?"

"Something like that."

He smiles at me and I bite my lip. The rest of the meal passes amicably, just chatting.

As we ride back toward the house, Jace puts on some music I've never heard. He said it's country music, which I thought was funny.

We pull into the drive and he turns to look at me. I bite my lip, smiling.

"Thank you, Jace."

"You're welcome."

He goes quiet, acting like he wants to say something.

"Spit it out, before you choke on it, Jace."

"It's just; I'd like to be your friend, too."

_I didn't write Death Be Not Proud, nor do I own MtG or the characters. I hope you guys enjoyed, and please leave a review. _


	4. Questionable

(Liliana Vess)

Why must Skype always be so slow? It seems like it always takes forever to connect. I listen to the steady hum of the TV in the living room, where Josu is searching futilely for some sort of hockey to watch. I told him he'd have to watch football, but he hasn't accepted that yet, saying that it's a sport for pansies.

I'm going to Skype with my best friend, Avacyn, her boyfriend Gris, and our mutual friend Domri. I haven't seen them since I moved, because I've been so busy trying to get acclimated that we haven't had a time to sit and Skype yet. Should I tell them that I've made a friend? I will if they ask. I won't bring it up if they don't.

The call finally connects and my friends are sitting on the other side of the screen, smiling. They start speaking all at the same time, and I can't help but smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not great, but I'd rather not talk about it. How are things back home?"

"Deathly boring without you up here causing trouble, Lili Claire."

"Better to starve to death than be bored to death, I always say."

"How is your school?"

"I have a teacher who's a complete imbecile, but other than that it's fine."

"Replaced us yet?" Gris says, with a maniacal laugh.

"You're irreplaceable, when are you coming down?"

"Ugh, hopefully soon." Avy's singsong voice rings out.

"Have you made any friends?"

"Um.. one."

"How have _you _only made one friend, Liliana? People are lining up to be your friend, usually."

"I haven't really tried. These people have known each other forever, and I don't want to intrude."

"They would be lucky to be your friend, Liliana." Domri says, kind of defensively.

"So tell us about her, then, will we like her?"

"_He_ is quite nice."

"Oh, so it's a boy."

"Yes, but we're only friends, nothing more. I can't let anyone else get attached to me, it'll be too hard when I.."

"SHUT UP!" They all roar at one time.

"Have you seen Maman or Papa around town at all?"

"Yes.." Avy says, desperate to change the subject.

"Did they say anything about Josu or me?"

"They pretended not to see us, Liliana."

I nod, not exactly surprised. Josu and I, we're used to it. We were used to being seen but not heard. We were always shunted to the side and shut up with some sort of contraption, my parents let our families' money parent us.

Josu has taken care of me. When he and Kaalia got married, she wanted me to come with them so I wouldn't have to be alone in that house all the time, and for that, I am thankful. When we were told we have to move, Josu asked them to come with us. As usual, they pushed us further away from them than we had been previously.

I don't know why they wanted children, when their children don't even know who they are.

"Anyways, it's so hot here. It is September and it's still 80 to 90 degrees outside. I can't go anywhere without feeling sweaty and sticky."

Gris, Domri, and Avacyn all shudder, the thought of extreme heat is nearly enough to make anyone from Canada squirm.

We talk aimlessly about nothing for about an hour before Sorin calls them for dinner. He pokes his head into the screen and waves kisses at me; I return them.

"Tell Josu we said hello. Are we going to Skype tomorrow?"

"No, I have a project to work on tomorrow."

"Ahhhh, I see how it is now, putting school work ahead of us."

"Ferme la bouche, Domri."

He sticks his tongue out at me, and they have to go wash up. Finding a time that works for both of us is not exactly easy. I smile at them, wave kisses, and shut the computer screen. I hear my phone buzz, and I look at it. It's Jace.

_Hi. _

_Hey._

_Don't feel like you have to type those up, by the way. _

_It's no big deal. I don't know how much help I'm going to be on the analyzing. _

_What you said tonight, it really made me think, so yeah, your analysis is spot on. _

_Thanks (: I think._

_You wanna go grab a milkshake prior to the library tomorrow?_

_Nonsolid food sounds awesome, so yeah. _

_Are milkshakes food? _

_For me they are. _

_Fair enough. _

Kaalia calls me from the kitchen, so I pick up my phone and walk in there. It's nice to have another girl around. I know I can go to Josu about anything, but it's still good to have her around. I'm trying to work out what exactly I want to say to Jace when she asks me.

"Josu said you've made a friend."

"Sure, I guess you can call it that."

"Well, we were talking, and before you go spending a whole lot of time with him, we'd like to meet him."

"You two have already met him," I say, smiling.

Kaalia rolls her eyes, and puts one hand on her hip. She does this quite frequently at both of us.

"Fine, I'll ask him over for dinner."

_My sister in law and brother want to meet you if I'm going to be spending any extended amount of time with you. _

_Will you be? _

_I guess that's up to you. _

_We talked about this earlier. _

_So, are you coming for dinner tomorrow, then? _

_Is this an invitation? _

_Yes. _

_We'll I'd be delighted._

_*eyeroll* they're pretty lame, if you ask me. Adults and shit. _

_I think I understand about feeling human. _

_What do you mean? _

_I don't know, it's hard to place. I don't really want to talk about it. _

_Okay, Jace. What do you want to talk about? _

_We said we were going to be friends, right?_

_Right. _

_So tell me something about you. _

_Like what?_

_Anything. What's your favorite food?_

_Umm, probably poutine, but you most likely don't know what that is._

_Negative. _

_It's basically cheese fries with bacon and it has gravy on it. It's a Canadian thing. What about you? What's your favorite color?_

_Blue. Just generic blue. Not sky blue, or turquoise, just blue. _

The conversation goes on and on until I fall asleep. It seems like mere seconds when Josu is shaking me awake for school. Nausea this morning can hopefully be controlled with a couple pills, the fatigue is a different story. Josu brings me to school, and Jace is standing at the entrance again. Josu waves and Jace returns it, smiling.

"Eat your breakfast bar."

"Ugh." I roll my eyes at my brother, getting out of the car.

Jace takes my bookbag off of my shoulders again, I go to take it back, but he won't let me.

"I can carry it, Jace."

"I know."

"Then why are you.."

"Because I want to."

"Okay, whatever. You don't have to."

The school day passes without any drama, other than Gideon coming up to Jace again. Yet again, he refused to go out with them, to do anything with them. He has such a menacing look on his face that I just let the subject drop.

When we get out of school that day, we head to the diner. I order a half chocolate and half strawberry milkshake; Jace just gets vanilla.

"That's no fun."

"I'm not a fun person."

"Shut up, Jace."

"Is your brother this protective over you all the time?"

"Yes. Josu is not my brother, Josu's the closest thing I have to a father."

"You're lucky, then. At least he cares."

"I am very lucky to have him. Kaalia too."

He gives me that look that like he's trying to figure me out as I stop drinking the milkshake and grab a spoon.

"You have chocolate on your face, Liliana."

He reaches over and wipes off the corner of my mouth with a smile. When he touches my face, there is a static that shoots through my body, from my head to my toes. Jace felt it too, the atmosphere in the air changed. Neither one of us say anything about it, though.

The ride there was pretty much silent.

I'm typing our analyses when Jace comes over and looks over my shoulder. The paper should be done within the next thirty minutes, but we also have to do a poster of the poem and our analysis.

"I don't really feel like cutting and gluing today, Liliana."

"That makes two of us. Do you remember how to get to the house?"

"Yeah. I'm nervous as shit, can you tell?"

"Not really. There's nothing to be nervous about."

"I shouldn't be nervous, I feel like."

"You really shouldn't."

We chat on the way to the house, just chattering.

"Stay put. I'll get your door and your bookbag."

"Jace! I'm not helpless."

"I know you're not helpless, but you're a lady."

I roll my eyes. He pulls a frustrated face and it makes me laugh.

"You're impossible."

"Who? Me?" I poke Jace in the side, playfully.

"Yes, you! Don't act all innocent with me." He pokes me in the side. Ow. That's probably going to bruise, but I play it off.

Unfortunately, Kaalia saw the whole exchange . She's going to grill me about it later, I know it. Now, she just smiles and opens the door for Jace.

"Dinner is almost done, guys."

"I'll go grab plates and forks. Jace?"

He takes this as a hint and follows me into the kitchen. I grab the glasses and fill them with ice.

"Where are the plates?"

"I'll get it, you're the guest, Jace."

"Where are the plates?"

Kaalia comes in and gestures for Jace to sit, and he doesn't give _her _any lip. I think it's because she's an adult, little goody-two-shoes. Asshole.

She puts down Shepherd's Pie as we all get situated around the table.

"How did you two meet?" Josu asks calmly.

I start, but Jace is louder than me, so I let him talk.

"Well other than the day at the diner, I was in the office getting my schedule at the same time she was. I missed the first two weeks of school too. We actually ended up in all the same classes, too."

"She mentioned that you have a project that you are working on. Why didn't the teacher give you an extension?"

"He's notoriously hard, and he's a bit of um, I don't know how to say this without actually saying it."

"I pick up what you're saying, Jace."

He makes a half smile and Josu nods.

"Where are you from, Jace?"

"North Carolina, originally. I grew up on a farm just a few minutes from Asheville. My mom was an ambassador to Benghazi. After the attack, I moved here."

I've told Josu about our agreement with no prying questions, so he doesn't say anything. Thank God.

"Most of the people Liliana hung out with before have been in our lives since they were born, we just wanted to know who she's hanging out with."

"I hope I passed your test."

"With flying colors, Mr. Beleren."

Jesus, Josu. Do you always have to be so overbearing? It's not enough that you're nearly six and half feet tall and you've been growing out a fucking ponytail since you were like ten. God. This is a struggle. I wish he'd go ahead and get the Inquisition out of his blood stream. They only guys I've ever been have been around since preschool, and this new guy is setting off Osu's guard dog effect. However, Josu seems like Jace.

I'm not trying to date anyone right now, but apparently that doesn't seem to matter.

It's not fifteen minutes until I'm in the bathroom, painting the interior of the toilet with dinner. None of it stayed down, I'm sure. I'm going to have to get fluids tomorrow, damn it all to hell. I'll be sitting at the goddamned doctor's office for twelve hours, no doubt. It's not long before there's a knock on the door.

"Go away, Osu."

"I'm not your brother."

"Go away, Jace. Why on earth did he let you come up here, I'm going to kill him."

"I brought you a popsicle."

"Is it purple?"

"Yeah."

I walk out into the hallway and take the popsicle from him. I walk back into the kitchen where Josu and Kaalia are standing, smiling. They look like they're sharing some conspiratorial thought, I want to punch both of them.

Jace and I go sit on the front porch, and I split my popsicle with him.

"No, you eat it, I'm still full."

I just glare at him until he takes the other half. The gentle rocking of the swing is soothing rather than nauseating, which is surprising.

"Can I ask you a question?"

The question seems weighted. Like we are going to break our promise, already. For some reason, I can't bring myself to hide things from him. The tempo of the conversation has changed. The nature of that question is different from the ones from earlier, different from the ones last from last night.

"Sure. If I can get one answer from you as well."

"My question is, Liliana, where are your parents? What happened to them?"

"My parents are in Montreal, in the house where Josu and I grew up."

"What?!" Jace is aghast.

"Yep. When Josu moved out, so did I. When Josu and Kaalia got married, he still had me. He wouldn't let me stay there alone. That's why Josu and are so close, why he's so protective. He feels like it's his job. Taking care of me will always be Josu's burden."

"Don't say that, he loves you. Anyone with two eyes and half a brain knows that. He doesn't see you as a burden."

"He doesn't have to. I don't want to talk about it, Jace."

"Okay. What's your question?"

"You referred to your mother in the past tense. She _was_ an ambassador to Benghazi. What happened to her? And your father?"

"My father died before I was born. My mother was killed in the attacks on Benghazi. And that's when I moved to Baltimore to live with my uncle."

"Is he a nice man?"

Jace's eyes turn as dark as the night, with an edge of steel in them. He clears his throat, his voice shaky.

"No. If I could murder one person and get away with it, it'd be him, the decrepit old tinkerer."

"Okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

He looks at his watch and makes to go back inside to get his shoes and car keys. Josu and Kaalia are sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Thank you guys for having me, dinner was great."

"You're welcome back anytime, Jace." Josu says, Kaalia smiles and Jace waves at them both. I walk Jace to his car and stand in the doorway for a moment.

"I'm leaving school early tomorrow. I have a couple of doctor's appointments to try to figure out what's going on."

"I feel like I'm not supposed to miss you, but I'm going to."

I smile, because I'm feeling the same way. There's something about Jace that I just can't place. Something different.

"Jace?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad you were in the office. And I'm glad you're my friend."

He brushes the stray strand of hair off of my face.

"Me too."


	5. Treatment

(Liliana Vess)

Beep, beep, beep. Drip, Drip, Drip. I'm going to die of boredom. I left school early today, and for some reason, I can't stop thinking about Jace. He waited for me at the door of the school like he usually does, but he had something in his hand. My mind goes back to this morning.

"_Lemon or Cherry?" _

"_Lemon or Cherry what, Jace?" _

"_You have Italian ice delivered by an Italian man." _

_I smile, genuinely touched by his selfless gesture. I smile and bite my lip, deciding. _

"_Cherry." _

"_Good choice." _

_He hands me a spoon as we walk into Heliod's classroom. _

"_You can't have that in here, Miss Vess." _

"_Actually, I can." _

_I lay down the note on his desk, saying that I'm prone to dehydration and can have whatever I want to keep me hydrated. _

_Jace snorts and heads back to his seat, smiling. It's the first time in a long time that the smile touches his eyes. _

"_You can drink water like the rest of us, Miss Vess." _

"_Water doesn't help. Plus I have to keep my sugar up or I'll pass out." _

"_Throw it away, Miss Vess."_

"_Heliod, according to her not she can have what she wants, per the Americans with Disabilities Act." _

"_Mister Beleren, would you like to go to the front office?" Heliod said, taking his glasses off. _

"_Would you like to be arrested for manslaughter, Heliod?"_

"_How is that relevant, Mister Beleren?" _

"_If she dehydrates or goes hyperglycemic she could die." _

_Heliod takes out the Student Handbook. "Show me. I can't wait to see the look on your face when you are disproven, you smart aleck child."_

"_Right here." He points to the section on the disabilities._

"_Sit down, the pair of you." _

_Jace lets me walk in front of him. I notice out of the corner of my eye that his friend Gideon is giving him an incredulous look. He doesn't pay them any mind though. Looking Heliod directly in the eyes, I pull the paper cap off of the Italian ice and moodily take a bite. _

_Dear sweet merciful God. It's like a popsicle, only creamy. Why have I never had this before? _

_Jace sees my face change and he smiles. _

_When class lets out, Heliod holds me back. _

"_Leave, Mister Beleren." _

_Jace walks out of the room, making sure to slam the door on his way out. _

"_The ADA doesn't apply to you, Miss Vess. You are not an American citizen." _

"_Actually, it does. I was born in New York because my parents were working there at the time. I have dual citizenship." _

"_Prove it." _

_I pull out both my passport and my ID, smiling sweetly at Heliod. _

_His face gets red. _

"_Leave, Miss Vess." _

_I walk out of the door, where Jace is standing, waiting._

"_What did the asshole want?" _

"_To tell me ADA didn't apply to me because I wasn't a citizen." _

_Jace lets out a low whistle, waiting for the next part of the story. _

"_I have dual citizenship, so does Josu." _

"_Haha! The douche got what he deserved." _

My mind switches back to the present when I hear the nurse's voice.

"Do you need more pain medicine dear? How's the nausea?"

"Not unbearable. I think I can go home okay."

"Is your brother coming to get you, Liliana?"

"Yes, after he gets off of work. I rode here with Kaalia, but she's working now."

"Tomorrow will be worse, Liliana."

"I know. This pain medicine will probably knock me out. It usually does."

"We're going to send you home with a pain patch too, Liliana. It should help you rest."

"Thank you."

"The medicine and fluids are almost done, Liliana. About twenty more minutes."

I smile at her as she exits the room.

XxXxXxXxXxX

Josu and I head to the diner when I get out of the hospital room. Josu can cook, but he looks like he's had a long day and I just don't have the energy to do it. I know I need to eat something before the nausea gets worse, but I just don't want to, at all.

Jace is there just like he said he would be. He sees Josu and I walk in and he smiles, a genuine smile. The way his eyes crinkle when he does is one of my favorite things about him. I fidget with one end of my hair as he walks over to the table.

"Hi, pretty girl."

Josu gives Jace one of the best looks I have ever seen.

"Hi to you as well, Mister Vess."

"Josu, Jace. I'm not that old."

Jace winks at him and Josu nods. He orders a soda and I order water, just to appease him. I find myself struggling over the menu. If I have to eat anymore soup I might murder a small child.

"Do you see anything you want, Liliana?" Jace says as he walks back over toward the table.

"Something salty."

"Um what about just French fries and I'll make your shake."

"That's fine. Thank you."

Josu orders some monster omelet that smells really, really bad. I don't say anything though, I hate it when he and Kaalia feel like they can't do things because of me. I sit, content, dipping French fries into the shake.

Damn the fact that I'm in America and don't have access to poutine. Josu is quiet through most of the meal so I observe Jace in his natural habitat, moving with purpose and deliberation. He's quite the attractive creature when he doesn't have that brooding look on his face.

"You're staring." Josu's voice startles me back to earth.

"What? No I'm not."

"Yes, you were."

When the clock hits nine, Jace clocks out and comes to sit by me. He smiles as he comes over to the table and sits down.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit, if you must know."

"Watch your mouth, Liliana Claire."

"Okay, Osu."

"I'm sorry you feel bad, is there anything I can do?"

"Not really."

Josu hands Jace the check, and as he takes it to go cash out, Josu says he doesn't need change. I look up at the clock. I am so sleepy.

"Are we meeting at the library Sunday? We need to do the poster." Jace says as he sits back down and tries to hand Josu the change. He gives Jace the scariest look I've seen to date, and Jace quietly puts it in his pocket.

"We can."

"After you two finish your project, you should come over for game night."

I smile and Jace looks at me with a question in his eyes.

"As long as it's okay with the lady."

"Shut up, Jace. Of course you can come."

"Liliana, be polite. I've taught you better than that."

"That you have, Osu."

Without thinking, I put my head on Jace's shoulder. It startles him at first but then he puts a comforting hand on the side of my head. I'm literally falling asleep at this point.

"Let me get her home, Jace. She's got so much pain medicine in her system right now. She's going to have a rough day tomorrow, more than likely."

Josu takes my hand and leads me out of the diner, I smile at Jace. I tell him to text me and he looks puzzled. I fall asleep in the car, and don't remember getting to my bed.

In the morning, I'm woken to the smell of breakfast being cooked, and when I head downstairs still rubbing my eyes, Kaalia is cooking pancakes.

"Are you hungry, sweetie?"

"A little, yes.."

"Why don't you sit and eat then. Your brother will be back in a minute, he just went back to the store to grab a few things."

At this moment Josu walks through the door, holding a few grocery bags and smiling.

"Speak of the devil and so shall he appear."

"Sleeping beauty has awoken! I had to carry you to your room last night. I think you scared Jace, because you started mumbling at him and you fell asleep on his shoulder last night."

"WHAT?! What did I say?!"

"Nothing coherent."

"Wonderful, now he's going to think I'm some crazy drugged up person."

"He's not stupid, Liliana. He can see that something is going on. It says a lot to the boy's character that he doesn't seem to mind. Many his age would run the opposite direction."

"Thanks for reminding me, Osu. I know I'm a hazard right now."

"Liliana Claire, that is not what I said and you know it."

"You didn't have to."

I turn around head back up to my room, my stomach suddenly upset.

It's not two minutes until Josu comes upstairs and stands in my room.

"That's not what I meant, Liliana, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings . All I was saying is that I wish you'd give the boy a chance."

"Josu, it's not fair to him to have to be with someone like me. The same way it's not fair for you and Kaalia to have to take care of me. I'm the reason we had to leave Montreal. I'm the reason that we had to leave everything behind."

"Kaalia and I love you, Liliana. You should know that when you truly love someone or something you bend heaven and earth to help them. You're not a burden on Kaalia and I. We love you, and I know you'd do the same for me if I needed you to."

I wrap my arms around my brother's torso and he hugs me tight.

I head back downstairs and for the first time in a long time, I keep my breakfast down.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

_Where exactly do you live, Jace?_

_Why are you asking?_

_Because I want to come get you, I actually can drive today because I haven't had to take any medicine for nausea or pain. _

_Head toward Hopkins, take a left at the second red light, fourth road on the left. Second gate on the right. _

_Okay._

I see Jace's Jeep sitting in the driveway, accompanied by a Saab and a truck as well. As I'm getting ready to knock on the door, he comes out. He doesn't look happy, which is a shame. His smile is so nice.

"Let's get the hell out of dodge before I have to kill him and you have to help me hide a body."

He sits in the car and looks around.

"This suits you."

"It's safe. Josu picked it out."

"Does the leather not stick to you?"

"Always."

"What game are we playing tonight?"

"We have every board game in existence and then cards too, you can pick. You're the guest."

"Liliana?"

"Yes?"

"You look beautiful today."

My cheeks are as red as the setting sun, I'm sure.

Jace and I spend two hours at the library, cutting, pasting, printing, and finishing up the project. Just as we do, Kaalia texts and tells me that Josu finally found a hockey channel and forgot to take dinner out of the oven. She asked if we could pick up pizza. Jace snorts when I tell him.

We make it to the house with the pizza and popsicles- cause I'm not feeling solids right now.

"Liliana saved dinner, Josu!"

"Hilarious, Kaalia."

"Will you at least try to eat?" Josu asks.

I take a slice of pizza and nibble at it. I'm going to try to at least eat half of it.

"Did you two get your project done?"

"Yes, Jace is going to take it with him just in case I can't drive. It's done, though."

"I'm proud of you two for finishing it in a week when the rest of the class had three."

"Josu?"

"Hmm?"

"As long as it's okay with you, I'd like to take Liliana ice skating next Friday, you and Kaalia are welcome to come too."

I'm taken aback. Is Jace asking me on a date? Or is he asking my entire family on a date?

"That's fine with me, you didn't have to ask though. You're extremely respectful."

"Liliana? Would you like to go?"

I feel my face and ears growing warm from being put on the spot. I can't meet Jace's eyes.

"I'd love to."

"Awesome."

We throw the paper plates away and sit down around the table.

"What are we playing?"

Josu rubs his goatee and looks around the table, thinking.

"We haven't played Liar's Dice in a while."

I snort. I'm terrible at this game. I think Josu's just trying to embarrass me. I grab a Gatorade from the fridge and sit back down next to Jace.

After explaining to Jace how it works, he's wearing a wicked smile. Apparently he and his mother have played this under a different name.

Josu knows me too well. He knows when to call my bluff, when I'm telling the truth. Because of this, I'm the first one out.

Kaalia gets lucky and eliminates Josu next. Jace has the best poker face I've ever seen, and eliminates Kaalia within two turns.

We sit around the table and talk for few minutes before I go grab a couple popsicles and Jace accompanies me to the porch.

"Did you have fun?"

"Yes, I'm jealous. You guys really love each other."

"Jace? Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Are we going on a date Friday?"

"I wouldn't have asked Josu first if I didn't think it was a date."

"I have one condition on going then."

"And what would that be?"

"Go hang out with your friends for a couple hours."

"Liliana…"

"Jace."

"They weren't really my friends. They were, they were… Kallist's friends."

"Who is Kallist?"

I breathe in, biting my lip.

"Kallist is..was..my cousin. We were closer than most brothers. We've been close since we were babies and then when I moved here, we were nearly inseperable. About a month ago, Kallist and I were coming home from playing poker. We got ran off the road by a drunk driver. That's how I broke my wrist. Kallist..he.."

I grab Jace's hand and squeeze it. He looks up at me and knots his fingers through mine.

"You don't have to talk about it, Jace."

"I need to get it out."

"I'm listening."

"He had a traumatic brain injury. My uncle, he didn't even let me say goodbye."

"That's why you hate him."

"It's part of it."

"You're strong, Jace. I'll be here for you if you let me. I want to be you friend."

"I want to be your..nevermind."

I lean over and peck Jace on the cheek. It startles him.

"We'll talk about it."

"About.."

"About feelings."

"Liliana?"

"Yes?"

"It doesn't matter what's wrong. I know something is. You don't have to tell me or talk about it. But know this. Know that it doesn't matter. That I'm deciding, right now, to stay in your life. Because you make me feel human. You make me feel like it's not so bad. You numb the pain of losing him. I'm deciding not to let you go. I hope that you let me help you in the best way I can."

"Jace…"

"You won't change my mind."

"Jace. All I was going to say was that I am ready for Friday."

"You need to get back so you can take your medicine."

"I know.. and Jace?"

"Will you at least try to hang out with your friends? Please?"

"I'll try.."

He looks at his watch and then at me.

"You need to take your meds. Come on, Lili."

I smile at the shortened version of my name.

As I pull into his driveway, he looks at me with eyes that seem to look into my soul.

"I meant what I said. It doesn't matter what's wrong, just think about it. Just let me be there for you."

"Jace.."

He leans over and pecks me on the cheek, returning the favor from earlier.

"We'll talk."

"We will."


	6. A Different Look

(Jace Beleren)

The past two weeks have been miserable. Tezzeret is being a colossal douche bag, I want to murder him. Lili has only been at school on Monday and Wednesday, she's been sick the other days. Our date got cancelled and rescheduled for this week, today, actually. I have barely seen her on the weekends. I miss her terribly.

_Are you coming to school today?_

_Yes. I feel half okay, I guess. _

_Tell Josu that I'm coming by to get you. I want to see you. I miss you. _

_I've missed you too. Sorry I've been so out of touch. Kaalia and J want to know if we're still going skating tonight. _

_That depends on how you feel. _

_I figured you'd say that. _

_It's the truth. I'll be there in about twenty, okay?_

_Gotcha. _

I walk to the door, I have lilies in my hand. She answers the door and looks gaunter than I've ever seen her and her face is pale.

"Jace…"

"I brought you flowers."

"I see that. They're beautiful. Come inside and we'll put them in a vase."

"I thought they might make you smile."

"You were right."

Josu and Kaalia are in the kitchen, finishing up their breakfast. Josu gives me a look that says *I know damn good and well that you definitely have it bad and you should probably ask her out tonight* and I fire one back that says *working on it, bro*

It's kind of sad that I've talked more to Josu in the past few weeks than I have Gideon or Ral. There were days when I would text him to check on Liliana and we would end up talking.

We walk back out to the car and this time, she lets me get her door. I smile and walk around,

"Have you finally accepted that I'm going to get the door?"

"No, I just forgot."

"Mhmm."

"Do you own a pair of ice skates, Jace?"

"No. Why would I own a pair of ice skates? I've never ice skated in my life."

"Oh, it's going to be fun when Josu tries to get you to play hockey with him tonight."

"Oh god…"

On the way to school, Liliana talks about how much she's looking forward to getting back on the ice, and I'm pretty proud of myself for picking the right date.

"I'm glad that you're looking forward to it. It makes me smile to see your smile."

Liliana chuckles to herself and puts her hand on top of mine. I lace our fingers together. I'm not about to send her any mixed signals. I'm not about to waste her time.

We get out of the Jeep and she smiles at me, walking toward Heliod's classroom. We make our way to our seats when he tells the class to stand.

"We're going to have assigned seats today."

_Fucking Really?_

I give Liliana's hand a quick squeeze. This is because of us.

"Miss Vess, you'll be on the end of the first row, Miss Tirel beside Miss Vess.. " he goes on and on until I hear my name. "And Mister Beleren, you're right here, by me."

Liliana looks at me. He put us on opposite sides of the room, and she's got Gideon on one side. Awesome. He turns to talk to her, and I can't hear anything he's saying. Liliana brings out her computer, and it's not long before my email dings.

_He asked me why I took you away from them. As in he and Ral. _

My blood is boiling. Why would he say that? She already feels bad about it.

_I'll talk to him after class. _

_Did I?_

_No, you didn't. I told you they were Kal's friends, really. You didn't take me away from anyone. _

_Okay. _

_Please don't beat yourself up, Liliana. You didn't. I'm not letting anyone ruin our day. It's going to be a good one. _

_I think so, too. _

The rest of the class passes with nothing more than us finding funny pictures to send back and forth. As I get up to meet her across the room, she's walking toward me. Before she can get more than two steps in my direction, Gideon grabs Liliana's arm and turns her around.

"What is the deal between you two?"

"Don't fucking touch her, Gideon. Keep your hands to yourself. You're fucking lucky it's you, because if it was anyone else they'd be toting an ass beating." Okay, Jace. The Southern is coming out. Breathe.

"Jace, you seriously need to take a chill pill or she needs to hurry up and put out so you're not so fucking uptight."

"Gideon! She's not a booty call, so stop! She doesn't have to 'put out' or whatever the fuck you say it is. I hang out with her because I enjoy her company! Come on, Lili."

I grab her hand, and we walk into the hallway.

"Is that what they think? That you and I are having sex just because we hang out?"

"A lot of people think that, Liliana. It doesn't matter. It's not about sex. We're friends, and if we become lovers, it'll be because we want to, because we decided to. Not because people say we are."

"Jace.."

"Please don't worry about it, Lili. Please. I'm with you because I want to be, not because I expect you to put out. I'm with you because you make me feel human."

We sit down at lunch later on during that day, and she sits in front of me, nibbling on an apple and sipping her lemonade.

"Did you think I forgot?"

"Forgot what?"

"Lemon or cherry?"

"I want to try the lemon today."

I smile and hand her the Italian ice. She looks at me and bites her lip, and closes her eyes. That face, goddamn, it's sexy. It's so innocent yet I could see her making it while I made her body quake from pleasure. Her dimples are beautiful. I sigh.

"What is it, Jace?"

"That face.. it makes me want to kiss you."

_Kiss. _That's the word I was thinking. Not.

"You're making your intentions very clear, Mister Beleren."

"Always tell people how you feel while you have the chance."

"If only it were that easy…"

"What does that even mean, Liliana?"

"Sometimes you can't, because then people look at you differently. Sometimes you can't because if you tell them, it doesn't change anything. And sometimes you don't because it changes everything."

Before anything else can be said the lunch bell rings. I'm not going to be able to talk to her in French because the teacher has a really dumb rule about no English being spoken in her class. Ugh.

When we're done, we walk out toward the Jeep. It's three thirty and we've got time to kill before we meet Josu and Kaalia at five.

"What do you want to do?"

I have an idea. I grab her hand and hold it tightly. We walk to the elementary school across the street. Her face lights up.

"You should push me on the swing."

The sun is hitting her hair and it makes it shine, her eyes are alight with childlike happiness.

"You ready?"

The metal of the chain is hot. I give her a big push, and the smile that I see will be in my dreams tonight. She laughs, and for the first time, I look at her and whatever's wrong has left her mind, the pain isn't in her eyes. Every time that I push her, she giggles. I walk around to in front of her and snap a quick picture on my phone, I want her to remember this moment and how free she felt and looked when she's sick. This is the most beautiful I've ever seen a person. She's more beautiful now than she already was, the weight of her sickness is gone. Her sickness is part of her, I am sure, but in this moment, it doesn't matter.

I think about my relationship with Emmara. She was constantly complaining about something even when she didn't have much of a reason to. I never saw this expression on her face. This was an expression of beauty and freedom. Is it the fact that Liliana is sick and that's why she lives in the moment? Or was it just that Emmara put off being a kind, southern lady when she really was nothing but a two-faced liar?

I shake the mental image of the blonde out of my hand. I was heartbroken when I found about what she did. I swore that I would never get in another relationship, and that Kallist and myself were all that I needed.

After all, we were brothers. Regardless of what anyone said, we were brothers, and we both said that family was all we needed.

I turn my attention back to the raven haired girl. She's going to jump. I can see it on her face. Before I can say anything to stop her, she does, but thankfully, she lands on her feet.

"You scared me, don't do that."

"I'm not made of glass, Jace."

"I really don't want to explain to Josu that you have a broken bone, though."

"He'd do well too if he would learn that I'm not dead, yet."

Her saying that makes a knot come up in my throat. Surely what she has isn't life threatening? After all, she's only seventeen. People don't get health problems at seventeen.

"My death is inevitable, Jace. It's just how fast it comes that is the thing."

"Please don't say that, Liliana. The doctors will figure it out."

"Jace…"

Before I can say anything to her about it, her phone buzzes. It's Josu telling us that they're on their way over to the skating rink, so she heads toward the Jeep. She seems to have lost her nerve. We don't talk much, we're both lost in our own thoughts.

I can't force her to tell me anything, and that I know. I don't know how to make it clear that I want to be her friend regardless. I think about how her eyes are constantly in the forefront of my thoughts, and that smile that she had on her face today will most certainly join it.

We pull up to the ice skating rink and Josu and Kaalia are all already there. Liliana lets me open her door as she grabs her bag that without a doubt, has ice skates in it. Josu has a wicked grin on his face and I'm slightly scared.

"Osu, go with Jace to make sure he gets the right type of skates."

_There are types? Jeeeeeeezus. _

Josu walks over to me and puts his arm around me in a fashion that is slightly brotherly and slightly patronizing. I just laugh.

"So we're going to be playing the girls, Jace."

"You're going to be playing with a handicap, Josu."

"I surmised as much. That's not exactly what I wanted to talk to you about, Jace."

"You like her, don't you."

It's not a question. He's stating information.

"I don't think that "like" is the best word. Smitten might be a better one."

"Well, let me tell you something about my baby sister."

"I'm listening."

"She had boys falling over for her at home. She's hasn't had anything to do with any of them, really, Jace."

"Okay…" I prod him to continue.

"She looks at you differently."

"What do you mean?"

"That's your job to figure out. Now, what size of shoes do you wear?"

"Thirteen and a half."

A few minutes later, I look like the Michelin man with blades strapped to my feet.

"Is all of this necessary?"

"Do you value your teeth, Jace?"

"Right."

"Watch my feet, Jace. Together, apart. Together, apart. That's the basis of it. If you hold the stick too far out, you're going to fall. If you hold it too close, you'll trip over it. Try not to hit it too hard at my sister and wife, also."

"Okay, Josu."

Liliana skates over to me very gracefully, spinning around.

"Let me help you. Give me both of your hands."

She turns around and faces me. I take the helmet off for now and look at Liliana. There goes my learning to ice skate.

"Watch my feet."

I look at her feet, and I try to concentrate on my feet. Together, apart. Together, apart. I feel like I've got it down when Liliana lets go. Together, apart. Together, apart. I let go of the edge and feel like I've got skating straight okay.

"Liliana, how do you turn?"

"Lean away from the way you're turning."

I do as she says and promptly fall on my face. She helps me up and we try again.

"Oof. God."

"You'll get it. Just keep trying."

It takes a few tries to get it, but I've got the turn down within a few tries. Josu and Kaalia meet us in the center of the ice, Kaalia taking her place with Liliana.

"Ladies first?" I look to Josu and he nods.

Kaalia skates down to the goal to defend it, Josu does the same but on the other side. Liliana drops the puck and though I try to get possession, she does.

I try to keep up with her, but she's by far the better skater, she gets down there and shoots, but Josu blocks the shot. He hits it over my way and I actually get to it before Liliana does. However, she goes around me and tries to get it, but falls.

"Ow..Shit.."

I grab her hand and she makes to get up, but I end up falling on top of her. She laughs but looks at me.

"You're crushing me."

"I'm sorry."

This time, I brace myself and we both get up. She's still got the giggles before she gets a sick look on her face.

"My nose is going to bleed, go grab Josu."

I skate down there to tell him but he sees the bleeding begin before I get down there. He skates over to his bag and grabs a handkerchief and gives it to her.

She tilts her head back and pinches it.

"Are you okay? That's a stupid question. You obviously aren't okay. But are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine, Jace."

Josu and Kaalia both skate over and say that she needs to stop overexerting herself.

"I'm fine," she grumbles.

"You and Jace go grab something to eat. You need to get some food and then get home so you can take your medicine. We need to tell Doctor Trostani that she needs to take you off or put you on a lower dose of the heparin."

"The stupid IV will clog, Josu!"

"Then we need to talk about the central line or the port."

"We're not talking about this right now, Osu."

"Liliana.." he starts. "Okay. Go eat. I love you and be safe."

She walks over to her bag and pulls out a different shirt. Apparently this has been happening for a while and she knows to be prepared for it. After she changes, Josu hugs her and sends her on her merry way.

"Do you want something other than the diner, Liliana?"

"What else is around here?"

"There's a few pizza places, a really good hole in the wall Italian place, a Five Guys and a bunch of fast food places."

"Italian sounds good."

"You'll love it."

"I hope so."

I think about what Josu told me earlier. That she looks at me differently. Anyone with a pair of eyes could see that I like her and that the feelings are reciprocated on her end. It's not the feelings that I worry about. I worry about her letting me in, letting me love her.

I don't know how to tell her that it truly doesn't matter, that I want her regardless.

Throughout the meal, Liliana tells me about Montreal, about Avacyn, Mirko, Gris and Domri- her friends, about Josu and how he's always taken care of her, but stays clear of her sickness and her parents. She asks me about Kallist.

"So, what was he like?"

I huff a breath and close my eyes, a smile on my lips and small laugh as well.

"Kal, he was a special breed of person. He was funny and completely irreverent, he didn't have a filter, and there were few things Kallist loved more than a fat blunt and a pretty girl. He was my brother."

"I wish I could bring him back for you."

"Me too, Liliana. But you aren't a necromancer. You need to take your medicine." She pulls it out of her purse and swallows what looks to be like ten pills.

"Methotrexate."

"I don't know what that does, I'll look it up when I get home."

"It might scare you away."

"Not likely, woman."

"It is a big, scary word, after all."

"They call me Jace the Lionhearted," I laugh.

"I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"You're not going to do the old climbing out the window trick, are you?"

"Yes. You got me."

She smiles and makes her way there, and I decide it's a good time to look up what methotrexate does. Safari runs slowly and I look for her to come back before I can see what it treats. When the page does load, what I read makes my heart stop. It makes my stomach knot. The word echoes in my mind. _Methotrexate…_

Liliana is making her way back to the table, a slight smile on her face. When she sees my face, she walks hurriedly back to the table, fearing that something is wrong.

"What's wrong, Jace? You look like you have seen a ghost."

"Liliana, you have cancer…."


	7. Circumstances Change

OMG guys I am so sorry. I've had a kidney stone and I've been completely stoned out of my mind on pain killers (no pun intended) and accidently reposted the first chapter. Anyways, here's the correct chapter for you reading pleasure.

And go check out talesfromthemultiverse on tumblr and submit a prompt or write your own submission.

And go read Ravnicademy and One Night In Ravnica by my girl ZabuFanfics. Mr. Anderson and I love her!

(Jace Beleren)

"Yes," she breathes. "I do. That's why I can't allow this to go any further, or allow you to put yourself in a position for hurt."

"Liliana, I care about you. Let me get the tab and we'll talk about in the car."

"I can get it.."

"Shut the hell up."

"Right, jackass."

We walk out to the Jeep and I grab her hand. For the first time, she recoils.

"Do you think that this changes anything?" My voice sounds unlike my own.

"Jace, it changes everything."

"Liliana, no. It changes absolutely nothing. Do you think it changes my feelings? Because it doesn't."

"What feelings, Jace?"

"Aren't they obvious? I like you!"

"But I can't let that like culminate into love, because then what happens when I die? I'm a time bomb, Jace. When I detonate, it's going to break Josu, break Kaalia. Do you think I want that to happen to you? Because I don't and I can't let myself be the agent of your destruction. Because I'm going to destroy my brother. Just like losing him would destroy me. I can't let you fall in love with me!"

"So you think, that just because your days are possibly numbered that you don't deserve the chance to be loved?"

"Jace, please don't do this. Please."

"Let me tell you something. If you die.."

"When. When I die, Jace."

"_**If **_you die, I'm going to lose a friend. I'm going to lose something either way, Liliana! It's obvious that we make each other happy. And I'm not going to stop being your friend, regardless. It doesn't matter if you have a month left. Or a year. Or ten years. Let me make you smile. I've had bad luck- losing my mom, losing Kallist. I never knew my father, Liliana. I'm no stranger to hurt. Or loneliness. I'm willing to take a chance. I'm willing to bet that you beat this. And I want you let me help you."

"How can you just completely put your heart on the line for me, Jace? I don't want to hurt you!"

"Because, Liliana. I was given a second chance. That day in the car, it could have been me just as easily as it was Kallist. I was given a second chance. I'm not going to waste it, because I'm willing to bet that you are my second chance."

Before I can say anything else, she leans over the console of the Jeep and grabs the back of my neck, pulling me into her. Her lips meet mine, and I was startled at first. However, I respond in kind after a second. I put my hand on the side of her face and I feel her smile into the kiss. I haven't felt this emotion in so long that it almost feels out of place. She pulls back first, but smiles and then bites her lip.

"So.."

"Are we a thing now, Liliana?"

"Do you want to be, Jace?"

"Dear sweet God, yes. How is that not clear?"

"So are you going to ask me?"

"Liliana Claire Vess- Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes Jace… what's your middle name?"

"Rylan."

"Then yes. Just so you know, I like kisses."

"So is Friday going to be our date night then?"

"Yes."

"Jace?"

"I have a treatment tomorrow. If you want to come, I'll tell Josu not to worry about it. Don't feel like you have to, though."

"I'll be there, what time do we have to be at Hopkins?"

"Nine, but the treatment is six hours long. So you can go to lunch with Ral and Gideon while I'm taking my treatment."

"No, I'm not leaving you!"

"I'll be fine, I'll take the treatment and we will go eat afterwards and possibly hang out. You promised me you would, Jace."

"Fine. But right now…"

I lean back over the console of the Jeep and tip her chin up. She bites her lip and smiles at me.

"Mmm , kisses?" she says, smiling.

"Oh, yes."

We both look at each other for a moment, smiling. She leans into the kiss, and our lips meet for the second time tonight. Her lips are soft and supple, she smells like lavender and honey. She tastes almost metallic but with a hint of sweetness as well. When I break the kiss, I cradle her cheek in my hand.

"Can I ask you a question, Jace?"

"Mhmm, of course. Anything for my lady." I wink at her.

"How long have you wanted to do that?"

"Do you remember the day I tucked your hair behind your ear after Josu and Kaalia had me over for the first time?"

"Yes."

"Your hair was falling out of that messy bun you put it in. You bit your lip and looked at me with a slight smile on your face. You still had grape popsicle on your lips. In that moment, I knew that you had me. Right then, I wondered what your lips felt like, what your skin felt like. Ever since then, there's been no turning back. I just didn't know how to ask you. That's why I asked Josu, honestly. Can I ask you something?"

She nods her head and smiles.

"How long have you wanted me to do that?"

"Ever since that day when we got the milkshakes at the diner. When you wiped the chocolate off my face, I wondered what your hand would feel like on my neck."

"Lili…"

"What?"

"Nothing, I need to get you home."

My phone dings and when I look at it, it's Josu.

_Make her happy. _

Her phone dings not long after. Hers, on the other hand, says _Ten Thirty. _

I laugh. It's nine forty five. I drive back toward their house, Liliana puts her hand on my knee. It puts my stomach in knots though I feel like it shouldn't.

"Jace?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for looking past my diagnosis- you don't see me as your research project. You don't see me as a broken doll or even like Josu does- like something breakable that you have to protect. That's all I want- is for someone to see Liliana, not see cancer. I'm not Liliana leukemia with you, Jace. You don't see the baby sister that you raised- you just see me. I don't blame Josu for wanting to protect his own. And I just hope that you continue to see something you like in me, even when I'm throwing up. Even when my hair falls out, when I'm bawling in your arms or Josu's begging for the pain to cease or when I'm puking everything I eat back up. It's not glamorous. It's not pretty. But it is my reality, and if you say you want to be in, then I need you to be in. We shouldn't do this half- heartedly. l I hope that you continue to see something you like. I'm looking forward to getting to know you, Jace. Because I like the person I know right now."

"Thank you for being my friend, for not pushing me, for letting me open up. I hope when you see the how cracked and broken I am that you don't decide to leave. Because I'm not at all what I look like in the mirror and I'm terrified to love someone and lose them again, but you're worth it. You're worth every chance I take. I've never felt like this, this strong so quickly. It's scary. I'm terrified. But I'm convinced that I have to be doing something right-because nothing has ever felt this natural."

"I don't care how broken you think you are. You remember you said you thought I was your second chance? Well, what you just told me made me realize something. There's a reason for everything. A reason why we're both still here, maybe the Eternities wanted to play around with us. I honestly don't know. But I do know this. If I'm your second chance, then I'm asking you to be my reason."

"Reason for what, Lili?"

"Hanging on. Josu and Kaalia are my biggest cheerleaders. But I think their lives would be so much better without me. Osu has always been my everything. But he can't move on to the next stage of his life with me still in the house with his wife. I feel so guilty about that.. and…"

"And what, Liliana?"

"Nothing. It's just part of my cancer story. I don't want to talk about cancer right now. I want to kiss my boyfriend , so just for a moment I don't have to think about my bone marrow or my lymphocytes. So kiss me, Jace Rylan. Kiss me like you need me, like you want me, I want to feel you giving everything to this kiss."

"My love?"

Liliana smiles at the impromptu nickname that I have given her. The smile makes my heart flutter in my chest. Maybe we can just have somewhat of a normal relationship with each other.

"What's your cancer story?"

"It'll all come in time. Just be patient. And Jace?"

"Yes?"

"Tomorrow, it's going to be hard. Osu cried the first time. Some treatments are better than others, but it's not an easy thing to watch and I understand if you don't want to come."

"Like I told you earlier, I'll be by your side the whole time except for the few minutes I meet Gideon and Ral at the diner."

"Is there anything I can do to convince you to not come to the treatment?"

"No. By the way, I work Sunday, so you should come by and I can make my beautiful girl her favorite milkshake."

"You won't find me beautiful in a few weeks when every fiber of my body is fighting against me and my hair is falling out."

"I'm not dating your hair, I'm dating your heart."

"_Kiss me, Jace Beleren" _Her voice sounds more powerful than I've heard in a long time. I reach over and peck her on the lips a few times. However, she has more planned than that. She puts her tiny, cold hand on the back of my neck and deepens the kiss. The kisses get heated and hungry fast, I want to grab her hips and pull her close in to me, I want to kiss her neck, I want to make her whimper and moan. I need to expel these thoughts out of my head before she catches on or I give myself blue balls.

"It's ten o clock. Let me get you home so Josu doesn't freak." I put the car in drive. "I'd like to have another kiss and I don't want to be rushed. Can I tell you a story?"

"Sure."

"My mom always used to read me picture books and story books And to the this day, that's why I like to read. There was one story I don't remember the name of, but it was about a little bunny who kept trying to run away from its mother. Its mother then says that she would become whatever the bunny needed to get him back safely. The bunny said that he would become a fish and swim away, and the mother bunny says she would become a fisherman just to find him again. Think of it that way. I want to be your caretaker, your lover, and you friend. And I'll gladly play all those roles as long as it means I get to keep you around, that you stay mine. Don't think I'm trying to own you. Because I don't, I just don't want to lose my second chance at happiness. It would be a disgrace to Kallist if I did."

"It's a nice story and a nice metaphor, but how is it relevant to us?

"Because you're going to be my little bunny. I hope you like your new pet name. Do you know why I chose that? Because you wanted to keep me out so badly. You didn't want to let me in because you were sick. But you said it yourself. I don't see sick. I just see a beautiful young lady that I'm falling hard and fast for."

"How can I ever thank you enough, Jace? I feel like I'll never be able to. You don't understand how much it means to me that you look past my _cancer _and tell me that it didn't matter, that I deserved to be loved."

"Just be true, because the thought of losing you makes me beyond physically sick."

When we pull into the drive, before she can say anything I remind her that I'm going to get the door and her skates. She doesn't protest. Maybe she realizes that I'm going to do it. Though maybe it's just because it's nighttime and she knows how rocky her drive way is. At ten fifteen, I walk her up her front steps with a sheepish look on my face. I want to kiss her, but I'm slightly scared that Josu will be upset with us. Liliana, however, wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me. She wasn't over eager but she was definitely excited, because she kissed me with zeal; like It would be her last kiss for a while.

"Slow down there, tiger. I'm Not going anywhere, beautiful."

This time, the kiss is soft and

supple. Though, I still can't place the metallic taste.

"I had an amazing time tonight, Jace. Thank you again for dinner and taking me skating, it reminded me so much of home."

"Get inside, you look sleepy, sweet bunny. Text me."

"Jace?"

"Yes, love?"

"I had a really great time tonight. And thank you again, for looking past what's wrong."

"It doesn't matter what's wrong. All that matters is what's right, and I think we're right for each other."


	8. Whatever You Say She Is

_Hey guys hey! I'm back from the hospital, ick. Long story. Sculpted Shadows and Ravnica High are in the hands of my wonderful co-writer, but I'm the only one who writes this one. _

_Enjoy the chapter, and please check out both of the other stories!_

_-Lace_

(Jace Beleren)

Liliana texted me last night and told me Kaalia was cooking this morning and if I wanted breakfast to come over around 8:15. I fix myself a cup of coffee in the kitchen when Tezzeret makes his way downstairs. I can hear the steady clink, tink, clink of his arm hitting the railing of the stairs and gulp the coffee quickly as not to have to be in the same room with him for longer than I have to be.

"Where on earth are you going this early in the morning, boy?"

"Over to my girlfriend's house."

"Girlfriend? Your boyfriend's not even cold yet, Beleren."

"You no nothing about her. About Kallist. Shut the fuck up! It should have been you, you useless sack of bolts!"

"No boy, I'm not the one who wrecked the truck, that was you. And you need to learn some respect. Rose never spoke to me this way."

"Keep my mother's name OUT of your mouth, and Kallist's too. You know NOTHING of them!"

"I knew more of your mother than you think, dear boy."

"I'm not your dear anything."

I go to walk out of the kitchen and grab the keys to the Jeep as well as my DS and a book to keep both of us occupied during the treatment. I grab a couple Italian ices and head back upstairs to grab my back pack, my hat, and put my shoes on.

"You need to bring the girl over here, Jace."

"Yeah, that's never going to happen. Ever."

"Oh yes it will, boy, or the car is staying parked."

"You didn't buy that car, asshole."

"I will freeze your bank accounts, Jace. Don't test me. Bring the girl."

"No! So you can make her feel out of place and uncomfortable? She just fu—moved here She just moved here."

"Have you been to her house?"

"Yes, what's it to you?"

"You didn't ask permission to do that."

"I'm seventeen- I don't need your permission or anyone else's to do anything."

"You're not to go back over there until after you bring her here."

"How about no. Good luck with that, 'engineer.' If you were any good at it, you wouldn't have had to ride on my mom's coattails to get your name out."

Tezzeret starts to splutter but I just walk out and crank up the Jeep. My face is flushed and I look pissed. Because I am. However, I can't bring that to her house and definitely not to her treatment. I take a calming breath. I stop by the convenient store and grab a Mountain Dew and a coke and gummy worms- which will be in the Jeep until I'm out of Josu's line of sight.

XxXxXxXxXxX

It's not that I'm trying to disrespect his authority, but I can't help but see her smile. Plus, it's not like it's going to kill her. I understand keeping it down, but one is okay.

I knock on the door and Liliana is in a pair of black yoga pants and a racerback tanktop, smiling. She wraps her arms around my midsection and buries her head in my chest.

"You have to pay the toll."

I kiss her on the top of head and she lets me in.

"Not the kind of kiss I wanted but I'll take it." She pokes her lip out. I tip her head up and kiss her on the lips, lingering for just a second.

"Jace?" Josu asks.

"I'm not going to get admitted, so you don't have to go on this whole spill, Osu. It is completely irrelevant."

"He needs to know."

"I am not getting admitted, so it is not relevant." She smiles at her brother. He pulls her into a hug and looks at me.

"If she does have to get admitted, Jace, call me. You can call quicker than the hospital. The key is to keep her temp down and her fluids up. She has only been admitted once, shortly after we found out. She takes the treatments like a champ."

"That's cause she's strong and she's got this."

"We think so too."

Josu smiles and nods his head. We all end up around the table and Kaalia made bacon and pancakes. I swear sweet baby Jesus smiled when that syrup was made. Yes, it does taste different, and yes it is better.

"Jace?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Don't call me sir, I'm not old enough for that, please for the last time call me by my given name."

"Sorry! It's how I was raised! I'll stop!"

"Thank you, Jace. Anyways, congratulations on finally growing a pair and asking her out."

"Josu! Don't be vulgar." Kaalia chides him, but Josu and I both laugh.

"It wasn't easy, she wanted to fight me the whole way. But I finally convinced her."

"Good."

Liliana looks at her watch and heads upstairs. She comes back downstairs with a generic hospital blanket, a book, and a pillow. I go to take it from her and she's like, "Nope, not a chance, Jace. I've got it."

"Liliana.."

"Don't start with me, Osu!"

"Go before you two are late. See you around 3, we can meet and get something to eat."

We walk out toward the Jeep and I open up the back so she can put everything there since she won't let me hold it.

"Don't touch that door handle woman." I lock it so she can't.

"Oh, come ON! Jace. I've got it."

I only click the lock open when I'm right behind her. She goes for the handle, but I get there first. Her hand is atop mine.

"Step back so I can open the door, Liliana.."

"No no no, Jace.."

I kiss the back of her neck. Her knees go a little wobbly and I laugh.

"You like?" I say as I continue the barrage of kisses.

"Unf. Not fair. Plus Josu's watching."

I jump back and she laughs, opens the door, and giggles. She locks me out, before she realizes I have the keys. This little game goes on for a few minutes until she lets me in.

"Time for kisses!"

I lean over the console and place my lip to hers, before I catch the time. We've got ten minutes to be at Hopkins, so we need to step on it.

"Open up the Yeti Cooler in the back, I got you something that you have to keep a secret from Josu."

"Ooh, yes. I keep ALL the secrets from Osu." She giggles.

"It's nothing too horrible."

"Awh, sad day. Ohhhh yes. A coke AND gummy worms! You're the best! How did you know I liked them?"

She leans over the console and kisses me on the cheek, which makes me blush.

"Thank you, love."

"You're welcome. I knew you liked them because I asked you what your favorite candy was in that blitz of getting to know you texts. I wanted to make you smile before you have this hard day that you're about to have."

"We're about to have, more like. Chemo makes me mean, and for that I apologize. Plus I generally bitch because I don't feel good."

"It became we last night in the car. I told you that I'd be by your side. I just didn't want to freak you out, Lili. I mean Liliana."

"No, you can call me Lili, I don't mind."

"I just noticed that Josu and Kaalia call you that and I didn't want to encroach upon their territory."

"It is okay. Avacyn, Gris, Domri and Mirko call me Lili too. It's not just Josu and Kaalia."

"Ah. Okay. And Lili?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't fight against the pain and nausea medicine just because I'm here."

"Jace, if I want to stay awake then I will."

"Just saying that you don't need to fight it."

We pull into the parking garage at Hopkins. I get out and grab Lili's stuff and lock her in (albeit several times) so I can get the door.

She just laughs and jumps down from the Jeep, and loops her arm through mine as we make the trek into Hopkins.

"You're kind of upbeat for a girl that's going to get a chemo treatment at 9 am."

"I am also a girl who got a smokin' hot boyfriend last night, one whom I have thought about constantly since I met him in the diner that day, plus this will help me get better. I've got more things to be happy about than to be sad. If I constantly dwelled on the bad in my life, Jace, I would have never made it out of my childhood to get cancer…..Besides, what was up without you this morning when you got to the house?"

"Nothing, Lili, nothing. Don't worry with it, it's not important."

"Oh, no, no no, Jace. You don't get to hide things from me, I opened up to you."

"Partially you did"

"What does that even mean?"

"Your cancer story, who you are on the inside of this shell you put on. Because I can see while it's a good one, it's still a shell. One that I like very much. A shell that I can see myself falling in love with. But I'd rather not, if there's still a part of you that I don't know, I want to. Wow, that sounded really sexual there at the end, I'm sorry, Dear Jesus…."

"Hahahaha, I understand what you meant by it. There are just things in that story, dark things I'd rather not talk about. Things that will.. without a shadow of doubt, scare you away."

"You'd be surprised. I'll make you a deal, Liliana Vess. I'll show you mine if you show me yours. I'll tell you if you tell me and vice versa."

"Fine. What was going on at your house this morning?"

"I was getting a cup of coffee and ready to come to eat breakfast this morning. For some reason, he was up in the normal part of the house instead of his workshop. He asked me where I was going and I said 'to my girlfriend's house' and he said, 'but your boyfriend isn't even cold yet' and said some stuff about my mom, his sister. I flew off the handle just a little bit; and he said I wasn't 'allowed' to come or do anything with you until he met you, or he'd freeze my bank accounts."

"If It's a money thing, don't worry, I've got it, I don't know if you'd noticed yet or not," I cut her off.

"I have, but that's not the point, Liliana. I have cash on hand for when he gets like this. Our family comes from money too. The money is not the point. The power is the point. He's taking away my freedoms if he can't bend me like does that wrought iron."

"So do it, I'm not scared to meet your uncle. He won't hurt me, at the worst he can hurt my feelings and you can say you introduced me. Jace, I have had my feelings hurt before."

We turn into the last hall before we get to the chemo wing, getting glances and smiles from the nurses who obviously know Liliana. I grab on to her hand as she dumps her comfort items into a chair. We made it, at 9:02.

"Well, you don't look very much like Josu. What's your name?"

"I'm Jace, Liliana's boyfriend." The comment makes my heart smile.

"I told her she'd have her pick of the boys in this town, though you don't sound very much like you're from Baltimore," she says evenly.

"I'm from Asheville, ma'mm."

She turns to Liliana and looks around on her arms. It's obvious she doesn't have a good sticking vein for an IV today.

"I know you didn't want it, but Josu's already consented. You knew that if we couldn't find one today, we'd have to put in a PICC line."

"Jeeze. Whatever."

Liliana turns to me with a grumpy look on her face.

"Cancer story one. You have to get a whole ass-ton of medicine, chemo, pain pills, all kinds of stuff. Most of this is through an IV. Since methotrexate is such a wonderful drug and allows me to keep my food and drink down, I don't ever get dehydrated, like ever. Since I never get dehydrated there is no reason for her to stick this long ass tube about an inch away from my heart into my vein. It's semi-permanent and I can go home with it as long as it doesn't get wet."

She says all this with a bright smile like she's trying to four easy payments of 19.99.

"It'll look beautiful on you."

It's not a long time but they do ask me to step out of the room during one part of the procedure, so it can be sterile. I hope it's not hurting her too badly or that they're not going to mess it up, because the last thing she needs is an infection.

When they do call me in, she sits there while they prep the treatment.

"Have you SEEN the guy that walked in here, Jolene? Isn't he hot?"

The nurse turns and sees that it's me and I strike a pose just for their benefit. It's already almost ten, and I told Gideon and Ral I'd meet them at the diner for lunch at eleven, so I do have that to be looking forward to.

The machine starts a slow, steady, drip of the cocktails of medicine into her veins. She scoots over in her chair and pats it so I can sit.

I make my way over there from the chair I was sitting in. They are moderately comfortable and she wraps her legs around mine and her arms around my torso, snuggling into my chest.

If she falls asleep, I'm not leaving. There's no way I could.

"What story do you want to hear first, Jace?"

"It doesn't matter. Tell me anything. I just want to get to know you."

"When we were very small, Josu was twelve and I was barely six, we went out on a bitter cold night to the back part of the Vess property without letting our nanny know. God only knows where our parents were. It was four days before Christmas, Josu and I had been in front of a TV all night. We pulled on boots, grabbed our skates and ran to the frozen pond that was on the back part of the land. We made it all the way out to the pond and skated for hours, Josu helped me with that full spin I had been working on for a couple months down that day. I was so excited, showing him I could do it on my own, when the cops showed up at the pond."

"Oh my god…"

"Anyways, they walked over to the pond, no skates, and the guy fell straight on his ass, Josu burst out laughing. The next guy tries to walk up to us but the same thing happened, the third asks us to skate over to the edge, Josu grabs my hands and spins me around several times. We skate over there and they ask us if we were the young Mister and Miss Vess and we answered yes, and then they said that they'd been out five hours looking for us, and our parents were 'worried sick.' Josu and I just laughed. Josu picked me up and put me on his shoulders and we walked back to the house.

"You two have always been close, then?"

"Always. Do I get a story before you go meet your boys?"

"Sure. What do you want to know?"

"My mom and I used to live on a farm. I grew up around plants, around horses, everything. It was June and it was a hundred and two degrees outside It was hot as hell. So mom grabs a picnic basket and jumps on her horse, Moon, and I ride behind her on mine, Shooter. I miss that horse. Well there was a pond back there, and we both knew it. It was a question of who would get pushed in the water first. She sits the picnic basket down, towels, everything, and no one got pushed, we both just kind of fell in. My mom, she went and grabbed me around the shoulders and nearly drowned me. I splashed back in my weight in water. It was one of my best memories. I think we both ate our weight in peaches that day."

"Peach? What's that?"

"Oh my God, Liliana, you've never eaten a peach."

"No…."

"I'll get you one on my way back, you'll love it. I'm glad they're still in season."

"Okay, Jace. "

The time is nearly ten forty five. The diner is only two blocks, ten minutes away.

"You need to go. I'll be here when you get back."

"Do I have to?"

"You need to talk to your friends, Jace. I'll introduce you to mine over Skype if you want."

I smile and I snuggle into her chest for a second, she cuddles me into her. She tips my head up and our lips meet, it makes my head spin. She kisses me, but nipples on my lower lip. I grip the back of her head and deepen the sweet, lovely kiss.

"Mmm.. you need to go Jace."

"But.."

"Go…I'll be here when you get back."

Reluctantly, I tear myself away from Liliana's arms and wave goodbye, she looks like she doesn't want me to go, but doesn't say anything. I wish she would have. I keep compulsively checking the phone in my pocket, but nothing. When I walk into the diner, they're already there and I shoot a quick text to Lili letting her know I'm here.

_Have fun xoxox _

At the risk of sounding pathetic, I just send a smiley face back.

_Milkshake? _

_Yes, pretty girl. _

They walk in and put their keys on the table.

"What's up?"

"Not much, just dropped Liliana off at the doctor."

"Oh, the sick chick your replaced us with, does she have cancer or something?"

"Yes, she does actually. Do you have a problem with that?"

"No bro, why are you so hostile?"

"I'm not hostile, just that cancer isn't a laughing matter to me nor should it be to anyone."

"Kallist never would have done this to us, though, Jace."

"Done what? I've found a girlfriend, which is exactly what you three wanted me to do?"

"Not at the expense of forgetting your boys, remember Jace…."

"Do not even say it. She's not a 'hoe' and she never will be. She's special to me."

"You've known her three weeks! Maybe a month."

"The thing is, though, she' touched the broken part of me in those weeks, a part of me that no one else has even seen."

"You don't let us.."

"You never asked! And in all reality, I didn't want you to. It took someone to reach in and try for me. The first person since mom or Kallist."

"So let me get this straight. You're ditching your friends, days of pool, poker, and chicks, to go hang out in a doctor's office and crappy old magazines. You're trading us for her?"

"I'm not trading anyone for anything, but I'm sure as _hell _not leaving her. She makes me feel not so broken inside."

"Because she's broken on the outside, Jace! Are you too blind to see it? Or do you just not want to?"

"She is NOT broken, she is the most beautiful person I have ever seen!"

"Yeah, dude, she's hot but all that maintenance is not even worth it."

"She's not a fucking car!" I slam the coke down on the table. "She is a person and everyone needs to see how beautiful that person is. She's kind, and she's funny, and she's caring and she loves the shit out of her family. She's not a diagnosis, she's not some sort of special snowflake that everyone can flaunt, she's my fucking _girlfriend_ and it's not going to change. And don't you ever, ever, tell me she's not worth it. Because you don't fucking know her, you're not even worthy of that. You honestly think she's nothing more than a piece of ass to me? Then good fucking riddance."

"Whoa, Jace. No one's trying to take her away from you, just trying to make you see that you're falling in love with something that's going to inevitably break."

"Really, Gideon, because that fucking red-head you seem to like so much could wrap her car around a tree on the way home. Or find out she had some type of life altering illness. Or get into a gun accident, just simply be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Is she more breakable than Liliana? Or is it because hers is even the slightest bit visible? Tell me, Gideon. Tell me the difference."

"Dude, Chandra and I, it's kind of different, we're both young…"

"No. It is no difference. She is my choice. Liliana is my choice. She's not perfect but neither am I. And we're both young, too. It doesn't matter to me if she's sick. It wouldn't matter if she wasn't."

"So you're saying you're going to keep this girl around and not us, Jace?"

"I never said that, you did."

"She's just, she's sick, Jace."

"Yeah. She is."

"We should hang out again, soon then. Maybe we can meet her or something."

"Maybe. She's worth meeting."

"If you say she is, bro."

We walk over to Teysa and the counter, where I order Liliana's milkshake. I probably should have driven, but I get her to double insulate it. She's going to want to know what happened, I know.. I just don't really want to talk about it. They're so shallow.

I walk into the door of the hospital room, greeted by a very red faced Liliana and the nurse who is taking her temperature.

"If it goes much longer being over 100, Miss Vess, we are going to have to call your brother."

"I'll just do it.."

She pulls out her phone and talks to him, he'll without a doubt be there soon. I sit her milkshake down in front of her with a smile and I take up the seat in the chair that I vacated.

"Ooooh pretty girl, you are hawwwwt."

"Oh my god, Jace…"

"Drink that, please.."

At this moment, Josu walks in. And at this moment, I had my first real encounter. My first real encounter with new life I chose.

Liliana was right. It's not easy. It's something you'll never forget.

And it changes you.


	9. Inferno

_**Enjoy and please leave a review (: Apparently FFN hates me and I posted chapter eight again on accident. Here is the correct chapter. Sorry about any confusion! **_

_**(Jace Beleren) **_

Liliana grabs the trashcan and heaves. The pancakes and bacon are making a second, unwanted appearance. I grab her hair and hold it as she throws up. I crouch next to her and Josu gets on the other side. Josu murmurs something that sounds like a lullaby in French, I stroke her hair softly, bringing a slight smile to her face.

"Shhh, it's all okay. It all will come up, eventually."

"Osu…"

"I'm right here, you're fine. You're gonna be fine. It's all going to be okay."

I stroke Liliana's hand and she grab onto it with a death hold. A few more retches, a couple more coughs, and it's over. There is nothing else to come up. Her stomach is completely empty. She leans into Josu's chest, and he helps her up back into the chair.

"Mister Vess?"

"Jolene? Yes?"

"I think we're going to have to admit her, at least for the night. We've got to get her temperature under control."

"Of course. I've got her things in the car. Jace, if you want to go home, we both understand." Liliana nods meekly behind him.

"I'm staying."

"Jace.. don't…"

"No, Liliana. We talked about this yesterday.."

After Josu walks back to the car to get her stuff, I sit next to her and she smiles, through her obvious pain and nausea.

"You look beautiful, Liliana."

The nurse pulls out a thermometer and Lili opens her mouth and the nurse puts it under her tongue. It was already two degrees higher than it was. It's 104.2. They've tried Tylenol and every medicine under the sun to get it down. The nurse comes back and tells her to strip down to her underwear, I touch her face and walk to the other side of the curtain.

"We're going to try to sweat it out. Wrap up in the blanket, Liliana." Jolene says. Josu sees me waiting on the other side of the curtain and asks if she's decent and after a pause, she says yes, and Josu and I walk into her room.

"Josu, go back to work, I'll be here when you get back, go. Kaalia will be off in two hours and I won't be alone."

"Liliana…"

Jolene walks in. Her temperature hasn't budged, and the doctor is close behind.

"She needs to sweat it out. Her body heat alone isn't enough, even with the blanket. The next thing that will happen if we can't get it down is that we will have to put her in an ice bath."

"Is there isn't anything else we can do?"

"I'm not getting in an ice bath, hate to break it to you, doctor Trostani. I will sit here in my fever and be really, really hot."

"Look, Josu. The best thing you can possibly do for her is have you or her new friend here strip down to boxers and for lack of a better word, cuddle her until she sweats it out. If we're lucky, it might be enough."

Liliana and Josu both look at each other like neither one wants to do it, and I'm not about to suggest it, for fear of being thought of as some huge pervert. They just kind of look at each other for a long moment, until Josu's eyes change. They've reached some sort of understanding.

"She's really too old for me to be doing that. If she we're ten, I'd think nothing of it. I know that would be very awkward for her and me, so this is me. Asking you to do this. As a favor. To me. Nothing else."

I'm really concentrating hard on not laughing at the way Josu says awkward, but I swallow the laugh.

"Of course, if you want me to and it would make you more comfortable, I'll keep my hands above the blanket."

Josu sighs with relief.

"Not really necessary, I don't expect much of that going on with her feeling as bad as she does. I'm going to go out here for a second and let you change."

"Not exactly the way I've pictured this going in my head, Jace, but it'll work. I _wanted _to cuddle at the house. With a movie and possibly some kisses." She sighs.

"I can put on a movie and I'll kiss you if Josu's not looking."

Josu and I both snort at each other. I fold my clothes up on the chair and she opens up the blankets for me. I tangle my legs with hers and put one hand under her and the other over her abdomen, we're facing each other.

It is impossible _not _to notice her. I don't know how to not notice her. Her breasts, her curves; they are mesmerizing. Her body is radiating heat from her feverish state, her head is cocooned in the contours of my chest. Her temperature has to be going up, she feels as if she's on fire. She coughs and the slight movement travels throughout the small space between us, she scoots closer to me, her bare skin almost alight. She nuzzles into me again, and I take it as a sign to snuggle her tighter.

"Kiss me,"

I peck a light kiss on her feverish lips, which are completely parched. Her mouth is so dry, she has to be dehydrated.

"Again."

I kiss her again, just barely brushing her lips against mine. She pulls her leg over mine, closing the distance between us.

"I really, really like you, please don't go anywhere."

How could she be perfectly fine this morning and now she feels like her body is on fire? How is it that so much can change in so little time?

"I'm not."

I kiss her again, softly. She goes to deepen the kiss, but I'm not going to do that in front of Josu. I have too much respect for the guy. I pull off and she pokes out her lip.

"You weren't singing this song last night."

"Liliana…"

"I'm not going to give you the cancer, it's not contagious."

"Lili…"

She snuggles her head into my chest again, quieting. I can't quite tell if it's her or me sweating at this point. Her chest is flush with mine and her slow, quiet, sleepy breaths are constant against my chest. I kiss her hair, pleading with the Eternities to quench the fire that's running through her veins. The nurse, Jolene comes in after about fifteen minutes.

"It's 102.6, Josu. I'll give this another fifteen minutes but then it's not in my hands anymore."

I don't look at Josu. He nods, I'm sure, and I carry on holding her. Willing my body to take the fever out of hers. I look at her as she sleeps, she looks so peaceful. The weight of her own body killing her not weighing on her psyche. The fear she has of disappointing her brother, it's gone. The thoughts of the burden she thinks she is-they don't even exist.

"I didn't know my heart was capable of this," I say, not to Josu, not to Liliana, more to myself. "I didn't know how intense, how _burning_ this feeling is. Why is it that every single day I know you, I find myself needing you. I don't know how to deal with this. But I don't want it to stop, I can't make it stop.." I thought I'd danced this dance before. I have _never felt like this. _Every single fiber of my body, every ounce of my being wishes I could take this from her. If it meant she could be peaceful every day, then by the eternities, it would be worth it.

I clench my eyes shut, fighting off the memories from the past, memories that plague me in my weakest. If he was here, he'd know what to do. This is what friends were supposed to be for. Kallist Rhoka's face is emblazoned in my mind's eye. That one sentence he always said, that one sentiment that's written in stone above his broken body.

_Do me proud, Jace. Come on, Beleren. Make me proud. Do me proud, bro. _

_Death be not proud,_

_For some have called thee mighty, it art not so…_

Death will not take another person from me.

If I have to give myself to it, I will. Death will not take another person I care for from me.

_For those thou thinkest, some might overthrow…_

_Die not, poor death, for thou canst kill me. _

This will not happen. Because I won't let it.

I brush my lips against her sweaty brow, cocooning her from everything, because in that moment, it was all I could do to keep myself from breaking.

_**(Josu Vess) **_

I can't hear the words.

I don't know if I want to.

I can hear the plea, the near broken sounds of the young man's voice.

Jolene walks into the room and puts the thermometer underneath Liliana's arm. Jace sees it before I do, and the slow sigh of defeat.

"I'm going to give her the Ativan first. It'll numb the shock."

"Jace, get dressed. Wait outside. Hopefully this won't take too long."

I feel my voice break on the end. I don't want to do this to her, but I can't let the inferno burn. And I have to be the one to do this. It's always been Liliana and I, ever since we were children. I've taken care of her. And she's taught me things about love that I never even knew were possible.

There were always people in the small, secluded part of Montreal that we lived in that talked. About how we were never seen apart. How our relationship bordered on inappropriate. But none of them lived how we did.

I don't know my father. I don't know my mother. I know my father's money, my mother's family business. But that's all that was important. Being able to keep up appearances just enough for people not to notice. I was six when Lili was born. And that day, I swore to myself that I'd keep her from any and all harm that could possibly befall her.

I've done my job well. I've done my best to make sure that she's never been lonely, that she's sheltered from our toxic family. I found a woman that loves me- and on top of that, loves Liliana like her own. She's familiar with the rejection of our parents- that couldn't be helped. But I try, every single day, to let her know that she's special and loved.

There was no way that I could have protected her from this. Why is it that the universe feels it necessary to beat down those with that they cannot control? Because if I could, this plate would be mine. I would take this from her in a second.

As I gingerly lift my sister from her hospital bed, she stirs. She clings to my chest like I'm her lifeline.

"Lili, we've got to do this. We've got to get your temperature down."

"Osu, no, Osu please…"

"I have to. I can't let your temperature climb. As soon as you get under 100, they'll let me take you out."

She clings onto my shirt for dear life. Her tears are quiet, and that makes it more painful. This fever could push her into seizures or worse.

"Osu, don't. Please. No. No, no, don't."

"I won't let go, Lili. Please. For me. Don't do this for you. Do it for me."

"I'm not strong enough."

"You are. I won't let go, I promise. I'll never, ever let you go."

She releases her vice like grip on my shirt and lets me lower her into the ice cold water. Her breath is shaky and the Ativan does nothing to calm the tremors.

"I'm never going to get better, Josu, never! It's going to win."

"No, it isn't. You will get better."

"Osu, this is completely futile."

Her teeth start to chatter and her skin breaks out in gooseflesh. Her temperature is dropping. Finally.

"You are not giving up, you aren't letting this win. You're strong enough to beat it. I know you're scared. I'm scared too. I'm scared absolutely shitless. When has it ever been not you and I, mon petit lis? You love life, you love your family, you love your friends. You have too much to live for."

"Josu, please get me out of here. Please. I can't do this anymore! I want to go home!"

"Liliana, you can."

Jolene puts the thermometer in Liliana's mouth. We both wait with bated breath as the gadget does its job.

_99.4_

It only took ten minutes. Ten minutes that felt like an eternity of pure, unadulterated _hell. _

Jolene goes to grab a towel, but I don't trust anyone right now. I lift Liliana from the ice and she gingerly wraps herself in it. Her body is shaking with anxiety and cold. She wraps up in a blanket and pulls on her sweatpants and tank top.

I thought I understood the concept of tough love; Liliana and I were products of it, were we not? No. Liliana and I were the products of negligence and apathy. Tough love was what I had to show her just then. She grabs me around the chest area and begins to sob, brokenly, unrestrainedly into my chest.

"It's too hard. I can't. I don't want to. Josu please, you can do anything, just make it stop…"

Gone are the days when I could fix every problem she had, gone are the days that laughter is enough. Because she's looking at a long, hard, road right now. I've always vowed to do the best I can for Liliana and I, but what happens when it's no longer enough? When I can't fix it anymore.

"I can't promise it'll get better, but I promise I'm here. Step by step, Liliana. You're going to beat this, you're going to win, and you're not going down without a fight."

She doesn't say anything else. She just grabs onto my shirt and cries until she can't anymore. My eyes are stinging. These aren't the broken sobs of my sister, these are tears of helplessness. I don't know what to do. We take it one treatment at a time. One day at a time. I wipe the tears out of my eyes as Liliana calms.

"Is Jace still here?"

"He's outside, Liliana. He told you he wouldn't leave."

"Lots of people have told me lots of things, Josu, but that doesn't make it true. You of all people know that."

She picks up her phone as there is a knock on the door.

"Josu? Liliana?"

"Come in, sweetheart, and tell Jace to come too."

"Awh, for a second, I thought you were calling _me _sweetheart, Josu."

The tension that was present in the room not one minute before breaks when everyone laughs. Even though Liliana's eyes are tired, they still lit up at the moment of wit. Kaalia sits down near the top of Liliana's bed and strokes her hair.

"Oh, love, it'll get better soon. I promise."

Kaalia grabs the brush from the bedside table and begins to brush Liliana's hair. Our hair is the same, long, thick, and dark. She hums as she pulls the tangles out of her hair from her cry earlier, tenderly ironing out the knots.

"I wish I could take this from you, Lili."

"I'd never let you," she says. "Any of you."

"Would you like me to braid it for you?"

Liliana just smiles and nods. Kaalia parts her hair to the right and begins to braid a headband into Liliana's hair. When Kaalia and I first began to date, she made every effort to include her into our day to day. Kaalia knew about our parents because of Sorin, but she didn't realize how much Liliana depended on me.

Liliana and Kaalia took up with each other immediately. Kaalia was an only child but doted on her younger cousin, Avacyn. Kaalia introduced Liliana and Avacyn and they haven't went one day without talking since. My wife, she'll be a great mother one day. If we can get Liliana healthy, then we can think about it. I push the thought out of my mind.

"You won't be able to much longer, Kaalia…"

"Don't say that, Liliana. It will grow back."

Kaalia pins the braid and Liliana smiles. She pulls the rest of Liliana's hair back into a bun, they've done this for years, since we were barely a couple. The look suits Liliana and makes her look older than she actually is, which makes me want to scream. However, I'm glad they got to share a moment since our lives have been so hectic lately. She kisses her on the forehead and hugs her tightly.

"We will get through this, mon souer. I promise. Josu, what do you want to do about dinner?"

"Spaghetti. Italian place like a block from here," Liliana blurts out. "You won't regret it."

Jace smiles a wicked grin and looks at his girlfriend.

"Told you so…"

"If you're hungry, then I'll get you what you want. Do you want me or Kaalia to stay with you tonight?"

"Neither of you, go home, I'll be fine, they have phones for a reason."

"I'll stay if you want me to, Josu. I don't have to work tomorrow and you had to work most of the day today."

"You go home too, Jace." Liliana's biting voice sounds throughout the room.

I look at Jace for a long moment. I don't know what he and Liliana have done to each other, but ever since he's been in our lives, he's always went above and beyond for what he had to do for my sister. You can look into the boy's eyes and tell he has feelings for her, but he's also hiding something, something dark. I know the look because for years, I wore it too. Protect those you love, don't let anyone in. Liliana didn't trust anyone but me, but now, I can tell she wants to trust him. And he wants to trust her.

It's like they're silently begging for each other to be exactly what they say they are, and I want to see it play out. Because I don't think he's going to hurt her, which is more than I can say for the cretins that chased her in Montreal.

"Can I talk to you, Jace?"

"Of course."

The younger man and I step outside the room. Liliana has a worried look on her face, but Kaalia doesn't. We've talked about the presence of the new person in our lives.

"I could say something along the lines of, eh, what's the word, _you have it bad, _but I'm not going to. All I can say is thank you for caring about my sister. Because I don't know what it is that you've done to her, but I haven't seen her smile like she has in the past week since she got diagnosed. Everything in her life is changing, and I'm glad that you're here to help her through it. I don't think you want to hurt my sister and I know she doesn't want to hurt you. This is me, Jace, telling you thank you. For whatever it is that you've done. Because something in her has ignited in the past few weeks, and I'm not sure what it is. But I'm sure it has to do with you. Because the look in her eyes, and the look in yours is alarming, because I've never seen her like this."

"I don't know what it is about her, I can't place it. All I can say is that I thought I'd been here before. But I haven't, and I don't think I ever will again…"

"I meant it, the other night. Make her happy. I like you, kid. Now explain to me how to get to this place…"

_**(Jace Beleren) **_

Kaalia is making her way out as I make my way in. She pulls me into a hug with a smile.

"Thank you, Jace."

I smile at her and nod as she walks out the door to join her husband. It's so obvious that they love each other and that they love Liliana. Why is it that I could never get Emmara to accept Kallist for who he was? It's obviously possible. How is it that she could be so jealous of him but Kaalia accepts Liliana with open arms? I shake my head to get the image of the blonde out. She's not important, not anymore.

"Are you decent?"

"Yes."

She scoots over in her bed to make room for me. I kick the Sperry's in the floor and she grabs my hand.

"Thank you for today. I want to be held.."

I scoop her knees over my legs so that she's sitting on the bed but her legs are in my lap. She cuddles into my shirt and smiles.

"You smell so good.."

"How are you feeling?"

"Do you want the honest answer?"

"Transparency, remember?"

"I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I thought I was dying earlier, I've never had a temperature that high. I felt like I was bothering you by trying to get my fever down, it's not your job. It's not your fault or your responsibility to take care of me because my body is broken."

"I'm making it my job. You're important to me. You're not bothering me. Don't say that."

"Why is it that you want to be with me? I'm a burden."

"Stop, right there. Right now. You're not a burden. Remember, we chose this. We chose this together. And I'm not going to stop choosing you because you're sick."

I tip her head up and kiss her, her mouth not as dry as it was earlier. I deepen the kiss this time, pulling her close to me. Her hands find the back of my neck and mine her hips, each putting a bit of pressure on the other. I feel what Josu was talking about earlier, that ignited spark, the fire that will consume us both if we let it.

Everything in me says the opposite of what I was pleading for earlier. Let this inferno burn.


	10. Photograph

_**(Liliana Vess) **_

It's a staff development day, which means we don't have school. Jace has to work until noon, but he's coming over afterwards. Josu and Kaalia are both at work. So at eight AM on a Monday, I'm sitting in my house bored to tears.

Surprisingly, I feel decent. I have two more days until my next treatment and my hair hasn't started falling out yet. I slept with my hair in braids last night, so it'll be curly when take it down. My phone buzzes. It's Jace.

_Good morning, beautiful. I'm at work. I can't wait to see you later. How are you feeling?_

_Actually I feel pretty good this morning. I haven't taken any medicine yet, though. _

_You need to do that. _

_Yeah, I know. What are your plans for today? _

_Well, I'm going to come and get you when I get off at noon and I have a surprise for you. _

_What?_

_If I tell you, it won't be a surprise. _

_I guess I'll just have to surprise you too, then. I have a question. _

_Go ahead. _

_I want to introduce you officially to my friends as my boyfriend. Do you mind?_

_Of course not. Skype?_

_Yes. It'll be after our outing or whatever we decide to do as long as it's okay with you. _

_Can't wait. See you in a few hours, pretty girl. I gotta go. I'll text you when I can. Be ready by 12:30, okay?_

What on earth could Jace possibly be planning?

I watch a couple reruns of _The Blacklist _while I wait for Jace to get here. I finally drag myself off of the couch around eleven thirty.

I look furiously through my closet, searching for something that fits and doesn't make me look as gaunt as I actually am. I settle on a pair of dark wash shorts that have a bit of embellishment on the pockets and a cream colored lace shirt. I decide I might as well go all out since I feel okay. I unbraid my hair and it falls in loose curls down to my waist. It needs to be cut, but I can't bear to do it. It won't be there much longer anyways, I think with a sigh.

I pull the top part of my hair into a clip, teasing it just a bit. Before I put on makeup, I apply an undercoat of sunscreen, because the last thing I need is to be a brilliant shade of lobster. I hear the engine of the Jeep pull up, followed by a short knock on the door. I pull on a pair of tan gladiator sandals make my way to let Jace in.

I open the door and Jace is standing there in a blue button down shirt, flat front shorts, and his Sperry's. I'd always kind of went for guys with a more hipster style of dress, but this suits him so well. I don't know what they would call it, but he looks like a gentleman rather than a delinquent, which is what most of the Canadian guys I went for looked like, at least according to Josu.

"Wow, Lili… You look absolutely stunning. You are so.."

"Sick looking?"

"No, I was going to say 'fucking hot,' but that's not very nice."

"Ah, it's pretty nice. Would you like to come in while I finish up gathering my stuff?"

He lays his keys down on the catch all table next to the door and shuts it behind him. It's taking every ounce of my self-control not to jump into his arms right now. Who knows when the next time I'm going to feel good is? I make my way up the stairs to my room, when I feel Jace's hand give my hip a light squeeze. It's like everywhere he touches me, I can feel the static. It's electrifying, and I sigh a small sound of longing as we walk up the stairs.

We make the left into my room and I let the door creak shut behind us. Jace and I make eye contact for the first time since in the doorway, and there's no stopping it. He's across the room in seconds, pulling my hips into him as our lips meet. The electricity that was charging itself before is running like poison through my blood, I can feel him in every single part of me.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in as close as we can be, never breaking the kiss. We back up against the door, his hands pinning my hips to it. I've never been this hyperaware during a kiss before. I can't anticipate his next move like I could before, with others. I feel Jace's hand on the small of my back, sliding beneath the cloth of the cami that was under the lace. When his hand feels the bare skin of my back, my breath catches in my throat. The sound was foreign, but something about it spurred Jace on. He slides his hands from underneath my shirt to the material of the shorts, pulling me flush with him again.

I back him up against the footboard of my bed. He sits and I wrap my legs around him as he pulls me closer to him. His lips move from my lips to my neck and collarbone. He gives my hips another firm squeeze and hugs my body close to his, finally catching his breath.

"That was.." I breathe, completely winded. "Amazing."

"I don't know what it is, I don't know what makes me so _out of control _when we're together. You make it hard to stop."

"You act like it's easy for me to."

"Isn't it though?"

"No, it isn't, especially when all I want to do is this.."

I grind my hips into him and press my lips to his again. The kisses are soft and slow, there is something smoldering behind each one.

"When I wonder how those hands would feel on my hips, or how your lips would feel on my neck, or what your mouth tastes like at any given moment…"

"Liliana..." His voice is husky, with something that sounds like desire dripping from every word. He pulls me in to him, hugging our bodies together.

"Hmmm?" I trace his earlobe with my finger and kiss his neck playfully.

"I want to do this right. I don't want to mess this up, and we have to stop right now before I can't tell myself no anymore."

Deep inside, I know he's right. We've both said from the very beginning that we both felt something special was going on beneath the surface, something bigger than who we both are. There's a fire alight in both of us, and sometimes, I admit, it's a little scary. It's scary to feel so much so fast, especially when you're used to feeling nothing at all.

"I'm addicted to you," I say, with a smile on my lips. " But you're right. We need to stop, at least for now."

"I just don't want you to think that I don't want to…"

"I don't. I understand. What I did in your lap was completely unfair and probably frustrated the hell out of you."

"I've been frustrated since day one, if you must know. I thought that kissing you would sate it, I thought that holding you would be enough. That's when I realized I didn't crave your body, I wanted your heart. As selfish as that is, I want to be _yours¸_ and I have since the day we met."

I press my lips back to his, only for a brief moment. I don't know how he is so eloquent with words, but he's put my sentiments out there too. There's a feeling within me that I don't want to fight anymore, and it's so much deeper than just physical love.

I smile and stand up, fixing my shirt and camisole. Jace brushes his hair over, and after looking in my mirror, he hugs me tightly from behind.

"Let's get this show on the road then. Oh, and by the way, Josu and Kaalia came in this morning. She looked slightly green, like she'd been sick."

"She was fine earlier, but I really, really hope she's not going to bring some god awful virus back here from her working in the freaking medical clinic at Hopkins," I say with a sigh "I don't see how she doesn't stay sick."

"Maybe because her immune system doesn't suck? I don't know. I've never really been one to get sick."

"Wonder what that's like," I laugh, poking Jace in the side. I grab my purse and we head back downstairs just as my phone rings. As soon as I answer it, Josu is speaking rapid French on the other line.

"Hello? Hey, Osu. Is Kaalia okay?"

"Do I need to stay at home? I will."

"I know that, and yes we are going to get lunch."

"Yes, I will, and no, I'm not driving. _Je t'aime. Au revoir."_

"Blah, blah, blah, take your medicine Lili, blah, blah, make sure you eat, blah, blah, blah don't be out too late, Liliana. Blah, blah, blah, I'm your older brother and I think that I know everything.."

"Hey, be nice."

"Just because you two have some bromance shit going on doesn't mean I have to be nice to him," I say, smiling serenely. "I think you like him more than you like me."

"Not likely, and you should be, he loves you."

"I love him too, that doesn't mean he gets to tell me what to do.."

"Actually, isn't he your legal guardian?"

"Now he is, yes. But it's only been legal since we left Montreal, and plus I turn seventeen in three weeks, so I won't need a guardian."

"Your birthday is in three weeks?"

"Fuck. No, it isn't. I don't have a birthday."

"I'll ask Josu when it is if you don't tell me."

"I guess you'll just have to ask Josu then."

"Oh, don't be that way, come on now, pretty girl."

"No parties, okay? I hate being around people."

"No parties, I promise."

"My birthday October 17th. When is yours?"

"I'll be eighteen on March 10th. I'm also pretty sure in the US you have a custodial guardian until eighteen."

"Fabulous! It doesn't matter, really. He's always taken care of me. I can't count how many times Josu has forged our father's signature on legal documents…"

"What are your parent's names?"

"My mother's name is Aline. My father's name is Auguste."

"Why is that Josu is the only one that has a Portuguese name?"

"Because my parents are dumb."

"Fair enough."

"What was your mom's name? What about your father?"

"My mother's name was Rose. My father's name was Jeremiah."

"But you said he died before you were born?"

"Yes. My mother was seven and half months pregnant with me when my father died. She never married again. He was her soulmate."

"That's how I feel about Josu and Kaalia, I can't imagine them without each other now. She's fell into our lives so naturally and now that's just the way it is. My parents on the other hand, I've never seen them so much as hold hands outside of a public place. I know my father has many, many mistresses and I'm sure my mother has men and women alike. I wouldn't be surprised if I had siblings come out of the woodwork. I don't want that life, though. I promised myself I'd never marry someone who didn't love me. If I'm not in love, I won't marry."

"Isn't marriage about love?"

"Marriage is more about money now, Jace. It's just an institution so people can bind themselves and their assets together."

"I don't think so. At least it isn't to me."

Jace parks the Jeep in a small patch of grass. There are trees still in bloom and there is a small brook, just barely ten inches deep. The water collects in a small spring at one end of the creek and it flows into a small wooded area that is shaded.

"It's beautiful."

"I think so, too. I was driving the other day, just driving to try to get my mind off of everything and I found it. I knew I wanted to show you as soon as I saw it, but I wanted to keep it a secret until I could really show you. Let me grab the cooler and the picnic basket."

He is so thoughtful. How does he do this? How is it that he can make me at loss for words with just a few simple sentences and a selfless gesture? He comes back and spreads the blanket out and puts the cooler down.

Before he can move anything, I sit down on his lap and hug his body tight to mine. He kisses my neck a couple times but pulls back.

"You're perfect, Jace. How is it that you can keep taking my breath away?"

"The same thing happens every time I look at you," he says simply. "Nutella and apples, right?"

I smile, of course he remembered. Of course he gets everything right.

"I do have a favor to ask of you."

"Hmm?"

"Can I take a few pictures of you?"

He pulls out a camera, and not just any camera, a DSLR that looks like has about a million knobs.

"Photographer?"

"Amateur. But yes. I haven't really taken pictures of anything since Kal's senior pictures and the shoot with his dog, Buckshot."

"What happened to the dog?"

"He was gone when I got back from the hospital. I don't know what Tezzeret did with him. I wish we still had him, you would have absolutely loved him."

"I don't think I like this man very much, Jace."

"That makes two of us. I'm keeping you away from him for the next forever if I can."

I pull off my shoes and wiggle my toes in the summer grass. It might not be the best idea, but I'm going to do it anyways. I'm out of practice and out of shape, but I know I can do it. Ten years of training, and no amount of cancer can stop me. I will my body to be limber and to move with me.

"Get your camera ready."

He does so, slightly puzzled. He only realizes what I'm doing when I take off into a run, he realizes it's too late to stop me.

Cartwheel, Backhand spring, and another cartwheel. Something so basic that I can even pull it off in my weakened state.

"Holy shit, don't do that again, you scared the living shit out of me, holy fuck, are you okay?"

"Jace, I was a gymnast up until about three months ago. I could do that in my sleep with one arm tied behind my back."

"Liliana. Please don't scare me like that again, at least warn me next time!"

"Did you get a good shot?"

"Yes, but that's not the point…"

"It is the point, now kiss me…"

I grab the front of his shirt and pull him into me, the taste of peanut butter and banana still in his mouth. He kisses me back with the same needy, hungry kiss from earlier, but I can tell he's holding back, he's holding back something he wasn't earlier.

"I can taste your restraint, Jace."

"What does that even mean?"

"What are you holding back?"

"Nothing."

"Okay." I let the subject drop as I sink next to him on the picnic blanket. He braids a few late blooming wild daisies into my hair. He stands up and takes a few pictures before adjusting the lens and the way I'm facing. He lets me meander around the creek and the trees while he takes pictures.

"You're a natural, these shots are amazing, Lili. If you don't care, I'm going to put them up on my page."

"Of course I don't care…"

"I should probably ask Josu since you're underage."

"Shut up, my god."

He looks down at his phone and back up at me with a smile.

"For Instagram?"

I kiss him on the cheek as he snaps a photo of us for the social media outlet. He smiles at me again and looks back down at his phone.

"I just got a friend request from about four different people."

"Really, who?"

"Let me see, Avacyn Markov, Domri Rade, Griselbrand, and Mirko Vosk. Is his name really Griselbrand?"

"His name is Gris. Like Gray in English. His middle name is Edward and his last name is L'brand. He just pushes it all together because he thinks he's a special snowflake. Fucking hipster."

"Do you not like the guy?"

"No, it's not that. He's okay. He and Avy really like each other. He's just so, so… pretentious."

"Awesome, I doubt your French friends are going to like a backwoods boy from North Carolina."

"Who gives a fuck, I like my backwoods boy from North Carolina, and they can either like it or not, you're staying in my life. Wow, that sounded really crazy. I need to stop."

"I like it, even if it did sound crazy."

"Don't expect Domri to like you very much."

"Why?"

"Because he and I, well, we almost dated. Then I got diagnosed and had to move. I broke off the relationship but we've stayed friends, because we're all from that tight knit money circle in Montreal. He's not really been talking to me much since I've been hanging out with you."

"We're fine as long as he realizes that we're in a relationship and respects that."

"He may not even be there, Jace. I don't know."

Kaalia is upstairs resting when we get there. Josu is cooking and has a glass of wine next to him, which I think about swiping, He smiles when he sees Jace and I come through the door, visibly happy.

"You look like you feel well, Lili."

"She nearly scared me half to death today, Josu."

"Tattletell! God!"

"What did she do?" Josu gives me a long, even look, as if he's mentally preparing the lecture I'm about to receive.

"She runs off into the freaking sunset while doing about thirty backflips without a warning." Josu, isn't surprised, however he looks mildly miffed.

"She's been in gymnastics since she was three, she knows how to do it, but she needs to be careful. Are you hearing me, hard head?"

"Ferme la bouche, mon frère. I'm going upstairs to introduce Jace to everyone."

"Tell Avy and everyone we said hello and that we miss them."

"I always do, don't I?"

"Are you staying for dinner, Jace?"

"If you don't mind!"

"When do we ever mind, Jace? Dear gods, boy."

We head upstairs to my room again, and I find myself thinking about the kiss from earlier. I look back to try to get a feel for what Jace is thinking, and I can't figure it out.

"Josu, I'm going to shut the door so I don't wake Kaalia."

"That's fine, Lili."

"You can sit in my computer chair and I'll sit in your lap if that's okay."

"That's fine. Lili?"

"Hmmm?"

"Kiss me. Please."

I cup the side of his face in my hand and kiss him softly on the lips. He hugs my hips into his body as the soft sounds of our lips meeting fills the room. I feel color rise to my cheeks when Jace hugs me tighter to him. The kisses are soft and sweet. I'm beginning to crave them. He places one of his hands on my thigh, which I am hyperaware of. My breath catches just as Jace ends the kiss.

"Thank you, love."

Just as we are pulling back, the computer begins to ring. I pick up the video on the call, and Avacyn, Gris, Domri, and Mirko are all sitting across the screen.

"Oh my gosh! You guys are ADORABLE!" Avacyn's voice is almost a screech. Gris just waves and Mirko smiles.

"Lili, that outfit is bomb!" Mirko says. "You look so cute! I knew you owned something other than Josu's hockey jerseys!"

"Not much else, but yes. Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Jace. Jace, that's Avacyn, her boyfriend, Gris, Mirko, my gay assistant, and Domri."

"Hey ya'll. " His face turns red because he thinks he sounds dumb. I think he sounds cute.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Well Mirko and I have been working on a project for our Consumer Science, Gris has been playing the guitar and Domri just got back from running."

"What about you guys, what have you two cuties been up to?" Avacyn says.

"Um, well, Jace took my pictures today for fun, and we found a really nice place to have a picnic when the weather is good."

"Isn't it still in the eighties down there?"

"Yes, it's so hot!" I wrap my arms around Jace's neck as Domri scoffs at him, and at me.

"Don't you two think you're moving a little fast? You don't even know her."

Jace's face gets a little red and his nostrils flare.

"I'm getting to know her, and she wants me here, and that's all that really matters."

Domri switches over to French, therefore addressing me only. I find this extremely disrespectful and distrustful, and Domri sees it on my face. However, I don't think he cares very much.

"Has Josu lost his mind, then? It took me nearly five years for him to let me take you out on a date."

"But we were never together, Domri, plus Jace and Josu, they kind of clicked."

"Anyways," Avacyn changes the subject, "Can I see these pictures that you guys are talking about?"

"Of course," Jace says. "They are absolutely beautiful. I'll put them up on my page tonight."

"Lili?"

"Yes, Avy?"

"Where is Kaalia? I haven't heard from her in a couple days."

"She's feeling sick. Josu had to come pick her up at work this morning. She's upstairs resting, I'll tell her to text you when she wakes if you want me to."

"Thank you boo!"

The Skype call winds down fast after that. We chat and shoot the shit, but Josu calls us down for dinner, so we wash up and tell everyone bye. I think that Avacyn really likes Jace and will be talking about it tonight. Mirko loves anyone who makes me happy, it's just Domri. I knew it would be like this.

"How did you like everyone, Jace?"

"Everyone was great, I just don't think that the one guy cares for me all that much."

"He doesn't really like Americans, or English speakers, to be honest. Plus everything else.."

"I would be jealous too. You're worth being jealous of. You're amazing."

"I'm not."

"You don't see yourself clearly at all, do you, Liliana?"

"I see myself clearer than most. But I'm going to lose everything that makes me envy worthy."

"Are you talking about your hair, and the fact that you will lose weight?"

I nod, silently. I can't let Osu hear this conversation, he will have my hide on a silver platter. I look down, studying my feet intently.

"I thought I told you the other day that I was dating your heart, and not your hair. Yes, you are beautiful. You're fucking hot, Liliana! Your hair, yes, I love it. But it'll grow back. You're going to lose weight. Because you're fighting a battle. A long, hard battle. Find joy from the journey, Liliana. Because this isn't going to be easy, it's just going to be worth it. Don't let anyone tell you anything else."

"Jace. I don't know what to say."

"Then don't."

He kisses me and I feel that feeling again, that feeling that creeps up on me. What's happening to me? I wish I could freeze this moment and live in it- because it's the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, even if I was standing in the gates of hell.

_And little did we know, that hell was only beginning.._


	11. Love is an Open Door

_**Here you go, guys. We've made some progress on Sculpted Shadows and Ravnica High, so we're hoping for a chapter late this week. Enjoy this, guys! **_

_**Please go check out our MTG prompt/fanfiction blog on tumblr, talesfromthemultiverse. We have a new prompt posted and would love, love, love some fresh blood. (:**_

_**(Jace Beleren) **_

Liliana fell asleep on my lap while we were watching a movie tonight, and it's barely ten PM. She's taken her first treatment for the week, and she's exhausted and nauseated. We both have work we need to catch up on, but I couldn't bear to look at her exhausted face any longer, so I rubbed her hair until she fell asleep in my lap. Josu let me carry her to her room and tuck her in, and she barely stirred through it all. I kissed her sweet, sleepy lips and left her to her dreams. I know mine will be of her tonight.

My stomach is in knots the whole way home. I can't stop thinking about her, and the fact that she fell asleep in my lap. She's obviously comfortable with me and that makes me happy. Unfortunately, Tezzeret is sitting at the kitchen table when I come in.

"It's a school night, boy."

"I'm aware. I was doing homework."

"I didn't see your car at the library."

"Because we took hers."

I turn to walk out of the kitchen, because I'm done with this conversation. Seven months till I can get an apartment. Seven months.

"I thought I told you not to hang around with a girl I haven't met."

"I thought I told you I really didn't give two shits what you thought."

"Be that as it may, boy, I'm still your authority and you will respect me."

"Respect is a two way street, old man. You shouldn't have tried to beat up on my mom and nearly got my dad arrested. I'm only here because I'm forced to be, and the only reason you let me be here is because of the check you get every month."

"You do not understand the people that your father was working for. I cared for your mother, Jace."

"Really? Because if you truly cared for her, you wouldn't have done what you did. My mom had PTSD because of what you did. You thought that that was _funny? _My mom trusted you! And you were no better than your father, her father. The apple didn't fall far from the tree. My dad was the best thing to ever happen to my mom, because she got away from _you! _You never cared for her!"

Tezzeret crosses the kitchen and grabs my face, turning it to face him after I nearly made it up the stairs.

"Your father was nothing but a pig- and that apple didn't fall far from the tree."

"My father helped people! The only thing our family has ever done is take what isn't rightfully ours and bend it to fit the family bill!

I push his arm down, resisting the urge to spit in his face.

_Never touch me again. _Because I will make you regret it, you disgusting fuck."

Tezzeret's flesh and blood hand collides with the side of my face. The sting of it is a huge shock. Before I can think of anything else to do, I walk away. I don't need to be pinned for assault.

_This conversation is over. _

"Jace! Get back here! I'm not through talking to you, boy!"

I grab my keys and walk out of the door, not speaking to him, not turning around. I'm not about to stay here, because if he comes up to my room, I will kick his ass. I was the only child of a single mom and I was a string bean, too smart for my own good, and had a low bullshit tolerance. School was- and still is- not an easy place for me to be.

It's nearly eleven. The only place that is still going to be open is the diner. I could go sit with Kallist for a few minutes, but I'm scared that that will only exacerbate the problem with Tezzeret. It's Tezzeret's fault that Kal isn't here anymore, and the thought of sitting by his grave while I'm shaking with anger at our uncle probably isn't the best idea. I clear my throat and blink back the tears that are stinging in my eyes. Kallist would punch the fuck out of me if he saw me crying over him.

I pull into the diner and check my face in the mirror. It's going to swell, and I'm going to have a fucking black eye.

Awesome.

I check my phone for any texts, completely empty. At least Liliana is still sleeping. I don't know what I'm going to tell her about this in the morning. I could go with the old "I ran into the door" lie. I don't want to lie to her. But she doesn't need any more on her plate than she already has. She has another treatment this week and we've got three tests this week.

I pull open the door of the diner and Teysa' smile greets me, but it is soon changed to an expression of concern.

"What happened to your face?"

"Nothing, Teysa. Just an accident."

"Butter, bacon and cheese grits with chocolate milk, Jace?"

"Unless you've got that bottle of rum in the back that we hid in the back, Teysa."

"Haha, Dad would kill us if he knew about that."

"That was a fun night, though."

"It was. I miss Kallist."

"Which part of Kallist do you miss, Teysa?"

"All of him, asshole."

"It's a shame that you two never came to be, it really is. I'm sorry I haven't checked on you. I've just been so…."

"I understand, Jace. You were closer to him than any of us. I'm glad Liliana makes you happy, though."

"You're the only one, Gideon and Ral…"

"Gideon and Ral will come around, eventually. But you have to let them."

"That's not exactly fair.."

"Jace, look…" the door dings and Teysa trails off. She goes to help whoever's at the door, and because of habit, I turn too. I heave a heavy sigh. Shit. Guess I'm going to have lie sooner than I thought.

"Jace?" Josu's voice rings out across the diner.

"Hey, bro. What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing, you have school tomorrow, and my god, What the hell happened to your face?" The "h" sound sounds so foreign when it comes from his mouth.

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine."

Teysa sits my bowl of grits in front of me and asks Josu if he wants the same omelet he always gets. He nods and sits across from me in the booth.

"What on earth is _that_, Jace?"

"Grits."

"Well, it looks disgusting. What happened to your face?"

"I'm fine, Josu. Nothing."

"You were fine when you left my house. So it had to happen between you leaving and getting here, and judging by the fact that you haven't wrecked your Jeep, something else has happened."

"I ran into the door at home."

"Yeah, okay, so why didn't you stay home and ice it?"

"Isn't Kaalia sick? Is she feeling better?"

"Jace."

"Josu."

I take a bite of the grits and he keeps staring at me with his arms crossed. He's trying to give me that same look he gives Liliana when she gives him a hard time. It's quite the scary expression, but I know how to hold my own.

"Don't lie, Jace. I'm not stupid."

"Nothing, please, just drop it. Everything is fine. I'm fine."

"Judging by the way your hand is shaking, you're not fine. You're not even close to fine. Tell me what happened, and look…. I won't tell Liliana if you don't want me to. I understand."

I swallow the knot in my throat. I heave a breath as Josu continues.

"Because I understand shielding the person you care for, especially when they have a lot on their plate."

"And you don't have a lot on your plate, Josu? You don't need something else to worry about. Just worry about Liliana, please."

"I'm a grown man, Jace. I can handle it. And trust me, I do worry about her. Every single day, Jace."

"Josu, it's just... family stuff."

"If anyone understands family, it's my sister and I, Jace. Blood doesn't always make you family."

"Where I come from, it does."

"Blood doesn't mean shit, Jace."

That's the first time I've ever heard Josu curse. He's such a respectful man and such a good person. Should I tell him?

"Look, don't think I can't take care of myself."

"Jace, I don't. You obviously do."

"I don't want to worry her, she has so much to worry about already.." I trail off, looking at Josu.

"She's strong, Jace. Don't underestimate her."

"I don't know, I just want to be the reason she smiles, not the reason she worries, or is sad."

"You are, Jace. She smiles when she talks to you, she's always checking her phone, even when she's sick, she's always talking about _Jace_ and Jace's smile, Jace is so funny, Jace…"

I can't help but smile at that as Josu's eyes roll. He takes a drink of his soda and nods his head.

"You two remind me of Kaalia and I when we first got together."

"Look, Josu. I went home from your house and my uncle was sitting at the kitchen table. I told him that I had been doing homework with Liliana, which was not a lie. He said that I wasn't allowed to hang out with Liliana until he had met her, and I told him it wasn't going to happen. Things got into a yelling match and he said something about my mother and how my father was a swine. I went up the stairs and he grabbed my face, and I walked away, but he continued on, until he slapped me. I walked out before I kicked his ass. And that's the whole story."

Josu's nose flares and he grips his soda in his hand harder than before.

"Do you want me to handle it? Because I will go handle it right now."

"No, Josu. It's not your place. That's why I don't bring Liliana over."

"Thank you for that, Jace. I don't want her over there."

"Me either, because if he ever put his hands on her then I think we'd probably both be in jail."

"I will kill him if he ever lays his hand on my sister, Jace. I will kill anyone that touches my sister or my wife in a way that is not kind. You're a good kid, Jace. And if you need to stay over, you can. Our door is open."

"Thank you, Josu. Thank you for giving me a chance to love her. No one has ever really wanted to give me the chance before."

"You're a good kid, Jace. Don't let anyone tell you different. I have to get home- do you want to come? I have clothes that you can wear if you need to."

"I'm going to go home tonight, please don't tell her. I'll tell her tomorrow."

"I told you I wouldn't, but she deserves to know, Jace."

"I know she does. Josu?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you. Again. For giving me the chance."

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

My phone dings just as I'm walking out the door the next morning. I look at it and smile when I see it's Liliana.

_Good morning, handsome. I'm already at school, waiting for you in the courtyard. I brought breakfast. _

_Mmmm, what?_

_You'll see when you get here. _

_Canadian bacon?_

_Racist. _

_No, no. I'm getting in the car now. I'll see you in a few minutes, princess. _

She sends me back the emoji with a crown on it and a kissy face. I laugh as I make the drive to school, and we're nearly thirty minutes early. She's sitting on the swing in the courtyard, waiting for me.

I walk over to her and she sees my face. She rushes up to me and puts her hand on the sore part, kissing it.

"Jace! What happened to your face?"

"I'll tell you after school, bunny. I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Jace? What happened? Seriously!"

"Just wait, okay."

I kiss her on the forehead and we walk back toward the swing. She's holding a plate full of cinnamon rolls with cream cheese icing on them.

"I made them this morning. I woke up around five and couldn't go back to sleep, so I made some homemade cinnamon rolls and icing."

"Like homemade _homemade? _You made the dough and everything?"

"Yes sir, I did," she says, smiling proudly.

"Oh, now I can't wait to try them."

"They are still warm, so hurry."

I take a bite of the warm cinnamon roll, and it falls apart in my mouth. It is so, so good. Liliana reaches over and wipes the icing off the side of my face.

"Eat, Liliana."

"I've already ate one, I don't want to overstuff myself." She lays her head down on my shoulder and nuzzles my neck.

"Sweet girl."

"Do you have to work today? I know I asked you last night but I don't really remember what you said, I was super sleepy from the nausea medicine."

"No, just Thursday through Saturday. Even then, I'm not getting a whole bunch of hours. My boss, Mister Karlov, knows that I've been sort of down lately. When he saw us, he said I needed to spend time with you, because all I ever did was work."

"I'm glad you think I'm that special," she says with a serene smile on her face.

I eat the rest of the cinnamon rolls she brought, trying to share with her. She told me the only way she'd eat is was if she could eat was if I fed it to her, so I did. She got the giggles before the end of it, though. I take the plate to the trashcan and we walk in together. It's ten minutes until the bell. We lean on the lockers outside Heliod's classroom and wait on him to come in.

"Are you coming to my house today?"

"If you want me to, lovely."

"Of course I want you to!" She sticks her tongue out at me, so I pull on the end a bit. She laughs and tries to bite me, unsuccessfully. I pull her into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. I don't want to tell her what happened, but she's not going to just drop it. I wouldn't, if the roles were reversed. I'm also glad that Josu made good on his promise.

I walk Liliana to her seat and put her bag down. She brushes the side of my face and looks at me with a frown.

"I wish you'd tell me what happened, Jace.."

"It's not important."

"It is important!" Her voice has the slightest edge of anger to it. She exhales and folds her arms, turning her attention to the front. I close my eyes and sigh, making my way to my seat. I really don't want to fight with her.

_I will tell you as soon as we're done with school today, okay? Don't be angry. I just don't want you to worry. _

_Do you not trust me? I feel like I haven't given you a reason not to trust me. And if this goes back to me having cancer and that worries you too much to tell me, then we need to have a whole different talk. _

_Liliana, that is not fair and you know it. Of course I'm going to worry about you. I don't see you as weak, if that's what you mean. Excuse me for caring about the three tests and the two treatments you have this week. Neither one of us have been exactly forthcoming about our pasts, my love. _

I see her open up the email and make a face of distaste. However, she reads down and sighs, seeing the point that I made. She turns toward me as Heliod drones on and on, with a sad look in her eyes.

_You're right. I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. _

_I will, just not right this second, okay? _

_Okay. _

The rest of the school day passes without any drama. We walk out toward the parking lot, and I unlock the Jeep and put my junk in it. I parked beside her this morning, so she leans against her car and waits on me.

"Are we going to do this here, or would you rather go somewhere where it's not nearly ninety degrees?"

"Fair enough. Do you want to just head on to the house? No one's there right now, so we can talk without being interrupted."

"Josu already knows, so that doesn't matter, much."

"What the hell, Jace? You told my brother before you told me? I'm your girlfriend!"

She crosses her arms, moodily, as she fixes her seat. I probably should have just kept quiet about Josu knowing until I could finish the story.

"It'll make more sense once I tell you what happened."

In about six minutes, we're both pulling into to Liliana's driveway. She still looks offended as I open the car door for her. We sit down on the couch and I heave a heavy breath. Here we go.

"So after you fell asleep last night, I left to go home, obviously."

"Right."

"So I get there, and my uncle is sitting at the kitchen table. He never does that, he's always down in his workshop. I don't know if he'd been drinking or if he was in one of his moods, but there he was. He asked me where I'd been and I said I'd been doing homework with you."

"Okay, so, that's not a lie, what happened next?"

"He goes off on this tangent of how I'm not allowed to hang out with you or be with you until he's met you, and I tell him that isn't going to happen. I go to start making my way up the stairs when he says some really horrible things about my father, and I was just going to turn the other cheek, but he started in on my mom, just trying to get under my skin. He grabbed my face as I was walking up the stairs, and I was just going to let it go. He kept talking so I said that he was disgusting and that he revolted me, some really shitty stuff. He slapped me and I walked out before I kicked his ass…"

"Oh, my god, Jace! You can't go back over there. No, no, no, I'll talk to Josu, you can't do that."

Tears are welling up in her eyes and she looks angry and brokenhearted. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her head, finishing the story.

"I went to the diner last night, Josu came in. We sat down and had a chat. That's why Josu already knows. I made him promise not to tell you, so don't be mad at him. It's my fault. I went on home, it's not y'all's responsibility to take care of me. I'll be fine until I can get an apartment in March."

"It's your uncle's fault! You can't go back over there!"

"Lili, please. It's fine. It won't happen again, because I'm not putting myself in the situation where it can happen again. So please stop worrying."

"Not likely, Jace."

She reaches and gingerly touches the bruised side of my face, rubbing her thumb across the underside of my eye.

"There is something you can do, you know, if you want to make me feel better?"

"What?" She says with her usual smile.

"Kiss me…"

"Mhmmm…"

"I mean, I've wanted to all day…"

We lean in together and our lips meet. The fire that was smoldering in my chest has a fresh spark when I feel her arms wrap around my neck. She slides into my lap as I wrap my arms tightly around her waist. I have no intentions of breaking this kiss any time soon. In this moment, nothing matters. Not Tezzeret, not cancer, not anything.

I nip playfully at her bottom lip, causing her to scoot closer to me. I move my hands from her hips to the back of her neck, braiding my hands in her hair. She smiles into the kiss as I playfully run my fingers through it. However, I wish I would have never done that.

I pull back with a smile, and Liliana's hair, not a strand, not a part, but every part I had touched has come out in my hand.

She sees it, and tears begin to well up in her eyes. I wrap my arms protectively around her and lay her head on my shoulder as the tears come.

"It's okay, my love. It'll grow back. We knew this was going to happen, remember? Shh…"

I can't deal with this feeling of powerlessness. There's nothing I can do to help her, to prevent this from happening.

"J-j-j-ace,"

"I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. Shh, love."

"My hair…"

"I know, baby. I know. You're going to be okay. That's a sign that the treatment is working, remember? It means you're getting better."

Liliana continues to cry on my shoulder as I pat her back lovingly. The sobs wracking her body are slicing my soul into pieces. I don't know what to do, what to say. The lock turns in the door, which can only mean that Josu is home. I hope he's not angry at her for sitting on my lap. He sees the scene and is puzzled.

"What on earth is going on, you two?"

Josu sees the matted clump of black hair on the cherry floor, I see his expression change and eyes clothes. Josu is blinking back tears, but Liliana doesn't see. Her head is still buried in my shoulder. She sits up and gets on the middle seat on the couch, in between her brother and I.

"I'm sorry, Jace, that wasn't fair to you, especially with what you've been through the past few days. I'm sorry for cancer ruining everything…"

"You didn't ruin anything, and don't apologize to me. It's not your fault. Don't ever say it's your fault. You didn't ask for this.."

"That doesn't matter, you deserve someone young and whole that can keep up with you. I don't want my cancer to be your curse!"

"No offense, but shut up. Seriously. You're not a curse, and you are young. No one is whole, Liliana. You can either ignore the baggage or help the person unpack, and you know which one I'm doing."

Josu's face is astonished. He smiles the smallest smile and claps me on the shoulder. At least I have his and Kaalia's approval. It would be far harder if I didn't. I hear a car park in the driveway and not soon after, Kaalia comes in. We're all sitting there, just looking at the hair that's in the floor. If I were Liliana, it would make me uncomfortable. She clears her throat.

"There's no point in denying the inevitable, guys. And you three are the people I want to be around when it happens.."

"What?" Josu's voice is shaking.

"I guess I'm going to get one of those fairy cuts."

Kaalia laughs and Liliana looks at her with an even smile.

"It's a pixie cut, love."

It's not long before we're all standing in the kitchen, Kaalia armed with a pair of scissors. Liliana watches her hair fall and holds my hand tight.

"You know, if you wanna go matchy matchy, then I'll shave my head."

"Don't you dare, your hair is _mine _and you will not cut it."

"Well, yes ma'mm."

Josu and Kaalia laugh at us, Josu brushing the hairs off of Liliana's back. In the end, she ends up with a short haircut that highlights her cheekbones. On some people, it might look harsh, but it suits her. I really like it.

We all end up gathered around the table, laughing and smiling, in the end. My mind goes back to what Josu said at the diner. Maybe family isn't about blood, after all. Because as I sit there, passing croissants to my smiling girlfriend, who had been in pieces an hour earlier, I smile. Because I'm more at home here than I've ever been with Tezzeret. I think of one of the last things that my mother ever told me, because right now, it's more relevant than it ever has been.

Things will be okay, if you let love in.


	12. Friends

**Here's chapter twelve, guys. It's shorter than usual, but it took an unexpected turn and I just went with it. Enjoy! Ravnica High will be updated tomorrow and Sculpted Shadows by the beginning of next week. **

**(Jace Beleren) **

"I like your face, princess."

I put my hands on either side of Liliana's face and she makes a fish face while we play footsies in the chair as the chemo makes its way into her veins. I've been careful not to touch her hair, lest I accidently pull it out again. I felt terrible for what happened, even though I knew it couldn't be stopped. The two days between the treatments have passed without major incident. I'm thinking about inviting Josu fishing with me this Saturday, since Kaalia and Liliana apparently have a girl thing to do this weekend.

I almost feel guilty for not talking to Gideon. Almost. The last time we hung out still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I know that I need to talk to them, but they honestly were never _my _friends. If they were actually friends, they wouldn't give me hell for dating someone. My phone dings in my pocket, and low and behold, it's Gideon. I guess that's what I get for thinking.

_Hey bro, can I ask you a favor?_

_What?_

_I'm going to be at the diner in like an hour with a friend. They have a brother that was recently diagnosed with cancer and I want you to talk to them. _

_Why?_

_Because. Just help me out? Kal would have done it. _

That fucker. Yeah, Kallist would have done it. But I'm not Kallist. Kallist was genuinely a good person, and well, I'm not. He doesn't care about my person with cancer, so why should I leave her side to go help him out? I sigh.

"What?" Lili says with a smile and a kiss on the cheek.

I hand her my phone and she reads through the conversation. I know she's going to tell me to go. I heave another sigh.

"You should go, Jace. Just go talk to them."

Called it.

"But why? He doesn't care about how he makes either one of us feel, and he's using me right now to make his person feel better."

"Because he's your friend. Please go. For me? I'll be here when you get back with super kisses."

"Are you trying to bribe me with the promise of kisses and cuddles?"

"And cookies."

"Well you just upped the ante, didn't you, sweetheart."

"Go, Jace. Seriously."

"I don't want to. Seriously."

"I don't want to be here, but yet here I sit."

"Not fair. You're getting better. Nothing about hanging out with Gideon is going to make me better."

"Go, we still have three hours here. And I can call Kaalia if I need to."

"Yeah, okay. No."

"Jace."

"Lili."

"Don't make me get Jolene to throw you out, I will."

"Your medicine must be talking right now, little lady."

She gives me a venomous look which I probably deserved, but I don't want to go. I'm going to end up going just because she asked me to, though. Kallist would have made fun of me and called me pussy whipped, but it's whatever. It is what it is.

"You're lucky I like you."

"I know."

She smiles at me with the sweetest expression on her face and I can't help but kiss her. The metallic taste is the chemo. I know that now. Her lips are so soft and I hug her tight to me. I haven't got to really kiss her in a few days, Josu's been around or she hasn't been feeling well, and I need the type of kiss from a couple weeks ago again. The door to the room creaks open. Guess I'm not kissing her like I want to here, either. Should've figured that. Her expression is one of intense disappointment as well. She huffs a moody breath as her sister in law walks in the room, mask on.

"I'm just checking on you, sweetie, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Kaalia. You look pale."

"I still haven't gotten over what I had last week. That's what the mask is for. The last thing you need is a stomach bug."

"I agree with that- Jace, now you have no reason not to go, I'm not alone."

"I don't want to go."

"Go hang out with Gideon! Please?"

"I told you I would- I think. Thanks for kicking me out, Liliana."

"You're welcome, have fun!"

She gets up and walks me over to the door, IV pole in tow. I wrap my arms around her gingerly, and she pulls me in as close as we can get.

"Be happy, you get out of the prison cell early."

"I'd rather be here with you than anywhere with Gideon, Liliana."

"I'd rather be out by the creek with you right now. But in all serious, but you need to try to get over whatever he did."

I tip her head up and kiss her slowly, trying to prolong the moment of departure as long as I can, but she catches on.

"I'll kiss you when you get back, my love. Text me."

I make one last ditch effort, a pathetic face before she pushes me out of the door. I check my phone and Gideon says that they're there and that I need to hurry up. I fucking just, ugh. Just ugh.

I make it to the diner, looking for Gideon's truck. It's not here. What the hell? I should bail. Maybe he rode with the friend. I walk in, wave at Teysa, and sit down in my usual booth. I look around for any sign of Gideon, and I come up empty. The diner doorbell dings and I turn my head, and it's just some random girl.

However, this girl walks over to the table and addresses me.

"Are you Jace Beleren?"

"Yes, why?"

"Oh, good." She takes the seat opposite me.

"Where's Gideon?"

"Um, why would Gideon be here?"

"Because he told me that I would be talking to his friend who has a brother that was recently diagnosed with cancer? Are you that friend?"

"What? No! This was supposed to be a blind date!"

"_What?" _

"He told me that I'd be meeting his friend Jace for a blind date. He said you'd know that."

"Um, miss, I'm sorry, but this isn't a blind date. I'm in a relationship. I have a girlfriend."

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, both of us were lured here under false pretenses. I'm sorry."

"Why would he do that to you if you have a girlfriend, though?"

"My girlfriend has cancer- and Gideon seems real hung up on that fact. That's why he used that bullshit story. Look, tell Teysa if you want something to eat, because I hate that he did that to you."

My hands are shaking with anger. Why shouldn't I drag his sorry ass out by his stupid fucking hair and beat the shit out of him? Who the fuck does something like this?! Kallist sure wouldn't have.

"Look, I'm going to leave before some sort of rumor gets started. I'm sorry again, miss."

I walk out to the jeep and dial Gideon's number but I don't call it. I'm just going to drive back to Hopkins and tell Liliana what happened. I hope she's not angry with me, but she's definitely going to be angry at Gideon.

I need a fucking bowl. I'm still shaking with anger when I get to the hospital. I decide to take the steps up to the ninth floor, trying to cool down. When I get there, Josu is getting out of the elevator and sees the expression on my face.

"Jace? What on earth is wrong? Did you two get into a fight or something?"

"No, Josu. Just, I'm about to tell Lili so just listen then."

"She really doesn't need to be.. but she's going to see it on your face. Nevermind."

Josu goes in to the room where his wife and sister are, I follow behind him. Liliana looks puzzled.

"Jace? It's barely been forty minutes. Is everything okay? What happened?"

Josu, Kaalia, and Liliana all look at me expectantly, I hate being put on the spot like this. Another thing I'm going cuss Jura out for tomorrow. He'll be fucking lucky if I don't knock him into next week.

"So you know the whole thing about how his friend had a brother who got diagnosed with cancer or whatever?"

"Yes, what about it?"

"I get there, Gideon's truck isn't there. I'm like okay, maybe they rode together. I get there and he's nowhere to be seen. A few minutes pass and a girl walks into the diner. She comes over to the table and asks me if I'm Jace Beleren, and I'm like yes. She sits down, I ask her where Gideon is. She looks puzzled and asks me why Gideon would be there. _Gideon told this girl that it was a fucking blind date._"

Liliana's heart rate machine picks up, Josu just looks stunned that someone would do this to his baby sister. Liliana's eyes get very watery and I move across the room to go sit with her.

"Hey, princess. It's okay."

I wrap my arms around her, kissing the top of her head. Jura made her cry, and for that, he will fucking pay. This is not okay-ever. He and Ral have done shitty things, but this takes the damn cake.

"What the hell? Why?"

"Liliana, don't get yourself worked up over this," Josu says. "You see what happened. Yes, it was a very mean thing to do on his part. But Jace came right back to you, and that says he wants to be here. That's what matters."

XxXxXxXxXxX

When I pick Liliana up for school in the morning, she's taken special care to make sure every hair on her head is in place. She's wearing a black one shoulder shirt with a red skirt and black pumps, and she has on bright red lipstick.

"Is there a reason you have on fuck-me heels today?"

"No, I just feel half way decent today and the Louboutins need to breathe. See something you like?"

"Oh, yes, I'm going to have to watch myself today, because I know I'm going to be staring."

"You can look and touch, handsome."

"I might just have to take you up on that, because those shoes…"

"Maybe this lipstick was a bad idea after all.."

"Um , no, why would you say that?"

"Because I want to mess it up."

"You didn't bring it with you?"

"Maybe I did.."

"Then why don't we get down to messing that beautiful lipstick up…"

"You know, Josu's not home…"

"Liliana, we can't skip school…"

"So if I asked you to make love to me right now, you wouldn't?"

I groan.

"No, Lili. I wouldn't. Because I want to love your heart before I love your body."

"Jace.. I.. you leave me speechless."

"Only because you do the same to me."

I pull the Jeep out of her driveway as she smiles out the window.

"Were you propositioning me, Miss Vess?"

"No, I was just honestly curious. I just wanted to know."

"It's not that I don't find you sexually appealing at all, because _goddamn_, but no. You're more to me than that. Sex isn't something I take lightly. You and everything about you fascinates me, Liliana. I don't know what it is."

"I'm addicted to everything about you, Jace Beleren. Your smile, your eyes, your accent, everything down to your smell. I got so jealous yesterday, because I want you to be _mine_. When I heard what Gideon did, my eyes turned from blue to green. The fact that some other girl thought that she could date you upset me. Because I'm addicted to you. And I want you to be mine."

"I am yours, Liliana. I don't want to be anything but yours."

"You promise?"

I pull the Jeep into the parking lot and smile at Liliana. I lean across the console and put my hand on the side of her face, making her look me in the eyes.

"I promise."

"You can mess my lipstick up now, if you want."


	13. Past, Present, Future

_**If anyone ships SorinxAvacyn or even if you don't, check out **_Breaking The Bonds_**by chosenofmarkov . She's super nice and the writers of this story love her to pieces. Plus, it's super well written and takes place on Innistrad! What more reason do you need! **_

_**The chapter of Sculpted Shadows is over half way done and I'm going ahead and starting the next chapter tomorrow. In the mean time, Enjoy **_Let Me Down Easy_**!**_

_**I try to respond to all reviews but I've been sick lately. I have read them all and I appreciate the feedback so much. I've got a lot planned for this story, but if you wanna I will try super, super hard to break a habit. But old habits die hard. Anyways, enjoy! **_

_**(Liliana Vess) **_

"Kiss me again," I breathe, "please."

"We've got like ten minutes until school starts, princess."

"Hmph."

"Oh, don't pout."

He tips my head up and places my lips to his again as I braid my hands in his hair, pulling him close to me. His mouth tastes like cherry PopTarts, which is surprisingly sexy.

"Josu's working late today, no treatment, Kaalia is working a double. They both already said it was cool if you came over and watched a movie or something today."

"They trust us. And I'm not about to fuck that up."

"Yet." I smile a maniacal grin at my boyfriend, looking in the mirror and fixing my lipstick.

"Ever. Have you eaten this morning? What about your morning meds?"

"I ate a bowl of oatmeal and yes, I have taken my morning meds."

"Good. Let me get you door so we aren't late to the douches class."

I grab my purse and backpack out of the Jeep as Jace opens my door. I lean over and kiss him on the cheek, leaving lip prints on his cheek.

"I've gotta get a picture for Instagram, my love."

"Go ahead. And send it to me so I can put it in your album."

"I have an album?"

"Have you not been on Facebook or my website lately?"

"I've been dead to the world lately, I haven't been on the internet since we Skyped the other day."

"Ah. Yes. Kiss me again."

I do so and bite his lower lip which causes him to moan, but I pull back before anything else can happen.

"Mmm, sweet girl."

XxXxXxXxX

I walk over to Gideon as calmly as I possibly can. I want to know what I've supposedly done to him, why he wants to take my boyfriend away from me.

I look him dead in the eyes.

"Why would you try to set up _my boyfriend _up with another girl?"

"Because I care about Jace and I don't want him falling in love with someone that's dying."

"I'm fighting as hard as I can so that Jace and I can be together. It's not your business what Jace does, who Jace dates."

"It really is, what's your name? Anyways, Kallist wouldn't have liked you either. He would never want Jace to be with someone that's sick."

Jace's voice is shaking with anger as he fights the urge to yell at Gideon.

"Kallist would want me to be happy, and she makes me happy. You'd do real fucking well to not mention him or my girlfriend again, you fucking prick."

"What the hell, Jace, what happened to bros before hoes?"

"I told you that she's special and important to me, that she She's not a fucking hoe; if you ever say that again I will fucking knock you into next week."

His twang is picking up as he gets angrier and angrier.

"If you so much as mention me or my girlfriend to one of your skanks, you'll regret it, Jura. She is my heart- and that will never change. She's perfect for me, and you will _never _do some shit like that again.

"What are you going to do? Your scrawny ass can't fucking fight. If you want to forsake your friends for some bitch that's dying, then do it. But Kallist would be disappointed in the way you fucking deserted us."

"Why would you call me a bitch? You don't even know me. I never asked for this, Jura! Jace makes me happy. Why is that such a bad thing?"

"Because you are dying, dumbass."

Jace pushes me behind him and gets barely one centimeter from his face. He grabs Gideon's shirt.

"She's not dying, she _will _get better and I'll be there through it all. And as for Kallist, you don't know him like I do. Kallist and I were best friends since birth. He would have been ecstatic that I found someone who cares for me regardless of everything that's happened to me. If you ever pull this type of shit again, I swear to fucking god Gideon, I will beat the living fuck out of you. If you call her another name, I swear to the gods, Gideon, that you'll be picking your goddamned teeth up out of the floor."

"Dude! I was trying to help you out!"

_Help me out? _By taking away the one thing, one person that cares enough about me to let me hold her while she's sick, even when it's hard for her to take the sensation? The only person who's ever been honest and straightforward with me since Kallist? The one person that cares for me as much as I care for her? She's my goddamned princess and you won't treat her as anything less."

"She's not a princess_**, **_Jace, she's someone with a terminal illness, no matter what you say. I'd do it again tomorrow."

"Shut the fuck up! What was I supposed to do if her brother had saw me?! You could have ruined everything for us!"

"Good."

"Josu would have believed you, Jace. I promise he would have."

"That's not the point, sweetheart. I just think it's really fucking sad that I'd rather hang out with my girlfriend's brother than the people who were supposed to be my fucking 'best friends'?"

"Yeah, I think it's sad too. At least you brought Emmara around to see us."

"Don't fucking go there, Jura. Emmara isn't fucking relevant to this conversation. Emmara turned out to be a lying, cheating bitch, but you liked her. I remember that. I saw the way you looked at her. It doesn't matter that Emmara has the heart of the fucking Grinch who Stole Christmas, just as long as she wasn't sick. I wouldn't be fucking surprised if you and her fucked, honestly. Because you've just now proven what kind of friend you are, Gideon. And let me tell you something. You wanna say somebody's attractive but not worth the maintenance? It's her."

"Who is Emmara?

"Oh, has Jace not told you yet? He dated a girl from Asheville for two years. Then she cheated on him about nine months after moving here, and instead of trying to mend fences he burnt the bridge with her."

"He shouldn't fucking have to 'mend fences' or whatever that is supposed to mean. He was the one that was wronged, not you or her. He acted as he saw fit, but you are nothing but a liar!"

"He obviously doesn't care enough about you to tell you that, sweetheart."

"Don't fucking call her sweetheart in any downgrading way. You and Emmara fucking deserve each other Gideon, I hope that she comes crawling back to you when she's done with her flavor of the week. But even then, she still wouldn't be enough punishment for you."

"Jace, look, why would you even say that?"

"Why would you try to set me up on a date knowing full well that I'm the fucking happiest I've been in a long time?"

"Oh, so you've replaced Kallist with Miss Terminal over here?"

"Don't you ever say that I replaced him with anyone. You'll get over his death, Jura, you'll move on with life. Kallist's death will haunt me until the day I die, motherfucker. You weren't in that car. You weren't driving. You didn't lose your brother. I did. Kallist and I have stuck together since we were born, and our family is so fucked up that all we really had was my mom and each other, so don't talk about things you have no clue about. Fuck off."

"How do you know I didn't look at him like a brother, Jace? What makes you so sure of that?"

"You looked at him as your wingman, don't lie. You know, for a fucking preacher's kid, you're really fucking selfish and self-righteous. But you don't get to make decisions for me. You don't get to tell me how to live my life. If I wanted your goddamned advice, I would have fucking asked for it."

"You know what, Jace, I'll go ahead and tell you. Yeah, Emmara and I fucked around while you two were still together. Cause she sure as hell wasn't getting any from you. You wanna talk about how much you care about people? You should have taken better care of her and maybe she wouldn't have been on my jock so much."

"Excuse me for being a fucking inexperienced virgin, I was fucking terrified, okay? But the fact that you slept with her shows me exactly what kind of people you and her both are."

"She had an itch that needed scratched and Jace wouldn't do it, so don't get your hopes up, chick, about any fucking orgasms anytime soon."

"It's not even about that," I say through gritted teeth, "It's about finding each other and learning how to love someone for who and what they are instead of in spite of."

"Listen here and listen close. We are no longer friends, Jura. Keep my girlfriend's name and diagnoses out of your mouth, keep my brother's name out of your vocabulary. If I so much as hear a peep from you about Liliana or Kallist, it won't matter that I'd be pinned with assault at this point because no one treats my princess like that."

"Whatever, dude. That must be some good pussy for you to forsake all of your friends."

"How many times do I have to tell your sorry ass that it isn't about her having sex with me, it's about her heart? And if you ever make the assumption that she's my booty call ever again, we're going to have an even bigger problem."

"Hope you don't fuck up, Miss Chemo. Because Jace doesn't forgive or forget. Even if you are his 'princess'," he looks at both Jace and I with a look of disgust, and I'm sure Jace and I are matching him tit for tat. "I hope you enjoy the little time you have left, because it's going to lead into Jace being hurt again, and this time he'll have no one to turn to. You say I'm selfish? Look at yourself."

"GET. THE. FUCK. AWAY. FROM. HER."

Gideon just looks at Jace and I and laughs, going to his locker.

"It is selfish of me, but I can't tell myself no. I care for you too much, Jace. Far, far too much. I'm falling in love with you."

"I am, too."

"Now come here and kiss me while no one is looking." I give him a peck on the cheek and he smiles.

"I like you. Did you know that?"

Jace grabs my hand and squeezes after saying that. I'm so glad that he didn't let Gideon run all over me, but I don't understand why he's so against us being together, and the stuff he said about Kallist was just over the line. The fact that Jace had his heartbroken already because he was cheated on by someone he cared for, by someone he thought was his friend, and then another man just upsets me. It's not fair that someone like Jace has to go through so much.

"Thank you, handsome. Thank you for choosing me everyday, and not giving up on me even when I want to give up on myself."

"That's what I'm here. Lean on me, let me be your rock, your steady place, your confidant and your friend and lover. You make me so happy, Liliana. That will never change. I can see us going all the way, my love. I can see us getting married and having a family, building a life. I don't want to scare you away but it's the truth."

"Me too, my love. Me too."

"Let's not let this prick ruin our day. We get alone time today, and snuggling, and cuddles.."

"I still owe you cuddles for going to 'talk to Gideon,' fucking asshole."

"I'm not keeping score, pretty girl. One of the worst things you can do in a relationship is build an arsenal against the other."

"I have a surprise for you today."

"Oooh, what?"

"I know you'll love it. It's something you love doing."

"I like lots of things, but I like being with you the most."

"You always know what to say, Jace."

"It's the truth."

Miss Eaves announces that our first French test will be on Friday and that there will be a objective, short answer, essay and an oral part. I roll my eyes. This class is waste of my time. I speak fluent French.

"Will you help me, sweet girl?"

"Of course, my love. We can sit down and I'll look at the vocabulary tonight.

I smile at him and bite my lip because I know he likes it. I can see him getting frustrated with me. I think it's quite funny, really.

I "Mmm, that face."

"You like, my handsome?"

"You know I do, bunny.."

I try to wiggle my nose like a rabbit would and he smiles.

"You are so damned cute."

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

"_Tu es mon couer, Jace." _

I don't know what you said, but it was sexy as hell_._ Your accent is so fucking… mmm."

"I think the same thing about you; I said you are my heart.."

"_Merci, _ beautiful."

I unlock the door and we both put our backpacks on the hooks and make our way to the couch.

"Look, Lili, before we watch a movie, or do whatever you want to do, we need to sit down and have a talk about what happened today, about what you heard. About what I should have already told you."

"Mon couer; I am not angry with you for not telling me. If you want to tell me, then fine. If you don't then that is okay too. Just tell me when you're ready, Jace. Remember I do have a surprise for you today."

"We need to talk, though."

"Then talk."

He sits on the couch and I sit on the cushion opposite him, and he grabs my hands, tangling our fingers together.

"Emmara is my exgirlfriend. She's the only person that I have been in a relationship with besides you. We started dating when we were fourteen and I broke up with her about three days before I turned sixteen. I thought I was in love with her, I thought we'd be together forever. We dated when I moved here after my mom died. Or she did, anyways. She would go on dates with people on the weekends I had to stay here, she cheated on me. I found out when we finally did have sex. She wasn't a virgin. I thought maybe something had happened to her, so I stuck it out. I caught her in a lie, and she came clean about everything, including Gideon. I didn't believe her because I thought Gideon was my friend. I thought on it, I was heartbroken. She told me that she found someone else and there was no hope for our relationship, so I broke it off."

"I'm so sorry, my love. So, so sorry. You deserve so much better than that."

"It's not a big deal. I should have told you sooner. I just didn't want to ruin what we have here with a bunch of drama from my past. I thought I was in love with her, I thought I'd danced this dance before. I thought that I'd been in love. My feelings were strong, but I was mistaken. My feelings for you are scary strong, Liliana. You deserved to know much sooner."

"You can trust the fact that I care you too damn much for that, Jace."

"I'm so glad, princess. So so glad. So what about you, if you don't mind me asking."

"Well, I went to a private school in Montréal. I didn't really get out much because I didn't like to talk to people. And Josu has never really let me date anyone because I wasn't sixteen yet, not until you. And then I get sick. I've kissed Domri a few times as well as another person from school named Jean. I've been on more dates with you than I have with both of them. And that's all, really."

"Sweetheart, you're a virgin?"

"Yes. I'm sexually inexperienced. And that scares me, especially now."

"Why does it scare you, my love?"

"I plan on being with you for as long as I possibly can, hopefully forever. Or at least as long as I live."

"Liliana.."

"Let me finish, please. I'm absolutely terrified that when we do start to mess around or have sex that I will be so inexperienced and I will frustrate you. Or not being able to you know, satisfy you."

"I will guide you through it the best that I can, Liliana. I'm not some sort of sex god. Everyone is nervous when it comes to sex, bunny. I just can't believe someone as beautiful as you are hasn't."

"I want to give it you, honestly. Not now, but whenever we're ready. Because I want to be with you."

"I'm never giving up on us."

"You couldn't get me to leave you, Jace. I want to make you fall in love with me."

"Trust me, sweetie. I'm falling. Hard. If I fall, could you let me down easy?"

"I promise you, Jace. I'll be right there beside you."

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

After we've eaten something and gotten settled, I look at Jace excitedly. I can't wait to see his face.

"You have your camera, right?"

"Of course, I always do, why?"

"I've been planning this for two weeks, come upstairs!"

"What on earth have you been planning, princess?"

"Just come on!"

We walk up the stairs to my room and I have three different outfits laid out on her bed. There is a black lace cropped top with high waisted shorts and a denim vest with the outline of the American flag on the back, a very obviously Lilly Pulitzer dress with Jack Rogers and a very big sunhat that she's had monogrammed. I stop for a second.

"What on earth possessed you to get this?"

"I looked up 'what do southern women wear' and this is what came up. I quite like the hat."

"You're right, southern women do wear that. Did you do that all for me?"

"All of this is for you, silly. Though, I must admit that I want to see you in a tie."

There's also a dress laying there. I don't know how to describe the dress, other than it sends one message. Fuck me. Now. Hard. Against that wall. And in the chair. And on the floor. And I'm gonna tie ya to the bedpost and fuck you again.

I smile at him as his eyes light up with some sort of childlike excitement, so happy that I've thought of this for him.

"You're always so thoughtful to me, and when I saw your face the other day during our shoot, I knew that I wanted to do this for you. So I picked out some new outfits and bought the canopy for the outfit with the crop top. I figure we'll go outside for the Lilly dress."

"Come here and let me kiss you, princess."

"I was promised touches earlier, remember?"

"Naughty, naughty girl. I love it."

"I'm not the naughty one, I'm the sheltered one, remember?"

"Oh, of course. And Liliana, if you're uncomfortable or we're moving too fast, please, please tell me. I don't want to rush this. I want to take it slow and do right by you. I want you to be sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that you're ready for anything we do. Because once I do anything, we can't take it back."

"You're the only person I can ever see myself being with, Jace. I will let you know if I'm uncomfortable or if we're moving too fast. I don't think we are doing anything remotely sexual today, anyways."

"Okay, my love. Let me know if it's too much sensation. Jolene said a lot about that during your last treatment."

"I will, now kiss me."

He puts his hands on my hips as he pulls me into him, sliding his strong hands underneath the camisole and touching my bare skin. I hope he likes what he feels. He does, I guess, because he squeezes my hip, which makes me moan just a bit. Jace must like the sound, because he moans under his breath as well. I jump onto him and he grabs hold of my ass, which he seems to like. He puts me down again and his hand comes down onto me.

Jace is an ass man. I'm so glad I've got one. I trace lines on his abs, and I can tell he likes this as well. I think he likes to be touched, that he's a very touchy lover. I'm okay with that, but there will be days when I can't be touched, even by Jace.

He pulls back first, smiling. He cups the side of my face in his hand, slowly running his fingers through my

short haircut.

"So lets get this show on the road."

I head to the bathroom to freshen up my make up, and when I get back, I pull my shirt over my head, allowing Jace to see me. His eyes nearly came out of his head, I laughed at him.

"You've already seen me, Jace. In the hospital."

"Yes, but I wasn't worried about that kind of stuff. You have a fucking hot figure and I can't wait to make you mine."

I just smile as I pull on the shorts, and turn toward the lens of Jace's camera, ready for my close up.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Josu and Kaalia won't be home for another three hours, Jace, and It's already nine thirty. Let's order some Chinese takeout and watch a movie."

"Bella Vita delivers, if you'd rather have that."

"Oh, yes, I would. And order a piece of strawberry cheesecake."

"Somebunny is very hungry."

"Hey, don't judge. I don't have my next treatment till tomorrow and I actually feel half way decent right now."

"I'm not judging. I'm glad you're eating."

I smile at him and he returns the favor with a kiss. While we are waiting, we sit on the couch and shoot the shit. He speaks first.

"Can I ask you a question, love?"

"Of course."

"Can you tell me something about your cancer story?"

"I guess, since you told me something about your past today, I'll share just a smidge of mine."

"Well, about five months ago, I started feeling really, really sick. I was always super nauseous, fatigued, fever, rashes, full nine yards."

"So, Josu and I went to see our family doctor, who ran a battery of tests. My antinuclear antibody was high, so he thought I had lupus or psoriatic arthritis, or something going on with my immune system. We were like, okay. We can all deal with this. He put me on immunosurpressants and went on his merry way. Nothing was getting better so Josu , Kaalia and I went to a rheumatologist and he ran some more tests, and decided to run a biopsy of my bone marrow and spinal fluids just to be sure it was an autoimmune disorder, that it didn't have anything to do with cancer. Well, the test came back that it indeed was leukemia. That day, Josu spent time away from work, Kaalia did too. We did research of all the doctors from Canada, the US and Europe. That's when we found Doctor Trostani, who is a excellent oncologist and is renowned around the world for her research and her ability to help patients as people. So, that day, we put the house up for sale, found one down hear that we felt was big enough for us but not too flashy because we don't want paparazzi to find out where we are. They are bad about sneaking in bushes at your house. Anyways, when we figured out I had cancer, everything changed. Josu was about to go pro in hockey and it eats me alive. He's already given me so much. There's no way that I can ever repay him for what he's done for me."

"You'd do the same thing, Liliana. You would have quit gymnastics to take care of your Osu and not look back. You two have always had each other and there is no reason that it was going to stop just because you got sick. Also, paparazzi? Why on earth would you have paparazzi?"

"Ever heard of Vess Airlines?"

"Of course, who hasn't?"

"That's one of my father's companies. People in Canada are obsessed with us."

"So basically you're an heiress?"

"Ugh, Jace. Don't call me that. That's what the magazines call me!"

"I'm sorry, princess."

The doorbell dings and Jace goes to get the food, but I beat him there, so I get to pay for it for once. He's so irritated with me for that.

We eat and then we decide to put on a movie. It's not long after we sit down that she falls asleep. I find that this movie has a very soporific effect on me, and it's not long before I've dozed off. Josu and Kaalia would be here in an hour and wake the both of us up, so I'm not too worried about falling asleep in Jace's arms.

I hear something and I sit up, groggy from both my sleep meds and sleep itself.

"We'll see you in the morning, Lili. You need your rest. Go back to sleep."

I mumble incoherent words at my brother and lay back down onto Jace's chest, allowing the sweet lullaby of his heart to sing me to sleep.


	14. Bon Anniversaire

_**Here is chapter 14, enjoy! I hope everyone did awesomely at JOU Game Day this weekend! I hope you all have enjoyed the recent chapters of Sculpted Shadows as well. Everyone should go check out talesfromthemultiverse on tumblr, a new prompt will be posted this week! There also will be a Sculpted Shadows outtake (regardless) as well as a LMDE outtake if I get at least two reviews on the chapter! ENJOY! **_

_Lettin' the Night Roll- Justin Moore_

_Whisky in my Water- Tyler Farr _

**(Jace Beleren) **

I find it hard to believe that it's already October and Liliana and I have been together more than a month, because it's totally flown by. The days, the weeks, everything. I don't think I've ever been "home" less than I am now, which is perfectly fine by me and I'm going to assume it's fine by my housemate.

Today, however, is her birthday and she has a huge surprise, it's been hard to keep it from her, especially when she knows I know something. Shopping for her was also one of the hardest things I've ever done. Women. I don't understand them. She's waiting for me at her house, thinking that we're going to school. I pull up and she's pulling the door shut, smiling.

"Good morning," she kisses my cheek. I turn to face her, kissing her on the mouth, and she giggles and goes for the back of my head like she always does.

"Happy Birthday, Princess."

"Ugh."

"What?"

"I was hoping you'd all forget, and so far none of you have, Josu woke me up this morning with some loud rendition of the French birthday song, Kaalia made Nutella flavored pancakes, they wanted me to wear this stupid head thing they found at the store, and now here you are, not forgetting it's my birthday."

"Did you really think any of us would forget your birthday?"

"No, but hope is quite the fickle mistress."

"You know you're not going to school today, right?"

"But Josu…"

"He knows."

"That bastard!"

"Liliana.."

"What? We pretty much both are."

"Anyways, since I figured you'd already ate and you don't have a treatment to be at today, we could find something to do."

"Totally skipped breakfast today, don't know what your problem is."

"Main problem is that I woke up late. Problem number two is I don't care for Nutella."

"Excuse you, sir."

"It's the truth-I guess the North Carolina boy is still there after living up north so long. I prefer peanut butter."

"Has Gideon said anything?"

"Since I tore him a new asshole? No."

"That is quite a United States saying."

"More like the South…"

"Should I differentiate?" She snorts.

"Should I differentiate Quebec and Toronto?"

"Point taken. So what are we doing?"

"I thought I'd leave that up to you. Birthday girl and all that jazz. Josu wants us back around lunchtime."

"So he can make sure I take my medicine…" Liliana grumbles. "Asshole.. and you are also an asshole for making me choose what I want to do."

"I never thought someone as pretty as you could be this murderous…"

"Here I am, I come in French and English… and I really just want to be with you. We haven't really had any time to ourselves since the last time you fell asleep at my house."

"Josu will wake us up, we thought. We'll hear them come in, we said. Kaalia will if Josu didn't. Nope, just threw a blanket over us and went on their merry way."

"I have no complaints about this; do you?"

"Definitely not."

Tezzeret gave me so much shit when I came to change and shower, but I tuned him completely out. However, it was worth getting to hold her all night. Knowing that she slept soundly is pretty much the most peaceful feeling there is- and knowing that she slept soundly in my arms is even better. I won't lie that I've had a lot of fantasies of just being able to hold her- and other things, because well, let's face it, I'm a guy. But being able to hold her that night was an amazing feeling- one that I haven't felt in quite a while, and it was so strong, it was almost like a punch in the gut. I wish I knew how strongly she felt; it would make this ten times easier.

Why can't I be a mind reader?

Though her "I just want to be with you" comment stroked my ego just a bit. I've got it handled and under control.

"It's going to be cold here soon, Liliana."

"This is cold?"

"I said soon, didn't I?"

"I exist to try your patience."

"Hush- and you don't try my patience. Much."

"I can't wait to pretend I'm cold just so you'll snuggle me."

"Or you could just ask," as we make our way to "our spot" where we come when we can't figure out what else we want to do, I wrap my arms around her waist from behind. "It's not like you would get a no."

"But that takes a shot at my pride," she steps closer to my body, so that my chest is touching her back. "and I shouldn't have to ask."

"Fair enough, I got you presents by the way."

"You really didn't have to."

"Did you expect me not to?"

"I'm going to do the same bullshit when it's your birthday, just so you know."

"The fact that you plan on being with me that long is gift enough."

"I want to be with you every minute of every single day, which for me is quite insane- I've never felt like this. I want to kiss you, I want to hold you, and I want get to know you for who you are- not for who your family is, or the money that you come from. I don't need that. I don't need a name and I don't need your money. I need someone to love me- and right now, this self-acclaimed "backwoods boy from North Carolina" is the most beautiful thing in my life- and I can't wait to know everything about you. You say you want to get to know my heart- well I'm giving it to you. Anything you want to know, you can ask. No more secrets. I… I… I feel too much for you for any more secrets."

I don't know what else to say or what else to add, for the first time in my life I'm at a complete loss for words. So I kiss her. I turn her around, pull her hips to my body and kiss her like it's the last time I'll get to. My hands are too big for her petite neck, but I touch the back of it and her breath catches in her throat, so I can't bring myself to move. Her hands find their way from the back of my head to underneath my shirt; making me gasp as well. A slight moan exits her lips and it's hard to ignore. Backed up against the Jeep already, I lift her tiny body and she sits on the hood, wrapping her legs around me. I need to pull back, but I can't. She does. She puts her head on my shoulder and sighs.

"Jace.."

"Liliana, these feelings scare me shitless."

"Glad I'm not the only one."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Do I have to go home? It's my birthday."

"You want to go home, princess. I thought you want me to forget it's your birthday."

"Do you know something I don't? Are they throwing me a surprise party? I hate surprises! Like the last one upset me so badly that I locked myself in my room and Josu had to come pry me out."

"They're not throwing you a surprise party. Good to know, though."

"Jaceeeeeeeeee!" She throws her head in my lap. "I don't want to go home!"

"I swear I'm going to start calling Drama Lili.."

We pull up at her house around twelve- right on time. She pokes her lip out at me and I lean over to kiss her. Again, because I can't focus on anything else but poking her lip out at me. I really need to get my focus back, but everything being the way it is- I'm just focused on her.

"You should kiss me more."

"I would kiss you every minute of every day if I could, Liliana. Let's go see what Josu and Kaalia want to do for lunch."

"Butttttttttt Jaceeeeeeeee! Love me!"

"Oh my dear sweet Jesus, Liliana, let's go inside before your brother castrates me or some shit."

"But I need that."

"Um, what?"

"Future endeavors, Jace. Future endeavors."

"Let me get the door.."

I open her door and she wraps her legs around my waist, obviously not caring that Josu and Kaalia are probably watching. She pulls me into her and kisses my neck.

"I gotcha now, you're mine forever."

"Don't say that too much, I'll take you up on it."

"Please do."

"I want a piggyback ride."

"Okay, Liliana."

She jumps on my back and I spin her around a couple of times, cuing her beautiful laughter. Josu shouldn't have a problem with us doing this, but I like to tread carefully around him, just like I would my mom if she was still here. He's a respectable adult, unlike Tezzeret. I sit Liliana down close to her front steps, but she jumps on me and I hold her as our foreheads touch, she smiles the slightest grin and her lips meet mine, just for a moment I put her down and she laughs, taking my hand.

She opens the door and the squeal that she makes is the cutest thing I've ever seen in seventeen years.

"_AVACYN!"_

"_LILI!"_

They hug and hold each other tightly for a few moments. They are speaking rapid French, things that sound like exclamations of love and happiness, Liliana's eyes lit up when she saw her best friend. I miss Kallist. I really, really miss Kal. I wish he could have known her…

"Hey, short shit. You just had to copy my haircut, didn't you, Liliana? We've missed you."

"GRAY! I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

Gray embraces Lili and then goes to stand by Avacyn. The blonde approaches me and I make to shake her hand, but she hugs me before I can. I pat her back awkwardly until she pulls back.

"Hi, Jace. I'm Avacyn."

"Hi, Avacyn, nice to finally meet you in person.

"I've never seen her this happy," she whispers to me. "Whatever it is that you're doing, please keep doing it."

"Hey bro, I'm Gray. I've heard all about you from our little flower over there." He gestures to Liliana. We shake hands. Gray seems like a solid guy, just a cool guy to hang out with.

"LILIANA CLAIRE VESS YOU SWEET SEXY BITCH I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" The word bitch got my hackles up, but Liliana just laughs- this is something that they've done for a while. This guy, Mirko, Liliana was not kidding when she said he was gay. He's queerer than a three dollar bill. Nothing against him, just glad he's one less male that I have to worry about trying to mack on my girl.

Mirko hugs Liliana fiercely and she laughs when he picks her up and spins her around.

"Gods, I've missed you, Liliana! Avacyn just doesn't let me dress her up like you do!"

"My closet is free game- and I even have a wonderful photographer."

"I saw. You're really talented, Jace. I'm Mirko, by the way."

"Hey, dude. Nice to meet you."

There's a guy coming out from the bathroom, obviously Domri. I can see why Josu was such a stickler. He's got a stupid looking Mohawk and a fucking turtleneck and scarf, in fucking October, when it's still seventy degrees. Liliana's jeans aren't as tight as this guy's, and he has a fucking Polaroid camera around his neck. _Hipster. _Ew.

"_Bonjour_, sweetheart."

Liliana gives him a sort of half smile and reaches for my hand. I take it with a smile. Domri, however, has other plans. He hugs Liliana and before either one of us can stop him, he kisses her on the cheek. I feel my temper flaring.

_Ne m'embrassae pas, Domri. _

"Oh, but why don't you want me to kiss you? You weren't singing that tune when you left Montreal, my love."

"I'm not your love, Domri. I'm…she trails off."

"She's mine. She's my love."

"I'm Jace. Liliana's _boyfriend._"

"I know who you are, _mais je ne parle pas anglais_."

Josu's voice rings out, annoyed.

"You do speak English, and you will be respectful of Jace and Kaalia in this house, Domri. Don't speak French when there are English speakers are in the room."

"I see you haven't changed a bit, Josu. Except now you let little American boys date your sister while it took me nearly three years for you to let her go anywhere with me."

"Because she was thirteen! She was a child. And that "little American boy," has done more for Liliana than you have the whole time she's been sick. That American boy cares more about getting into my sister's heart than he does her pants, and that's why he's allowed to date her and you weren't. Besides, I would never let my sister marry into the Rade's if we are being completely honest"

"So the rumors must be true."

Liliana, Avacyn, Kaalia, Gray and Mirko all gasp. What on earth could there be rumors about?

"Excuse me? Do you want to rethink that sentence, Domri? Because if you want to play hard ball- the Vess' own every company your father has stock in. I can make your life hell. Do you want to rethink what you just said, little boy?"

I've never seen Josu get anything close to angry- but that's what he is now. His ears are bright red and he is breathing heavily. I want to see Josu punch the shit out of this little fucker, if we are being completely honest.

"Now you wanna play the money card, Josu? Seriously? You don't control Liliana's life. She's seventeen now."

"Josu and Kaalia are my only authority, Domri Rade, and even if they weren't, I would choose Jace. Every day, every time."

I grab my girlfriend's hand and squeeze it. I pull her into my arms, as if to shield her from all this bullshit that this jealous asshole is creating.

"You're not choosing Jace! As usual, big brother bear makes all of Liliana's decisions. Josu found someone that will stay in his pocket and do exactly what he wants. No wonder people say what they do about the both of you. It's never been clearer that it is true!"

"My girlfriend has a chemo treatment tomorrow, Domri, and I'd appreciate it if you'd lay off the drama, this is going to be hard enough for her as it is, in case you aren't familiar with how chemo and radiation work. I don't give a damn what these fucking rumors are or what you think about my relationship. Liliana chooses to be with me. Josu doesn't force her to be with me, Kaalia doesn't twist Liliana's arm. Are you seriously so jealous that you are creating falsehoods about them?"

"These rumors are not mine, American. Why don't you ask your "girlfriend" about them? Since Josu likes you so much, why hasn't he told you?"

"You can shut the hell up, Domri. You're about two seconds away from being on the next plane back to Montreal." Liliana says through her teeth, her usual seductive purr is a hiss right now.

"You think because you own this airline-"

"Stop right there. Just stop." Kaalia's voice rings out over Domri's. "It's Liliana's birthday. We can either all act like civilized people and eat dinner and watch a couple movies, or we can stand here and argue this futile argument." Kaalia takes a breath.

"Domri, I have never in my life seen my sister like this. I the midst of _cancer _he makes her smile. You barely made her smile when she had money and god knows what else thrown at her. You are not going to break them, nothing you can say is going to break them. I understand you like Liliana- you'd be a fool not to. But what they have- it's special and it's not something you see every day. Because they fight every day to be together. And I'll be damned if Josu and I don't fight right alongside them. So you would do well to pick out one of the little heiresses in Montreal and stop trying to marry your way into the Vess line. Because it won't happen. We," she looks at her husband, his hand on her shoulder. "aren't about to let that happen."

"You would rather her marry some hick from the United States."

"You don't understand the concept of marriage- your pathetic parents have thrust you into trying to get in a relationship with Liliana so you can marry into the Vess money- and that is disgusting."

"What does that say about you, Kaalia? The Markov money wasn't enough for you? You married into the Vess' because that's what uncle Sorin told you to do."

"I married into the Vess' because _I love my husband._"

"And the only person he loves is-"

"ENOUGH!" Josu shouts. "If you do not shut your mouth right now, I will call your parents and have you on the next plane back to Montreal. No more words about my wife, no more words about my sister, and no more words about Jace, because you will not speak to the people I care about in this manner."

I take a look at Liliana, she looks upset, she's looking from me to Josu and doesn't seem to know what to say. She looks at me like she's drowning in all the words.

"Jace, the rumors are…"

"Liliana, it doesn't matter right now. I'm not going to let it ruin your birthday or ruin your time you have with Avacyn, Gray, and Mirko. We can talk about it after the weekend is up, princess. So let's show them around this little tourist trap they call Baltimore…"

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

After a day walking around town, showing them downtown and the boutique district, we end up at Bella Vita for dinner. After seeing Liliana's pictures, Avacyn has bought herself quite a large sunhat as well as About six Tervis tumblers to keep coffee warm and lemonade cold, she said. I pull out Liliana's chair as well as Avacyn's, Gray playfully clapping me on the back.

"Don't make me look bad, dude!"

"Not trying to, just habit.

He smiles at me and I just nod in return. Liliana puts her hand on my inner thigh and scoots her body close to mine, putting her head on my shoulder. I turn my head toward her and kiss her on the top of her head, but she lifts her head and then my chin, placing one of her sweet kisses on my mouth. I deepen the kiss as much as I can for being in public right now- what I wouldn't give to be in her room right now, she's needy and I would love to be able to scratch that itch. Liliana lays her head on my shoulder again after I pull back, breaking the kiss.

"You need pain and nausea medicine, princess."

"I'm trying to stay off of them as much as I can, _mon couer._"

"They're in my pocket if it gets to be too much, okay."

Domri has barely spoke two words since we left the Vess house. He knows that he has permanently fucked up his chances with Lili, which were already slim to none because Lili wants to be with me and I'm not letting her go. If I could hold her every second of every single day, I would. I love the way Liliana looks at me, like I'm everything she could have ever dreamed of. I'm scared of hurting her, and I'm scared of losing her. Domri addresses Liliana.

"You're going to get strung out on all that medicine that you're on. You're going to become an addict if you don't watch yourself."

"I don't have a pain pill problem, I have a pain problem. Not to be rude, but you don't understand the side effects of chemo and radiation."

"I'm not stupid, Liliana. I know it makes your hair fall out and it makes you look gaunt as hell. The medicine isn't helping you. It's poisoning you."

"That's the whole point. We're starving the cancer!"

"Whatever, Liliana."

"You're not living with this every day. I am. When you have three radiation and chemo treatments in a week, come back and talk to me. I cannot physically move or breathe without being nauseated and in some sort of pain. I'm sorry it's a minor inconvenience for you, and that it disrupts your disgusting fantasies about yanking me around by my hair- but I'll keep my medicine. When did you become such a douche? We've been friends since we were born!"

"You didn't choose me! You completely friend-zoned me because of Josu."

"It doesn't have anything to do with Josu, I moved! I wasn't going to tie you down! But I found someone who is so utterly _right_ for me that I refuse to let him go. I'm sorry that my friendship is such a horrible thing. It seems to be good enough for Gray, for Mirko- what makes you so different?"

"We were supposed to be together! Don't act like you don't know. Aline and Auguste would have arranged our marriage before you moved down here. But no, Josu takes you to some pathetic excuse for a city and you get with an _American." _

"This conversation is done. You won't make her feel bad for her choices. We have enough on our plate that we don't have time for this."

"When did I become we, Liliana?"

I go to speak up and this little prick holds up his hand like a fucking four year old.

"I didn't ask you." This asshole needs to be taken behind the woodshed and roughed up. I go to speak again, but I'm not going to try to overpower Lili.

"I became we when he said that cancer didn't matter. When he told me that he'd rather love my heart than make love to my body," He cuts her off.

"You're entertaining sex with this guy? I could barely get you to kiss me without you getting uncomfortable!"

"No, we were not entertaining the idea of having sex, he just told me that he'd rather love my heart and mind before he loved my body. This man makes me feel like the most beautiful person on earth when I look like the poster child for LLS or Relay for Life," she takes a breath. "I'm not Liliana leukemia like I was in Canada. I'm just… he's mine. There is no ulterior motive. He likes me for me, not because he wants to marry into the Vess line. He asked me to be his far before he knew about my parents."

"You'll never get your parent's approval, Liliana."

"You think that bothers me? I'll have the approval of the man who raised me and the sister in law that loves me regardless."

"You won't marry until you get the approval of your parents, unless you want to be the cover a tabloid like usual. The fact that you're even entertaining the idea of marrying some hick is pathetic. You've known me your whole life. You've known this kid maybe two months."

"And I've never been surer of anything in my life. You just made sure of that."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

I can't get her voice out of my head. _I've never been surer of anything in my life._ This is why I'm scared. I can't imagine losing her, I will do anything to keep from pushing her away. I have to do this right, I have to, because if I lose her, I'm going to go crazy. Josu's voice rings out, causing Liliana to look up from her and Avacyn's match up of chess. Gray and I are sitting around, shooting the shit, Mirko is seeing how he can style Lili's new short hair do. Domri is sitting in a corner reading a book and texting.

"Checkmate," Avacyn says smugly.

"What do you like to do, dude?" I say, looking at Gray.

"I like to play the guitar, and I love making music."

"I play the guitar too, I can bring mine over and we can have a jam session tomorrow."

"Dude, that would be totally awesome. Oh, and Avy and I agree. Liliana has never been like this. Keep making her happy. And don't worry about Domri, we all just kind of tolerate him. Liliana got tired of his unceasing propositions so they went out on a couple dates, now he thinks he owns her."

"Thanks, bro, she makes me happy too. I know she misses you guys. She talks about you three all the time."

"We're just glad she's not alone. And don't worry about the rumors. They aren't true. Lili will tell you and they will shock you, I'm sure. But it's okay. You and I and everyone else that matters know that they aren't true."

"It doesn't matter to me what they are, I'm never giving her up."

"I wish you could have seen her when she wasn't sick. She was so full of life, so passionate about everything she did. She would have gone to the Olympics, no doubt. She wants to be a vet if her gymnastics career doesn't work out, she loves animals. She's been trying to convince Josu for three years to let her have a duck for a pet."

"She's never told me this, we are still learning about each other. She's full of life now. She's fighting so hard, I wish you guys could see her every day. She fights like a champion. She's going to beat this."

"We all know that she is, and we're just glad to know she isn't alone."

"She never will be. I don't know, Gray. I'm falling in love with her and it's scaring the living shit out of me."

"Is she your first relationship?"

"No, I dated a girl for a little over a year prior to moving here and then we dated for about nine months after I moved. She cheated."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that with Liliana- once she takes up with you, she's fiercely loyal. But the whole point of me asking you that was to say this. When Avacyn and I first got together, her father didn't trust me, nor did Kaalia, or anyone. I had to work to earn their trust. It was so scary to feel that her family didn't like me, but you already have the advantage. Josu likes you. And let me tell you that Josu has never been easy to get along with when it comes to his sister. Jace, she's never looked at anyone like she looks at you. I have never in my life seen Liliana act, for lack of a better word, _thirsty._ She wants all your attention all of the time. She's never done that. Tell her how you feel. I didn't tell Avacyn until I almost lost her, and it's a really shitty feeling. If you love her, tell her. You never know what tomorrow holds."

"I'm terrified to love her and lose her."

"Better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all, dude."

Liliana and Avacyn have finished their second game of chest, Liliana blaming her losses on her brain fog from her drugs. Domri still hasn't spoken to anyone. Mirko has been coaching Lili during chess, she probably wouldn't have lost as badly if it wasn't for her gay assistant.

She comes over from the table and sits down on my lap as I wrap my arms around her.

"Hi, princess. Seems like you came off worse on the chess match."

"Sigh. I did, I did."

I kiss the back of her neck a couple times and see the gooseflesh pop up on her arms. Half of me wants to nibble her earlobe, but now might not be the best time to tease her. Avacyn is sitting next to Gray, Mirko beside him. Domri rolls his eyes at all of us. What was the point of him coming if he wasn't going to try to have fun?

Lili looks at me and then at Avacyn. She pecks a quick kiss on my mouth and then smiles at Avy.

"Let's build a blanket fort!"

It's about ten thirty when Josu and Kaalia come in, and we are still in the middle of construction. They both laugh at us and make sure that everyone is okay, other than Avy nursing a stubbed toe and Liliana hitting her funny bone, it was mostly drama free.

"Jace? Are you staying?"

"I might as well, let me go out to the Jeep and grab my sleep shorts and stuff." I shoot Tezzeret a text message, trying to be respectful and avoid as many fights as possible.

I get up and so does Liliana, who is already clad in her cloth shorts and one of my shirts that I have from AC Reynolds, the high school I attended before I moved to Baltimore.

"I'm coming too!"

The words 'oh, you will be' form on my tongue, but seeing as I quite like my face the shape it is and I'm pretty sure I can't outrun Josu, I keep the comment to myself. She follows me out to the Jeep.

"Now why exactly did you want to accompany me to the Jeep, princess?"

"Because I wanted to do this."

She wraps her arms around my neck and starts to kiss my neck and earlobe before I turn her to face me and kiss her on the lips. The kiss is deep and meaningful, not just a normal kiss. I pull her close to me and she grinds her hips against me, causing me to elicit a moan.

"Mmm.." she says into the kiss, pulling back to put her forehead to mine. I'm not finished with her, though. I tip her head back up and kiss her again, pulling her flush with my body. I let my hand drift lower and every part of me wants to smack her right on the ass, but I'm not sure if anyone is watching. I kiss her earlobe and neck, looking for Josu's blue eyes in the night. She grinds against me again, and I have literally no hope of not getting extremely _excited _at this. My hand collides with the back of her cloth shorts, causing her to gasp and then squeak just a bit.

"Sometimes, Jace, you make want to throw my clothes at you, you make me so damn _needy_ and I don't know how to cope with that."

"Trust me, you're not the only one."

"Thank you for being my champion- with Gideon and Domri. I wish you and Osu would let me handle it myself, sometimes, though."

"I'm not saying you can't, I'm just saying that as a man, and a gentleman, it's my job to protect my girl. Josu probably feels the same way. If I had a younger sibling, I would be the same way. Especially if I had had to raise them."

"It makes me happy when you say that."

"What? My girl? You are!"

"And I'm so glad to be."

I pull her back into a kiss before Mirko sticks his head out and yells.

"It doesn't take fifteen minutes to get shorts! Come in, lovebirds!"

I grab the shorts and t-shirt from the back, pocketing my phone charger and my keys, and prepare for a long night.

It's so gonna be worth it.


	15. Falling

_Greetings! Enjoy the chapter of LMDE-Sculpted Shadows will be up as soon as I find my misplaced flashdrive-Ravnica High is in the works. _

(Jace Beleren)

Gray and I have been playing Halo for a good two and a half hours. After her night meds, Liliana was out, and a jet lagged Avacyn followed shortly after. Mirko got bored with the video games and read until he was out. Domri decided not to sleep in the actual blanket fort, he's still pouting about earlier. I'm to the point where I don't care what the kid says as long as he's not mean or rude to Liliana. She's asleep on my lap, but when I go to get the remote, I wake her. She sits up and rubs her sleepy eyes.

"Jace?"

"I'm right here. Just turning the TV off."

"Ugh. I don't feel very good."

"We've got an early morning, your treatment is at seven. Do you want me or Josu to go with you?"

"You."

"Why are you blushing?"

"I don't want to bother you.."

"You're not bothering me, Liliana. Remember what you said earlier? I just want to be with you. I want to be with you, no matter where, no matter the time. We chose each other, remember?"

"Mhmm.."

She presses her lips to mine and wraps her legs around my hips. I respond by pulling her closer to me and slowing the kiss down just a bit. My hands are gripping her hips and her shirt gets pushed up slightly, her bare skin is soft and she's warm. When she feels me on her rib cage and side, she breathes in sharply and moans into my mouth. She's already flush with my body and turns so that she's straddling my waist.

"Lili…"

"Just kiss me.. it's not going to get out of hand."

She puts her hands one either side of my face and instigates the kiss, her torso on my chest. I'm fully aware of the fact that the thin sleep shirt is the only thing between us right now. My hands slide down her side and come to rest on her hips as she breaks the kiss and rolls back beside me, snuggling into my side. I turn over and spoon her, hugging her close.

"I'm glad you're sleeping next to me, my love." She scoots closer to me. So much for hiding any arousal, there's no way she didn't feel it.

I feel her smile into the darkness.

"What?"

"I'm mildly proud of myself, I've never done that before."

"Oh, yes you have, I've just been able to hide it before. I'm also pretty sure the other guy you've kissed likes guys."

"Well, you shouldn't, and that's horrible, Jace." She giggles.

"Get some rest, sweet princess. We've got an early morning."

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Too early for comfort, I'm being shaken awake by Lili, who is in her usual tanktop and yoga pants. I pull on my clothes and we're in the Jeep before the sun has really risen. I've pulled up the arm rest into a bench seat and her head is on my shoulders. I can look at her and tell that it's probably going to be a harder treatment today because she's so worn out.

"You have your birthday dinner tonight, my love."

"Domri being here is spoiling my mood. I knew he would be that way. And Josu's right, more than likely. He doesn't like me, he likes the name _Vess. _ And do you want to know about the rumors now, or later?" Liliana's voice is barely a squeak.

"Whenever you want to tell me, Liliana. It honestly doesn't make a difference, I wouldn't care if Obama himself was out to get you, I'd still be by your side. I think I've made it clear how I feel about you."

"We're a lot more affluent in Canada than we are here. Josu and I have always kept our heads down and kept to ourselves. Same with the Markovs. Sorin has always kept his business a secret, protected Avacyn and then when he got custody of Kaalia, her too. Josu and I went out and made appearances and only spoke when we were spoken too. It's just part of being part of that circle in Montreal. However, we've always been stalked—no plagued, by paparazzi. It is what it is. Because my parents are two most useless human beings that I've ever met and my life and didn't bother to take care of the people that they created, I was constantly with Josu. If he was out, so was I. We were never seen apart. I'm closer to Josu than I am anyone in the whole world, and the fact that you just take our relationship at face value is astounding to me."

"I had a brother I loved more than anything in the world too, Liliana. I knew what it was like to have no family other than a sibling, or in my case, a cousin. I had my mom, and then when she died, I had Kallist. I understand that. Maybe not neglect, but I do understand loss."

She smiles a sad smile and then continues with her monologue.

"The rumors are—they're disgusting and the fact that these people perpetuate them is astounding to me. They've essentially ruined us from being able to do anything in Canada, outside our father's company- jobs, school, anything. I'm so used to everyone knowing that I don't even think I've said it before.

"Liliana, what on earth could be that bad?"

"I don't even want to say it. I'm half tempted to make you look it up."

"It's not going to change the way I look at either of you. Seriously, whatever it is, it's obviously made up. Because he looks at you the same way my mom looked at me- like a parent who loves their child-or in this case-sibling, more than anything and just wants them protected and successful."

"It's funny, because seventy percent of Canada say he looks at me like he looks at Kaalia."

"_What?_ What on earth does that even mean, Liliana?"

"Jace. You're smart."

"You're telling me people think you and Josu are having sex?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you. The rumors-they're incest rumors."

"Okay, if that were the case, Josu wouldn't have accepted me the way he did, plus, like I told you, he looks at you like a father would. It's obvious he and Kaalia are made for each other, and I think, in fact, that those rumors are so farfetched that they are laughable. So, don't worry about me believing any of Domri's -or the rest of Canada's crap, for that matter. You're not sleeping with your brother."

She heaves a sigh of relief and kisses the side of my neck as we pull into our usual parking spot at Hopkins. I grab her hospital blanket that says _Property of the Johns-Hopkins Medical Institute_ on the tag and make our way into the chemo wing.

When we get there, Jolene is there and hooks Liliana up to the machine. She asks if there is anything we need and then sighs.

"Doctor Trostani wants you to have a port placed, Liliana."

"Osu and I have already talked about it. If you want to line me up for next week, that's fine. We're on break from Thursday to the following Tuesday, so hopefully one of those days. It'll be nice to shower again without having to worry about whether or not the PICC is going to get wet."

"You have an appointment with her that Monday, so we'll place it Friday morning, that way you and Jace can at least have one of your break days without having to trudge up here. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight."

"You're a saint, they don't pay you enough to deal with all this bullshit."

"Don't make me tell your brother your sailor's mouth has made a reappearance."

"Ugh, I'm sorry I've pretty much ruined your fall break," I cut her off.

"Shut up, Lili. Not being rude, but stop. It hurts my feelings when you talk about how much of a burden you are. You are not my burden, you don't see yourself clearly at all, I lo-I just, I need you. You're the most beautiful blessing- and I've lost so much in the past few years, but I've gained the most beautiful girl and some semblance of a family. You're my second chance. I will do anything in the world to make sure you're healthy, whether it's sitting with you at your treatments or giving you a kidney. I will continue to choose you if you do the same."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

About two hours later, Liliana gets up and goes to the bathroom, stopping her medicine and unhooking herself from the IV pole and walks to the small room. A few minutes later, her voice rings out. Scared she's hurt, I turn the knob and push the door open, revealing Liliana standing at the mirror. The remnants of the pixie cut are on the floor and Liliana looks back at me, completely bald.

"Can I wear your hat?"

"Of course."

I hand the Duke hat over to her, pulling her into a tight hug.

"You're getting better, remember?"

"I've been preparing for this since my hair fell out on the couch. It's okay. We can go wig shopping tomorrow after they leave. I just hope Gideon- or someone at school doesn't say anything."

"Gideon better know better by now, because he's got one more fucking time and I'm going to be in jail for assault."

"As flattering at as that is, I quite like you out of prison."

"Don't like sharing your boyfriend with prison Mike, then?"

"Can't say that I like sharing with anyone, you are mine."

I scoop Lili up, bridal style and spin her around. How in shit am I going to tell her how I feel? I thought I was in love before but you have turned my whole world upside down, I can't breathe or eat or move without thinking of her, it's like I'm infected by her, I want her whole heart and her mind and her body to be mine. I need her like water, like air. She's crept into my heart and made it hers in the short amount of time she's been in my life.

"You're so beautiful, Liliana. How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Lucky? You're dating a bald chick who's losing her curves and everything that makes her look like a woman? Lucky? I'm the lucky one. I have a handsome man who somehow wants every part of me. I'm the lucky one, Jace."

"Don't talk about my girl, Liliana. She's beautiful and charming and smart and funny, and I don't appreciate you talking about her."

I sit on the chair next to her bed and help hook her back into her machines. She scoots over and pats the side of the hospital bed, I sit. She cuddles around me and lets the medicine take effect for once. It's not long before her deep, even breathing is the only sound that fills the room. I place the hat on the shelf behind her and rub her head, where her beautiful hair had been.

So her sickness is visible now. There's no more hiding it.

People will know she has cancer and question the both of us for being together. Question us for wanting one another.

"I love you, I just don't know how to tell you. I need you and there's nothing to be said to change that fact. I love you, Liliana Claire, but I'm scared to let you know. What if I lose you? How am I going to cope with that?"

Tears sting at the edge of my eyes, cursing cancer, cursing my own cowardice. I know I've found the person that will forever be the keeper of my heart, and I'm too scared to tell her.

Kallist had been right in the fact that I'd never been able to talk to girls and the fact that I had been a pussy, no other way to say it. But the fact that for the first time, I don't feel alone anymore, and I can't tell her, it sickens me. What if I scare her away? I can't lose her too..

I look at the bags under Lili's eyes, her pale face. This disease is robbing her of her young years, but this disease is what brought her to me. This disease could take her away. Not only from me, from her brother and her sister in law, from her friends. The words of John Donne echo in my head.

_Death be not proud, for some have called the mighty and dreadful, but it are not so…_

The very thing that could be knocking on our door has every right to be proud right now, because I'm a coward. The fear of losing her is crippling- and I hang my head, hoping I'll be able to tell her.

I place my lips to her forehead, pulling her closer to me, wrapping her up in her blankets, she stirs a bit but just cuddles back into my chest, sleeping peacefully.

"What have you done to me?"

How fickle of the fates to place something so beautiful, yet so breakable in my care.

How very fickle.

I look down at my slumbering girl in my lap. She doesn't know how much I need her, how every part of my being aches to be hers. She sleeps, in blissful ignorance of the power she holds over me, however, there a ghost of smile on her delicate lips. For once, it's just us.

I'm never letting go.


	16. La Famille

_Enjoy the newest installment of LMDE- I'm taking the next few days to work of the first few chapters of the sequel to Sculpted Shadows. It will be called Sculpted Shadows: The Tear and there will also be a series of outtakes/side stories that exist within the Sculpted Shadows universe. Expect a lot of unexpected twists, some background characters to pop out and you will learn more about the Vess-Beleren and the Nalaar-Jura families. Ravnica High is still in the works just experiencing some writer's block. _

_Enjoy and please leave a review. _

(Liliana Vess)

I wake up, vaguely aware of what's going on, I'm curled around Jace like a cat, and he's rubbing my hair- I mean my head. He sees my eyelids flutter open places his lips to mine. His eyes are red and puffy, he's obviously been crying.

"Oh, my love, what's wrong?"

"This..this..disease, Lili. It brought you to me, but I might take you away- but it can't take you away from me. I need you.."

"I'll fight for you as long as I can. Jace, please. I can't do this alone. Please don't check out on me. I, Jace, I can't lose you."

"I'm scared. I'm absolutely fucking terrified that something is going to happen to you and I… Liliana, that will break me beyond repair. You're the glue holding my pieces together..and…" his breath catches in his throat.

His breathing is heavy and I wrap my arms around him, touching our foreheads together.

"I will fight this with every fiber of my being. Not for Josu, not for Kaalia… for you. This is what I was so scared of, Jace. It's too late, we're addicted to each other, we need each other. What have you done to my heart?!"

"The exact same thing you've done to mine. Come here. I need to hold you."

I scoot into his lap and he cradles me close, just as I reach for his hat. He puts it on my head and I lean into his chest, listening to his heartbeat like rapid fire. He peppers kisses on the top of my head and the back of my neck, my heart beating in tandem with his. I cuddle into his chest and mumble..

"I love you…"

"What? I couldn't hear you."

"Nothing, Jace. Just hold me."

Jolene walks in as the IV begins to beep, I'm done with the treatment. She unhooks me from my medicines as she takes in the sight before her.

"Are you two okay?"

"We're fine.." We both answer it too quickly. She looks from me to Jace, as if she doesn't believe a word that either of us is saying.

"Okay, you two, you're free to go.. be safe. I'll see you next week."

I look to Jace, who wraps a protective arm around my waist. We exit the clinic and make it to the Jeep before my stomach starts to churn. I sprint back toward the door, making it to the trashcan just in time. There's nothing on my stomach, so it's all dry heave. There's no hair for Jace to grab, so he hovers, blocking me from sight. Maybe the man has gotten to know me after all. There's no way that I'm going to be able to take the diner food that they wanted… but I'm at least going to show up. It is my birthday weekend after all. As if he could read my mind, he speaks.

"I will take you home right now, Liliana. Don't over exert yourself for anyone, they wouldn't want you doing that."

"No, no, Jace. I'll be fine. Just head on over there. They're all waiting, I'm sure."

Jace's hoodie is in the back, and though it's still in the seventies, I'm cold. I reach back to grab it and pull it over my head, getting the hat stuck. Jace pulls it out with a slight giggle as he pulls into the diner. They took my car, as it's the only one that seats six.

We walk in and Jace walks over to Mister Karlov, the owner and says hello to Teysa. He helps us push the tables together and as we all sit down, he wraps his arm around Jace. He looks at me and then to Josu.

"This boy loves his girl, though. He's lovesick, constantly talking about his Lili.."

I'm sure the smile that stretches across my face could have lit the whole room. Jace wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in close to him, kissing the top of my head. I sit down between him and Josu, Avy is beside Kaalia, and Domri, Gray and Mirko in front of us. I nuzzle Jace's neck and he kisses the top of the hat. Just as Jace does, Domri reaches over and knocks the hat in the floor. The whole table gasps when they see what's happened, I bend over to retrieve it, not wanting the attention on me.

Just as I'm leaning up, Jace reaches over the table and grabs Domri by the collar.

"Give me a reason not to break your fucking nose, you prick.. I don't know how things work where you're from but where I come from, you don't touch a woman, and as long as we're there you can keep your fucking hands off of my girl, because next time I won't be so forgiving."

"You sure you want her with some guy who's going to fly off the handle, Josu?"

"Damn right I'll fly off the handle for her. I will protect her and make sure no little cockholes that think they're owed something from her touch her."

"You don't know shit about relationships in our part of the world work. I have her parents on my side."

"That's funny, because the man that _raised her _is on mine."

"Is that what they call it now?"

"You think you're cute because you think you know something I don't? Well, jokes on you, because she told me this morning. I'd expect someone as dim witted as you to perpetuate some stupid, farfetched rumor. You're pissed off because you think she's supposed to be riding your jock and she's fallen into my arms instead."

"And I'm glad for it."

He turns to me and strokes the side of my face, brushing his thumb across my ear.

"My princess."

I lay my head on his shoulder as he clears his throat. He smiles at me and kisses the top of my head.

"So, why don't you order some greasy American food and stop ruining my girlfriend's birthday weekend?"

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Six milkshakes later, we're all sitting at the table talking when Josu clinks on the side of his glass and smiles.

"I can't believe you're an adult, it seems like yesterday I held you for the first time and you spit up all over my favorite shirt, the rest has been history. I know that you're going to overcome this, you're the fiercest fighter that any of us know. You've grown into a beautiful woman, you're in your first relationship, I just can't believe it. You taught me more about love than you'll ever know. I knew that you were special from that first moment, Liliana Claire. Kaalia and I love you more than you know."

Josu sits a small box with a bow on it on the table. I open it- it's a Pandora bracelet with a Quebecois flag charm. I smile, he knew I'd been eyeing it since we left Montreal. I wrap my arms around him and hug him tight.

"I love you. Thank you, Osu. I love you and Kaalia so much. It's beautiful."

Avacyn puts another box on the table and I open it. It's a small angel charm to fit the bracelet.

"That way you can take me with you when I'm not here. I love you, Lili."

"I love you more!" I kiss Avacyn on the cheek.

Gray looks at me and then pulls something out from his jacket.

"This is from the rest of us. We got you and Jace tickets to the Canadiens games when you come up for Christmas. Enjoy your date night, kiddies."

For some reason, I can't make myself believe that Domri had much to do with that, as he's on his phone and not even looking down at this end of the table.

Jace puts three different boxes on the table. I can't help but smile when I see the Pandora box.

"Did you three conspire?"

"Something like that."

I open it, and it's a crown charm with a purple jewel in it. I look at Jace and shake my head, he thinks he's so clever.

"I love it, my handsome."

He plants a kiss on my lips and I extend it, because it's my birthday and they can all shut the fuck up.

"Get a room," Gray laughs.

"Or not," Josu said.

I grab the next box and it's a watch that I had a minor freak out about last time we went to the mall; I smile at him again- he's perfectly perfect, I can't believe he remembered. I peck a slight kiss on his cheek. The last box is slightly bigger and I open it. It's a journal that he's had my name embossed on. The front cover a royal purple with a calla lily on the front. The font is silver, and it's absolutely beautiful. I look at Jace, biting my lip.

"It's so you can count each day, because when you go into remission, you'll want to remember exactly what you went through, or at least I would."

"But Jace, what if I don't go into remission?"

"You will. And I'll be right here when you do." I open the journal and Jace has written on the first page. My breath catches in my throat. I can't wait to read it, so I don't.

_My dear sweet princess, _

_I hope that when you open this, we're together and you're feeling well. I saw this and I knew it had to be yours. You have touched my very soul and you've mended a broken heart. I never thought that I'd meet someone that I feel for like I do for you. _

_My heart is already so intertwined with yours, I can't wait for the day that I can say that you're my wife, because for the first time, I know that this is going to last. You've made me the happiest man alive when I thought that I was damaged beyond repair. When all I saw was a cowardly boy that was too scared to get close to anyone, you made me a friend and never pushed me out like everyone else in my life had. You saw a man worth getting to know, and someone that you wanted in your life. What you see in me, I'll never know. _

_Getting to know you over the past two months has been one of my greatest privileges, and I can't wait to know everything there is to know about you, Liliana Claire. You've changed my life, you've changed my outlook, you've changed me. It still astounds me that you want to be mine. You are the most beautiful person I've ever met, Liliana. _

_Holding you is the best part of my every day. Your smile never fails to brighten everything, even when it seemed so dark. When I thought I wasn't going to make it, you came into that principal's office and shook my world upside down. _

_The memories we've made are priceless, and I can't wait to make a million more. _

_-Jace_

The tears hit the paper and I bite down into my lip. Should I tell him? Should I say it? I don't want to get a negative response in front of my family and friends, so I hold my tongue.

"It's beautiful. Just like you. Just like the memories."

"I'm glad you like it, princess."

"There's one more thing, Liliana." Josu's voice startles me from staring at Jace.

He puts another Pandora box in front of me. I open it with shaking hands, I still feel punchdrunk from Jace's letter. On first look, it looks like just a circular charm. I look closer at it, looking at the inscription. I do a double and then a triple take. I look at in shock.

Because the charm says "aunt."

"Are you kidding me? Is this happening? Oh my gods, guys! I'm so excited! Kaalia! Oh my gods!"

"He or she will be here in late June or the beginning of July."

Avacyn has a huge smile on her face too. I can't believe they're having a baby. All at once, a horrible feeling strikes me and the nausea that abated just a bit when we got here is back in full force. I get up, tripping over Josu and sprint toward the trashcan outside the door. I hear someone get up, and whether it's Jace or Josu, I have no idea. The milkshake makes a reappearance and I feel Jace's hand on my back.

"Neither of you can leave me alone to puke, can you?"

"No, we can't. But it's just me. I think hearing you gag set Kaalia off."

"Awesome, that means we'll be triggering each other for the next nine months."

"Jace, what if I don't get to meet them? What if I miss their life?"

"You won't. You're going to get better. You just got a new reason to fight."

I retch again and I look up at Jace, who looks like he's seen a ghost. He hands me his keys.

"Go get in the Jeep. Lock the doors. Don't open them. It doesn't matter who comes to the door. Don't open it unless it's me or Josu."

"What's going on?" I say, slightly scared my voice rattles.

"Just go. Please."

His voice is pleading with me so I do as he asks. As I do, a car pulls up and parks two spots away from the Jeep.

"What are you doing here, boy? Have you fallen recently? Because you're sure acting like you have some sort of head injury."

"It's my girlfriend's birthday, I told you that last night. Can you please, just for once, leave me the hell alone?"

"You know, you must have inherited that mouth of yours from your father and your disrespect for my authority from your mother."

"What did I fucking tell you about talking about my father? Or my mother?"

I sink down lower in the Jeep, hoping not to draw any attention. I don't know what I'm going to do if he hits Jace. Do I go get Josu? I grip my phone like a vice, ready to call for his help at any time. I'm scared that my staccato breaths are going to attract unwanted notice.

"This girl seems to have a vice grip around you- enjoy your time. Because you won't be seeing her again."

My heart triple times in my chest. Can he do that? Is he going to take Jace from me? Tears start stinging at the corner of my eyes at the very thought of losing him. Bile is pushing its way into my mouth. Not now. Not here. I can't throw up right now. I put my head between my knees and plead with the eternities for it to be anywhere but here.

Jace will make a way. I will make a way. This man will not keep me from the love of my life, even if I'm too scared to tell him that's what he is. Our eyes meet, and in that moment, I know I have nothing more to worry about. He won't keep us apart. I look up, and Josu is coming out the door.

"Is there a problem here?"

"Josu, no, everything's fine. Walk Lili back in."

"This is family business, child."

"I know. That's why I'm out here. Anything you have to say to Jace or to my sister can be said to me."

"You think you're cute, coming out here, you think you're saving him? He's not your family. He's nothing but a spoiled rotten child who never learned to respect authority."

"If you say one more word about Jace, because clearly you must have forgotten his name, I'll put your face into the pavement."

"Are you threatening to me, Frenchie?"

"That is not a threat. It's a promise."

Mister Karlov walks out from the diner as my brother is standing toe to toe with this man, the Russian's voice booming over the chaos.

"I thought I told you to leave him alone, and that if you ever came back on this premises again that I would have you arrested? Leave, Tezzeret. Now!"

He gets in the car and spins tires out of the parking lot just as I open the door and vomit directly onto Jace's and Josu's shoes.

"Oh my goodness! I'm sorry!"

"It's not.." they both start.

"I want to go home."

"Okay, princess. Josu, I'm so sorry. I.."

"Don't apologize. The actions of one person do not reflect on all who know them, Jace. You know that. It's not your fault."

Josu makes to hand Mr. Karlov the money for the meals, but Mr. Karlov refuses it.

"Jace took care of it before you all came today. Just leave a tip for the staff."

Josu looks at Jace and he just smiles like he hadn't irked him. I nod my head, putting it back between my knees to see if I can abate some of this vicious nausea.

"You're staying with me tonight, Jace, and probably the rest of this week, too. I'm not asking."

"Might be a good idea. I need to get her home though, if she's feeling better, I'll go by the mall tonight and get shoes- and I know she wants to say goodbye to her friends."

"They're coming back with me too. I'll see you when we get there."

Jace's strong, sure hand rubs circles on my back, his breathing is uneven. I look at him and the look he gives me in response is one of I've never seen on Jace's visage.

"Princess, are you okay? I'm getting you home."

"I don't need to go home.."

"Baby, you, your head is on fire and your heart is beating out of your chest."

"Jace…"

I squeeze his hand and my head droops. The next thing I hear is Jace literally screaming at me.

"Liliana! Lili! Please. Wake up. I need you to talk to me."

"I..I'm okay.."

The last thing I remember is him moving me from the seat of the Jeep.

"Don't try to talk, just squeeze my hand, okay…"

I nod, nuzzling into his neck. And then the dark came.

It swallowed me whole.


	17. How to Save a Life

(Jace Beleren)

Three days, six hours, twenty seven minutes. Liliana has been in the hospital, basically in a medically induced coma for three days six hours, and twenty seven minutes. I haven't been home, I don't want to deal with Tezzeret. Josu and I have been switching off sleeping. He's at home with Kaalia now, and I'm just here, waiting. Watching. Waiting.

She makes a sniffing noise and begins to fight against the oxygen cannula in her nose. My hands find hers.

"Liliana! Lili. You're fine. You're in the hospital. I'm right here and Josu will be back soon."

"Jace? Jace!"

"I'm right here, princess. We're in the hospital. You're okay. You're fine. Let me call the nurse and let them know you're awake. You're okay, baby…"

She outstretches her arms and go to her, pulling her close to me. She's scared and she's in pain; I try my best to calm her. Her heart is going crazy, and her blood pressure is out of whack.

"Jace. I can't do this anymore. I can't. I'm not strong enough. Please don't hate me. I can't do this anymore."

"You can! I promise." Her body is covered in sweat, she's got to be running a fever. I hit the nurse button incessantly, someone needs to hurry up and get in here. Her blood pressure keeps rising, and in this moment, everything that I love is nearly ripped away from me in one fatal swoop. Liliana's broken feverish body slumps against me, her head hitting my shoulder. I shake her. Nothing. Not a peep, not a movement.

"Liliana! Lili! Princess!" Her body is dead weight against mine. I shake her, pleading. There is no breath in her lungs. I put my hand to her neck, searching. Nothing. Not a beat. No pulse.

There is a resounding, long, unceasing beep. There is a yell from the nurse station that I can hear across the floor.

"Call a code!"

_A code? She's dead?! She died in my arms? _

The code team pushes me out of the way and starts performing CPR on my girlfriend. There is a sickening crunch of bone and as these people are pumping her heart for her, there is a charge of electricity. There is a strangled sob in my chest as I hear Josu's voice.

"YOU ARE GOING TO LET ME IN THERE!"

"Charge to two hundred!"

"CLEAR!"

Everyone jumps back, and they try to kickstart Liliana's heart. There is a beep, beep, beep from the machine. It worked. The man removes the AMBU bag, she's breathing on her own. The nurse pumps her full of Ativan to basically sedate her again, to let her body heal itself as much as it can. I pull the blanket over her chest while the nurse goes out to get her a new gown, Josu comes in. He puts his hand on Liliana's head, expelling a breath. He feels her pulse and drops his head, kissing her forehead.

"_She coded, Josu. _She died. _She died in my arms!" _

"At least it was you and not some arbitrary nurse."

"I plan on being here for the rest of her life."

"I know."

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Thursday, Liliana's eyes flutter open again. Josu is at work, he's been working nights at their father's company while I go to school. I'm in the room when she wakes.

"Hey princess."

"Jace. Where am I? What day is it?"

"You're in Hopkins, sweetie. It's been a long week. It's Thursday. You've missed almost two weeks of school."

"Oh, no. What's happened?"

"You had a bit of a decline. Doctor Trostani has been pumping you full of all types of drugs. You're also officially on the transplant list as of today."

"Great. I thought it would probably come to that."

"You have an appointment with her next week."

"Awesome."

"We need to talk."

"Oh my god, you're leaving me, aren't you? I can't blame you, honestly. I'm too sick to be loved, but thank you for trying…"

"Lili. No. Shut up."

"What? I don't blame you."

"Liliana Claire Vess. You coded in my arms. Your heart stopped beating. Your breath stopped. I held your listless body close to mine and felt you slump against me. In that moment, my heart stopped. I love you and I will love you every day for the rest of my life. I love you every single second of every single day, it's like you're a drug, a disease that I don't want a cure from. I love you more than I've ever loved anything or anyone. I love you and I want to love you for the rest of your life, for as long as I can, as much as I can and in every way I can. I love you and I'm never, ever letting you go."

I fold her into my arms and place my lips to hers. She feels normal, she wraps her arms around my neck and I pull her close, I feel tears from her hit my face and I pull back, scared.

"What's wrong, princess?"

"Jace, I, I love you. I love you and I don't know how to. I love you and it scares me. I love you more and harder than I ever loved anything and I'm scared to lose you, scared that this will become too much. That it'll take too much out of you. I love you. Je t'aime. I just, _je ne sais pas_, I don't know. I love you and I'm scared. I'm not scared of dying. I'm scared of losing you."

"You're not doing this alone. And I promise you. I promise you that you're not fighting this alone. You will forever be my always."

"Jace…"

I pull the small box out from my jacket pocket. I hope she likes it.

It's a necklace. It's a small, ornate rose. There's a small ruby in the center and Liliana looks down and it up at me.

"It's beautiful..Is this.. was this?"

"Yes, Liliana."

"Jace..I…I..I can't."

"You will."

I fasten the clasp around her neck. She looks down at it and then back up at me. She pulls me close to her and kisses me softly, my chest touching hers. I know that she's not up to anything so I pull back, causing her to poke her lip out.

"Je t'aime."

"I love you too, princess."

"I want to feel your skin on mine, Jace. I'm not trying to be sexual, just I… I.. I need to be close to you."

"I promise you. Once you're feeling better, you and I will take a trip and you'll get to. One more thing, Liliana. This, this is my promise. This is promise to love you for the rest of my life. I love you, so please, just let me."

"I promise, I'm giving over to this. To you. I hope this life and the life I left behind aren't too much for you. Because I can't lose you."

She moves over to my lap and wraps her legs around my waist and pulls me into a kiss.

"Liliana.."

"I'm fine, please, please.."

I can't tell her no. Her eyes are begging me and I've been apart from her for far too long. I put my hand on the back of her head and pull her into me. Her mouth tastes like methotrexate. I grip her hips and she moans into my mouth and every bit of me wants to push her back and make love to her, but this isn't the place, or the time, and god knows she's not up to it.

"I want you. So badly. I have fantasized for so long about you being at the back of my throat and feeling you move inside of me."

My pants feel like they're two sizes too small suddenly. Dear fucking shit. Seriously? How am I supposed to respond to that?"

"We'll talk about it when you blow this joint, princess."

"If you'd just let me blow you, I'd be happier."

"Liliana. Don't. As much as I'd like to let you, you are so not helping me. What am I going to do about this if Josu walks in?"

"Let me help you get it down?"

"Besides, I don't want you rushing into anything. I'm not taking your virginity until you're beyond sure that you want it to be with me."

"I just told you I was!"

"I don't want to push you into anything- and I'm not taking it from you while you're emotional or really fucking horny. This will be something we plan in advance. I'm doing this right. My first time was in a closet at a party. I'm not going to do that to you. You are so, so much more than a piece of ass to me."

"So was she, though."

"Yeah, she was. But the feeling wasn't mutual- and even then, it's not what I feel now. You make me believe soulmates exist."

She smiles and bites her lip. That face doesn't do anything for my current situation and she knows it.

She giggles and drops her head. I tip her head up and kiss her softly and slowly, she plants a kiss on my neck and lies her head on my shoulder.

"Am I on liquids?"

"No, you're not, are you hungry? Is there anything in particular you want? I'll go get whatever you want to eat, princess."

"You can probably guess."

"Spaghetti, right? But that means I don't have to leave. They'll deliver it. Is Josu going to be back anytime soon?"

"I just texted him. He said that something came up, so I don't know. Why?"

"Because I was going to order food for him and Kaalia?"

"Oh. No. Will you help me get in the shower? I feel disgusting."

"Of course."

A lump comes up in my throat. I can't pretend like I haven't thought about her naked form before. But this isn't sexual.

She unhooks herself from her IV and reaches out to me. I help her up, and she's shaky on her feet, but she gets her footing after a few seconds. She puts most of her weight on me and we get there, one step at a time.

She tries to untie the gown but I do it for her. It drops as I kiss her neck. I can't help but gasp.

"I know I look sick…"

I clap a hand over her mouth. She closes her eyes.

"You're beautiful. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

"Jace.."

"Make sure that you're not in there too long and that the water's not too hot, Princess. I'll be out here. Call me if you need me."

A few minutes pass and she calls for me. She's trying to get dressed but not having much luck, seeing as she's scared to let go of the railing. Her underwear have a winky face on them.

"I like those. I'm going to make it my goal to get them."

"You should take them off. With your teeth."

"What on earth has gotten into you?"

"Morphine. And lots of it."

"Point taken."

She gets dressed and we make our way out to her room just as there is a knock on the door. Assuming it's the delivery guy, I grab some cash and open it as she settles herself on her bed, pulling my hat on and pulling the tray over. I'm greeted by two dark haired, blue eyed individuals that I've never seen before. I look back at Liliana and she looks like she's seen a ghost.

"Mother. Father."

My eyes grow wide as I step back to let them in, frantically looking for Josu or Kaalia behind them. Did they don't even know that this was going to happen?

"Jace…" she pats the bed beside her. I sit, holding her hand.

"And who is this young man, Liliana?" The Frenchman sounds cross, cold. I don't like it. Josu's eyes are his exactly, but they have none of the warmth that Josu's do.

"This is Jace, my boyfriend, Father. I told you and Mother about him last time we talked, told you about all the pictures; did you not even listen?"

"And why on earth do you think it is permissible to enter a relationship with a young man that we don't know, especially given your current condition?"

"Because he loves me."

"Is that what he told you?"

"Where is Osu? My head hurts."

"Don't change the subject, young lady, your father asked you a question."

"Yes. He told me that. And I can see it in every part of him, hear it in every word, feel it in every touch, hug, kiss. For the first time, I'm happy; happier than I ever was in Montreal. I have Osu and Kaalia; I have a man who has been there for me through my whole sickness. I coded in his arms, Mother. _I died. _My heart stopped. And he's still here. Excuse me for trying to find happiness when every moment could be my last. Your money can't take the cancer away. _Where is Josu?_"

"I'll call him, princess."

I peck her on the head and step out in the hallway to call him. However, he's stepping off the elevator.

"Jace? Is Liliana okay?"

"She's fine- but your parents are in there. Did you know?"

"What? No, I had no idea."

We step into the room together and Liliana is nearly screaming at her parents.

"No! I am NOT coming back to Montreal. I won't leave Jace and Josu and Kaalia are here!"

"Fine, Liliana. The rumors are becoming ridiculous, as you two very well know."

"Is that all you care about? Do you not care that Doctor Trostani is the only doctor in North America that treats aggressive blood cancers with as much success as she has, but no. You only care about your image. You two were supposed to be our biggest champions and you are nothing, nothing more than a face! Why did you come here if you didn't care?!" Liliana's voice is cracking and I can't blame her. If my child had cancer, I'd never leave their side.

"Get out. She doesn't need this."

"Josu, you don't… She is not your child."

"Yes, I do. She is in MY CUSTODY and I am saying GET OUT. Either come back when you care about your children or don't come back at all. She is happy and she is loved. No thanks to either of you. But the people in this room-and Kaalia- apart from you are the people that are fighting for her, that fight for her every single day. It doesn't matter to me what you think of Jace, he is part of my family now. So accept it or get out. Don't try to fight me for custody of her, either, wouldn't want that on the front of the tabloids, would you?"

"Josu Tobias.."

"Don't. I am a grown man and I will no longer be bullied. And those rumors, you created them. I wouldn't have had to raise her if you had done your job as parents. But don't get it twisted, because she is and always will be my blessing. But don't blame Lili and I for your shortcomings. The two people in this room that you produced did a damn fine job with nobody but each other."

"Jace.."

"I'm right here, Lili. Osu and I are right here. We're not going anywhere. I love you so much, princess."

There is another sharp knock on the door- that has to be dinner. I go to answer it and I'm not disappointed.

"I didn't know you'd be here, Josu.."

"Don't worry about it. I was just checking in before going home to Kaalia. And they are coming with me whether they like it or not. Do you work tomorrow?"

"No, Saturday and Sunday mornings."

"She should be out by Saturday, if she doesn't spike a fever."

"I'll see you two tomorrow. I love you both."

He walks out the door without so much as a word, and his parents follow him. He meant business.

"He makes me miss Kallist."

"Oh, Jace.."

"It's not your fault and it's not a bad thing. I just wish you two could have met, you two would have been best friends and fast."

"Come here, my love."

I walk silently over to her bed and sit down. However, she has different plans. She scoots toward me and motions for me to get behind her. She wants me to be the big spoon, and after the week we've had, I can't say that I blame her. I pull her hospital blanket around us and then wrap my arms around her, tightly.

"I'm sorry for that, Jace. But they'll probably be gone tomorrow. They don't care much for the United States and now that they've been shot down, they'll head back. We'll see them at Christmas, I'm sure. You are coming to Montreal, right?"

"Of course, I have nothing here if you're not here."

I kiss her on the forehead and heave a heavy sigh.

"What?"

"Nothing, Lili."

"What is it, Jace? You know you can tell me anything."

"I don't understand, how can they even consider themselves parents? I'll shut up. It's not really my business."

"It is, because you are in my life and I don't want your useless uncle hurting you, just like you don't want my parents to hurt me. Those words, earlier, Jace, I know we both meant them. So I am your business just like you're mine. Because that's how relationships work, I guess. I just don't ever want you to have to hurt again."

"You're perfect," I say, kissing the top of her head and pulling her close to me.

"I'm really not, but I think I might be perfect for you."

"Didn't I tell you that once?"

"You did. And I'm so glad you talked me into this, because it's my best decision yet."

She curls into my chest, yawning. She closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep, and I follow behind soon after, reveling in the fact that after all of this, she's in my arms again.

She can say what she wants, but this is my definition of perfection, because it's ours.


	18. A Different Kind of Love

_**ENJOY GUYS! Ravnica High and Sculpted Shadows by the end of the week! **_

_**(Liliana Vess) **_

"Princess? It's time to wake up. We have to go to school."

"I don't feel well at all."

"I know. You have to get up though, sweetie. You have the doctor's appointment in a few days and she'll help. You can do it. Come on baby, you have to get up."

"No, we can stay here and cuddle."

"Don't make me be mean, I don't want to take your blankets."

"I still don't have a wig! I can't go to school without hair!"

"We're going today after school, love. You can wear my hat for today."

"Are you two awake?"

"Ugh."

"That's my girl. Get up, Liliana."

.

I give the closed door the middle finger and go moodily over to my closet. I pull out my favorite jeans and a white scoopnecked shirt, yank Jace's hat off of the hook and stomp off to the bathroom to get dressed and brush my teeth.

Ugh. The flavor of the toothpaste is disgusting. And between Josu and Jace I have no chance of skipping breakfast.

Jace has been staying with us for the past few days. Josu has point blank told him that he can move in and he would go over there to help him get his things and dare Tezzeret to say something. But Jace is being really stubborn, and he and Josu have been having a lot of hush-hush discussions which really, really irks me. Maybe because I've been spoiled my whole life, but them not including me on whatever they are talking about bugs me. Badly. I can't think about it without getting upset. They both know I hate surprises and I don't understand what they feel the need to hide. God. I'm getting upset about it again and I don't want to fight with Jace or Josu so I just put my smile on and head out to the kitchen. I pop a cinnamon raisin bagel into the toaster and fumble with my necklace, turning it around so that the clasp is in the back. Everytime I touch it, I feel close to Jace, but there is almost an overwhelming sadness that I will never get to know this person that was so special to him.

I was right. My parents went back to Montreal before I got out of the hospital. I want to cut all ties with them, go to college and find my own way but it's not ever going to happen.

Jace wraps his arms around me from behind and nuzzles my neck, kissing slowly and softly on the sensitive skin there. He pulls my hips into his and I can't help but moan quietly.

"I love you so much, princess, " his lips are at my ear and it makes gooseflesh erupt on my arms.

"I love you too, _mon cher._"

"We have to go to the doctor today, love."

"Yes, don't remind me. Eight hours of suffering through school and then I get to be poked and prodded for another two," I sigh.

"At least it's November now- we get out of school for Thanksgiving in two weeks. And then we have a week to take exams before Christmas break."

"Yes, and we get to leave for Montreal the next day. A _month _that I get to spend with you and Avy and all of our friends, and I only have one treatment a week as long as I keep my counts up."

I turn to my drawer of medicines and begin to count out pills for this morning and for lunch, Jace zipping up my book bag and beginning to make the trek out to the car. I blocked his Jeep in last night, so I toss him the keys to my car. Josu walks down the steps, clothed in a khaki sport suit, a white dress shirt, and a emerald green bow tie.

"Don't you look spiffy this morning, _mon frère._"

"Uncle is coming down for a board meeting at three- so I'll be late. Kaalia is on nights this week. You and Jace are going to Doctor Trostani after school, yes?"

"Yes, Osu. And then I'm going to attempt to find a wig, but I may just end up ordering one offline." 

"Is he staying the night?"

"He hasn't said."

"He needs to just go get his stuff, I've tried to convince him, but it's not working. He still insists on keeping up the appearances."

"You understand that, I do too."

"_C'est vrai_.. it's true. But anyways, please be careful and tell me what she says. I'll have my phone and laptop if you need me, and so does Kaalia. _Je t'aime." _

I hear Josu leave just as Jace comes back in. I pull his faded Duke baseball cap on and get ready to head out the door.

"So I'm taking you on a date this weekend. It was going to be a surprise but I want to tell you now so you can be prepared."

"Okay, what kind of date?"

"We're going to see Duke play Maryland Friday night- if you want to of course. But a friend from North Carolina wanted to get rid of the tickets, and we need a date night."

"Of course I want to, I have something that I was waiting to show you but now you'll see it Friday. What color hair do I want? Do blondes really have more fun?"

"I'd really, really prefer if you didn't go blonde, but do what you want."

"That's why I'm asking you, duh.. I am trying to get a feel for what you like."

"I love your black hair, but if you wanna try something different then now is the time."

"I'm going to get black either way, I'm sure, but do I want a red one? What about pink? Or purple?!"

"Let's not give Josu a coronary, Liliana."

"He'll live. Why no blonde?"

"Because I have had enough blonde in my life for the rest of my life, if you must know."

"Oh. Your ex was blonde. I see. I understand. Just like I would prefer it if you did not shave all of your hair into a Mohawk."

"Trust me, princess. You don't have to worry about that."

"Do you think anyone is going to say anything?"

"It doesn't matter if they do. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and none of those other girls could pull off bald like you do, baby."

"You are so sweet to me. I don't deserve you, my love."

"You deserve the world- now let's get this day over with, because you look nauseated all to hell. I put your medicine in your bookbag."

"The bagel was a bad idea- I should have went with something soft. I just want to curl around you and sleep for a million years."

"Sounds like a solid plan to me."

He walks over to the door and helps me out, placing a soft kiss on my lips and crushing me into his chest. I think the debacle the other week has scared him and he wants to make sure I know how much he loves me. I can't complain. Jace is what makes me feel secure, safe. I took a risk letting him into my life. But he's perfect.

There is about two minutes to the bell, and we walk into the classroom. Heliod takes one look at us as I walk over to Liliana's desk to sit her stuff next to her.

"Hat off, Miss Vess. It's breaking dress code, as you very well know."

I'm completely thunderstruck for a moment. Why would he ask me to take it off? I don't even have eyebrows and everyone in this classroom knows I'm completely bald. I guess it doesn't matter anyways.

"Don't. You don't have to do that."

"I don't think you make the rules here, Mister Beleren. You may care for her, but that doesn't excuse your insubordination."

"You're trying to humiliate her! You've had it out for both of us since we were late starters and since I tried to hydrate her. She's not going to take that hat off. You nor anyone else get to see her that vulnerable! I'll be damned if you're going to humiliate the woman I love in front of a bunch of people who treat her like a leper anyway."

"Jace, it's okay.. It's not a big deal. It's really not. Sit down, _amour_. Please."

"Either he lets you keep the hat on or I'm calling in the calvary."

"Jace, no.."

"Take the hat off, Miss Vess. Sit down, Mister Beleren. And see me after class."

"Don't you do it, Liliana Claire. Don't."

I drop my head, wishing a portal would open up and swallow me so I didn't have to be here. I don't want to and Jace is right, I shouldn't have to. It _is _humiliating. I've been an outsider because I'm not American, because I'm sick, and in some eyes, I lured Jace into an unfair relationship. That I made him get attached to me whilst I'm knocking on death's door. This is just a way to further ostracize me from my peers. Hot tears start stinging at my eyes. Damn it, not here. Not here.

Jace realizes what's going on and pulls me into him, but not before pulling out his phone.

"Mister Beleren! Put the phone away! Go to the office! Now!"

Jace ignores him, I hear the familiar dial tone that's unique to my father's company. The rings are cut short when Josu picks up the phone.

"Vess Airlines, Josu speaking."

"Hey, Osu. Liliana and I are in class at school and this douche bag is trying to make her take off the hat she's wearing. I told him you wouldn't appreciate that very much, but he's still insisting. I thought you might want to have a say in this."

"I'm on my way. Take her up to the office. I'll make your excuses. This man has no idea the hornet's nest that he's just kicked. Thank you for calling me. We'll get this straight. I love you both." The phone clicks and the line goes dead.

"Come on, Princess. He's dug his own grave. Osu's on his way."

"Are you trying to intimidate me, Mister Beleren? I am not scared of Miss Vess' father in the least."

"Yeah, I'm not either. But her brother is going to make you pay for trying to humiliate her. I would too, if I wouldn't go to jail."

"Jace!"

We walk out of the classroom and Jace grabs my hand. I don't know what we've gotten ourselves into now, but we are waist deep in shit and we both know it. I don't know how I feel about this, but surely Josu will know what to do, he always does.

"I could have just taken it off. It's not the end of the world."

"He was being an asshole and deserved to be called out on it, Liliana."

"You're probably going to get suspended, honestly."

"I don't really care at this point, as long as I finish. I had planned on going to Maryland and taking some photography and design classes but there's a wrench in that plan now."

"What is that?"

"Because if you decide to go back to Montreal, I'm coming too. I promised you forever and that's what I meant. As long as you're willing to work on it and be with me then I am too."

"Can you see a future past a few weeks, Jace? It hurts to hope any farther than that."

"That's just it, though. Hope is the only thing that gets me through. Hope that you'll be okay and that you won't disappear like everyone else does. Hope that one day, I won't have a gaping hole in my heart because I miss Kallist so much. Hoping that you keep fighting. Hope that Josu and Kaalia continue to see something in me. Hope that I can be half the parent my mother was. Hope that your parents will stop hurting you and Josu. I have to hope. It's the only thing that's keeping me breathing. Yeah, it hurts. But it hurts a hell of a whole lot more to imagine my life without you and your family in it."

Every fiber of my being wants to kiss Jace right now, to feel the closeness that I need and the hope that he's talking about.

"It's dangerous, though."

"So was falling in love, Lili."

That much is true. When we get to the office, Josu is already there. Principal Niv Mizzet sighs and takes a long, even look at Jace.

"I have to call your guardian, Jace."

"You're looking at him," Josu says. It's almost a snarl, as if he's asking the principal or the secretary to challenge his authority. "He's lived with my wife and I for almost a month."

"Mister Vess- we've already called his uncle. What he did was very insubordinate."

"So him wanting to protect his girlfriend, my sister, from humiliation is insubordinate? That's not being insubordinate, that's being a human being!"

Josu's kindly face is menacing. He wraps one arm around me in a show of solidarity,

"If either of them is punished because of this you will be looking at a lawsuit. And you don't want me to do that. You don't understand exactly how much pull I could have."

"What are you implying, Mister Vess?

"I'm implying that I will sue you- and make no mistake- my lawyers are better than any this menial district can provide you or him with. Iwill _own _this district and I will have this teacher's job."

At that exact moment, Heliod crosses into the office. He sits down beside Josu and attempts to shake his hand, but my brother recoils in disgust and distaste.

"Why have you been target my sister and her boyfriend, my future brother in law, since the beginning of school? What you did was humiliating to both of them!"

"I have not targeted them! I expect her to follow the rules just like the rest of them!"

"_She is sick_, you bastard. She can't! She needs accommodations! The hat included!"

"She should be in private school then, she is still expected to adhere.."

"I'm done here. I'm withdrawing Liliana today, and if I hear that you punish Jace, I will slap you with a lawsuit even bigger than the one I am going to draft with my lawyers today. I want you to know exactly who you've messed with. Vess Airlines and The law offices of Isperia will be in touch with you. Come on, you two. I'm sure they're sending you home anyways, Jace."

"Mister Vess! You can't just leave!"

"I can, and I will."

Jace and I both get up and follow him out the door, but when we make it to the foyer, Tezzeret is standing there. Jace swallows, audibly. My breath catches in my throat and I cling tightly to Jace's hand, and my brother steps in front of the pair of us.

"What have you done now, boy?"

"I've taken care of it." Josu says evenly.

Josu begins to walk away and Jace and I follow him. Tezzeret stands behind us in the foyer of the school with a face mangled by hate and disgust.

"Jace, you're abandoning your family for _this bitch? _You could have at least picked someone who didn't have one foot in the grave!"

My brother's face has never in my life scared me so much. He turns to face Tezzeret, his voice smooth, low and deadly.

"_Excuse me?" _


	19. Solidarity

"I think you heard me, Frenchie. She's got one foot in the casket and he's went and fell in love with her."

"She's going to be fine; Her counts are up a lot higher than they were two weeks ago!"

"He's not your family."

"I'm certainly not yours, old man. I've made that much clear."

"Jace, let's just go. Come on."

Liliana pulls my arm and tries to get me to move, but both Josu and myself are completely frozen. I have a feeling this is going to get completely out of hand if I don't put a stop to it, and now.

"You're right, princess. Lets go get lunch. Osu?"

Josu is still frozen. He and Lili were not exactly let out much as children, I've gathered. They lived in Montreal sheltered away from the world. They went out when they were told to and otherwise, they stayed within their tight knit clique. Josu has honestly never met anyone as openly cruel as Tezzeret is. He's never had anyone attack him or his sister other than paparazzi, and even then, it's motivated by money and not cruelty. Now, someone is being cruel to him just for the sake of being mean.

"You're right, you two, we should leave."

"He's not going anywhere with you or the walking corpse, he's going with his family."

"You're right, Tezzeret."

Liliana and Josu both look completely flabbergasted. They should know me better than this by now.

"I'm going with my family. Josu, Lili, are we going to lunch or not? I'll be by sometime this week to get the rest of my stuff. You yourself said that you don't want me with a walking corpse and you want me with my family. I'm going with my brother and my future wife. My family. So you made this decision."

Josu's grin can't be contained and Lili just shakes her head. We go to walk out together when he grabs my arm and holds me back.

"What part of no do you not understand, Beleren?"

"Get your hands off of him."

"You don't make decisions for him, Frenchie."

"I think we should take this elsewhere, don't you, Jace?"

"I think that's a great idea, Osu. How bout I take Lili over to hang out with Kaalia for a few minutes and to get some pain meds, and I'll meet you at his house to get the rest of my clothes and stuff? Or do you want to ride with me?"

"Or Lili can come too?"

Both Josu and I look at Lili with a look that plainly says nice try, but no. I'm not going to put her in a situation like that, because if he puts his hands on her it will go from the inevitable fight, whether physical or verbal to murder, and I'm not putting any of us in that situation. Liliana can go back to the house.

We leave Tezzeret standing in the foyer of the school as we all walk out. Liliana has her arms crossed.

"I'm not putting you into a situation where you can get hurt, Liliana. I'm just not. Josu and I will be fine alone, but if he puts his hands on you, what's the reaction going to be? Princess, I'm not saying you're incapable. You're not. You're the strongest person I know. Just let me protect you, just this once. This isn't your battle, love."

"But it is! You two and Kaalia are the only thing in my life that matters! What if you get hurt? What if Osu gets hurt?"

"_Ma petite souer, _I will be fine. Do you think I'd let anything happen to Jace? Have I not always protected you?"

"Osu.."

"Have I or have I not?"

"You know you have."

"So let me. I'm not putting you in that situation. The last thing you need is to get all worked up over this, _ma petite lis. _You don't need to send yourself into a downward spiral. Remember last time when it ended up that you were in the hospital for three weeks? I can't let you do that again, Lili. I can' , please. Let me take care of it."

"And the whole point of a relationship, princess, is taking care of each other. Because you took care of my broken heart, I'm going to protect you from this. I can't protect you from your body, from your own blood cells, but I'll be damned if I don't protect you from everything else. I love you too much to let you get hurt because of something that I caused. It'll all be worth it soon, assuming Josu lets me marry you."

Josu coughs and she giggles. I wrap my arm firmly around her waist and we continue walking to the Jeep. Josu agrees to meet us at Hopkins in about an hour, so we can get some food in her before the pain medicine. Hopefully I'll be back in time for her doctor's appointment as well. I pull into the diner, knowing that it is the safest place, as Mr. Karlov with throw Tezzeret out and call the police if he shows up.

"Why do you and Osu refuse to let me fight my own battles?"

"Because you're already fighting your body, princess. Like I said earlier, this is going to curve some of the drama."

"Okay, whatever."

"Please don't be angry."

"I'm not dead and I'm not made of glass!"

"You went into tachycardia last time your blood pressure went out of whack. You coded in my arms, Lili. I'm not fucking budging. Be mad if you want to. It's not going to change anything. You're smart and you know exactly why you can't be part of this. Please think,"

She cuts me off.

"You've been hanging around Josu for far too long! You promised me that you wouldn't treat me like I'm terminal and that's exactly what you are doing! I expect this out of him, Jace! Not you!"

"Liliana! I'm not treating you like you're terminal. But goddammit, I won't lose you again. I don't care if you're mad if you're still alive."

"I thought that you'd be different than Avy and Gray when they found out, but they acted like I couldn't do anything, acting exactly like you are now."

"This isn't about you having cancer, it's about lessening the drama with Tezzeret and making sure you're okay."

"Why are you treating me like a child?"

"You're not exactly acting like the most mature person in the world right now."

She gives me a look full of venom and malice and doesn't speak to me for the rest of the meal. When we pull up to Hopkins she grudgingly kisses me on the cheek and stomps into the hospital. _Awesome. _

Josu hops into the passenger side of my Jeep and as I pull out of the hospital, he heaves a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Jace. Are you okay?"

"She's pissed off at both of us."

"She'll get over it. You could have waited and made me the bad guy if you wanted."

"She accused me of treating her like a terminal patient, even when I promised her I wouldn't. She punched me in the damn heart with that one. Because I love her, you know. I just want her to be happy. But her safety is more important than momentary happiness."

"That's how I know you love her, Jace. You're more concerned with the long run than just right now."

"She said she can't even see a month in the future, it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong."

"She can't see into the future because she thinks she's going to die. Hopefully we can find a donor soon, it would make things easier. Exponentially. The problem is that Lili is a rare blood type. Kaalia and I aren't matches. We got tested before we left Montreal. That's why we left Montreal to live here. So we could get the treatment from Doctor Trostani while we waited on a donor, basically."

"Is there a way that I can get tested?"

"We don't expect you to.."

"Josu, shut up. When and where can I get tested?"

"The problem is that you can't sign for yourself to get tested. Because you're still a minor."

"Is there a way I can go to court and get completely emancipated from Tezzeret?"

"Well, yes. But the problem with that is that it's so slow, you'd be eighteen before it could happen."

"So basically, I can get tested when I turn eighteen."

"Yes, if that's what you want."

"It is. How could it not be, Josu? She's my everything!"

"Unless she has a drastic downturn, she will be fine until March. In which case, she'd get bumped up on the list. But we're hoping that doesn't happen."

"Why did you not tell me about this sooner?"

"Because, Jace, we were putting our faith in the chemo. It has been helping but it's not enough."

"Well, on March tenth, I'm getting tested. I have a feeling that I'll be a match."

"Jace, if love could make you a match, I would have been one."

"That's not what I was saying, Josu."

"Just don't get your hopes up. It's dangerous."

"Hope is the only thing stronger than fear, Josu."

We pull up in the driveway, and if everything goes correctly it'll be the last time that I am here. I turn the key in the lock and it seems that Tezzeret isn't here. I can't believe my luck." I start grabbing clothes.

"You need to tell me what you're bringing."

"I don't have a lot of things in here, just clothes and a few things that were my mom's. Just grab the trunk at the end of the bed. Most of my keepsake stuff is in there, the rest is just clothes. Just as I'm grabbing the rest of my jeans, I hear the door open and Tezzeret's voice fill the room

"What part of _you are not leaving don't you understand, boy._"

"Oh I am, I will."

Tezzeret's hand collides first with my shoulder and then the cold metal hits the side of my face. Before I can react, there's a force pulling my shirt from behind, shielding me from the blacksmith. I've never in my life seen Josu's face, which is always so kind, have so much menace on it. Josu brings a left hook around to Tezzeret's jaw, I hear the crunch of bone as soon as it connects. Josu picks Tezzeret up by the neck and throws him against the wall. His mouth is bleeding from the punch, and Josu just stands over him.

"Are you done? Bullying children doesn't make you a man, and if you move, then _I will stop you. _I think it would be wise for you to stop, before I call the police and tell them I felt that you threatened my well being and the well being of a minor."

"You'll get sick of his attitude soon enough, Frenchie. What's going to happen when your bitch of a sister dies and both of you are left with nothing?"

"Keep your mouth shut about my sister if you value your teeth, bastard."

"No, that's the one that you're defending. He's the one that never knew his father."

I make to walk over there but Josu holds up a hand. He's right. There doesn't need to be anymore bloodshed.

"Let him run his mouth. He knows he's lost and is trying to hurt you. Just get the rest of your things, Jace."

I move about the house and gather up the rest of my things. But before I leave, there's one last thing that I need to do. I walk down the hallway, turn the knob of the door on the right. It still smells like him, even after these months. There are a few things that I'd never let Tezzeret keep. Kal's UNC hoodie, even though it makes me sick. His barely-legal sawed off shotgun, the crossbow, Buckshot's collar, and the photo album. The photo album that I've wanted to show Lili for a few weeks now but that I haven't been able to bring myself to look at.

I dump all of the stuff into the Jeep on top of the two piles that Josu and I have already made. As I walk back into the room, Josu turns his attention to me. I nod.

"Alright. This is how this is going to go. If you try to contact my brother in law, I will call the police. If you show up at my house, I'll call the police. If you threaten my sister, I will call the police. Make no mistake. If you touch my family, I will make sure you rot in prison. You negated any relationship with the young man behind me the first time you put your hands on him."

I turn away, more than ready to leave with Josu. As a show of solidarity, he puts one hand on my shoulder as we walk out. As I shut the door for what will hopefully be the last time, I hear my phone ding.

_WBC counts are through the roof. No immune system. They want to keep me here for at least four days while we try to get it worked on. I'm sorry, and I love you. I understand how breakable I am. Please come to me soon. Make sure Osu is with you. I hope you're safe xoxox _

_I'm on my way, princess. Just got the rest of my stuff. Osu and I are fine. _

_We need to talk. _

_About what? _

I never thought that three words could make my heart stop, my stomach turn, my soul shatter, but they did.

_Do Not Resuscitate. _


	20. Enough

_**Please Enjoy the next installment of LMDE. I will probably update Broken Wings later this week and 7DS this weekend. Please check them out. (I'm dedicating the chapter to: lightning the kid, chosen of markov, thou art my sunshine, rawr lion rawrs, and zabusketch, and they'll know why. Thank you all for being enough. Always. I love you all dearly.)**_

_(Liliana Vess) _

"What the fuck do you mean Do Not Resuscitate, Lili? Where in the name of the Blind Eternities did this even come from?!"

"Can you calm down? Please." My voice, usually strong and sure of itself, is barely more than a squeak. I've never seen Jace act like this. Never. He has never lost his cool with me, not once. I guess I should have anticipated this type of reaction. If this is his, Josu's is going to match him tit for tat, that much is guaranteed.

"Hell no I can't calm down! I want to know why in the name of all things holy that you want to do this?! To yourself! To me! To Josu and Kaalia! What about Luka, Lili?"

"That's not fair! I'm sick, Jace! All the love in the world, no matter who it's from, won't make me well!"

"But my bone marrow might! Finding a donor isn't as impossible as you or your brother make it out to be!"

"But Jace, what if I don't find a donor? My bloodtype-"

"No! You don't get to give up!"

"Jace, my love, please calm down. Please."

"Don't 'my love,' me, Liliana Claire! I want to know why you're doing this!"

"Because I'm sick, Jace!"

"And yet you are constantly screaming about how you're not dead and how Josu and I need to treat you like you're not made of glass, but you want a DNR? In what twisted fucking world does this happen? You say you want a life with me? Bullshit, Liliana! Because if you did, you wouldn't be thinking about this. The words 'Do Not Resuscitate' would not be in our vocabulary! This conversation wouldn't be happening, this fucking document wouldn't be on the table."

He takes it and slings it halfway across the room, turning away from me, very obviously wiping the tears out of his eyes. When he turns back around, the look of fury on his face is unrivaled by any I have ever seen.

"You did this! You did this, Liliana! You made me love you! You pour your heart out to me and run! You died in my goddamn arms, Lili! Your heart stopped beating! You slumped against my body and I thought I had lost you forever! I owe that code team my life, because where would I be without you? How dare you! The only thing I've ever asked of you is that you'd fight. Fight for me. Fight for us. That was the only I've ever asked for and YOU PROMISED ME THAT YOU WOULD! So fuck that goddamned DNR. I'll be damned if I let a fucking piece of paper take you away from me."

"Jace.. I...please."

"I don't want to fucking hear it, Liliana."

"Jace, that's not fair and you damn well know it!"

"I don't care. Does Josu know about this? No, of course he doesn't. He wouldn't put up with this bullshit either."

"No, he doesn't. I wanted to talk to you before him. The only person that knows is Kaalia. Because I knew how you and Josu would react."

"And what does Kaalia have to do with anything? Surely she has the same feeling."

"She said she'd sign it."

"_What?" _

* * *

_(Kaalia Markov-Vess) _

"Sweetheart?"

"_Oui?"_

"I wanted to talk to you before we went up to the hospital to see Liliana."

"Sure. How are you adjusting to Jace being here? I honestly don't think it'll be long until he asks for her hand."

"I knew from the moment that Jace crossed our threshold that he was the one for Liliana. I could see it in his eyes. He looks at her like she hung the moon."

"How long exactly was it before you asked Uncle Sorin?"

"Four months and six days. It just took me a little longer to actually ask."

"Almost a year longer, Josu."

"Don't make fun, I just really love you and I didn't want to mess it up."

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

"Liliana came to me a few days ago about a…"

"A what? Is she pregnant? Oh my god, Kaalia, please tell me she's not pregnant."

"No, no! Absolutely not, and as far as I know she and Jace are still celibate. I don't think she'd lie about it. She's not stupid, Josu."

"I don't either, but what on earth, Kaalia?"

"Josu, sweetheart, she came to me about a DNR."

"_What?" _

I take both of his hands in mine, but he continues to stare at me as if I have just mentioned some disgusting swear, like it's the end of the world. Liliana and I both knew it would be like this, and that's exactly why she asked me to tell him, because she already knew she had to tell Jace. I agreed, because I knew that as hard it would be for her to tell Jace, it would be ten times harder for her to tell her brother what was going on in her mind. That she feels like her fight could become too much. She doesn't feel that way now, but she feels like it could become too much for her little body to overcome if they don't find a donor.

"You told her no, absolutely not, yes? Didn't you? That she can't give up, that she has too much to live for, that we're going to find her a donor?"

"I told her that she had far too much to live for but I understood that this fight could become too much for her if they don't find a donor for her."

"Kaalia, what does that even mean? You can't be entertaining this! She doesn't know what she's saying!"

"Josu, she knows exactly what she's saying. As hard as it for you to accept, she's not a little girl anymore!"

"That's just it! You don't understand! No one understands! She may not be a little girl but goddammit, she's still mine! She is MY LITTLE GIRL. What if it was Luka, Kaalia?! You've never raised a child before! You have no clue! NONE! And it's not your place to sign it for her!"

"Josu, I'm her guardian too. You're blinded! You're incapable of seeing it logically! I love Liliana but I also understand how hard this this is on her! It could very well become too much. We're not talking about going out and signing one tomorrow! This is if she has a drastic, drastic decline and can't make the decision anymore."

"IT IS NOT YOUR DECISION TO MAKE!"

Josu has not once, in the four years that we've been together or the two that we've been married, raised his voice at me. We have always sorted out or fights calmly, because neither one of us has ever seen the point in yelling. This man is so blinded by love, by rage, and grief, that he has become someone I don't recognize.

"She isn't yours. She's always been MY RESPONSIBILITY. You didn't raise her. You have known her but you didn't raise her like I did. You grew up under Sorin's arm, you had a parent, even if it wasn't yours. You had a parent that loved you. I'll be damned if you'll sign any piece of paper that takes her away from me, Kaalia. If you sign that goddamn DNR you've as good as signed your divorce papers."

"Josu! What happened to _FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE?_"

"I said until death do us part, and you're as good as killing a part of me."

"You can't just walk away! You're not leaving just me anymore!"

"Kaalia! How can I trust you if you would do this? If you think this is okay?"

"I'm not signing it, Josu! Your reaction has secured that. But you get to explain to your sister exactly why I'm going back on my word!"

"Gladly."

* * *

_(Liliana Vess)_

"She's telling Josu about it now, actually."

"I can't believe her."

"She's the only one that's on my side!"

"How dare you say I'm not on your side, Liliana Vess! I have been here for you just like Josu and Kaalia have, ever since the day I met you. I'm not on your side?!"

Jace wipes tears from his eyes and walks over to the side of my hospital bed. The brokenness in his eyes and his voice is enough to make me want to crawl into a hole and die. He reaches for my hand and I pull him over to me.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, Jace. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you. I want a future with you. I want everything with you. But I just don't know if I can."

"Have I not given you enough reason to hang on, Princess? I thought I was doing well, I thought that the smile on your face was mine. If I haven't given you enough reason to not sign that paper then I've failed you. And myself."

"No, no, no, Jace, you haven't failed me. You are my heart, my whole heart, I just want to be enough for you and I'm worried I won't be able to. That I won't be able to handle this, that it will eventually break me beyond repair, you and Josu and Kaalia and Luka are my life and I don't want to give that up but I don't want to be your burden either."

"You are NOT my burden, Liliana Claire. You are my gift. My greatest gift. My only love, my whole heart and I cannot live without you! Please don't do this to us. Please fight. For me. We will find a donor, Liliana. Please don't stop fighting. Please let me be enough reason for you to keep fighting. Let me make you my wife. Let me make you a mother. Let me make you mine for the rest of my life."

"You already have, Jace. Please just come here to me. I love you too much to let you go. I don't want to fight with you anymore."

"I won't let go. I'll never let go."

I lean into his chest and he tips my head up, kissing me slowly and softly. Kissing the brokenness of my soul away, letting my spirit seep into his. He promised me that he'd be my rock and I'm going to need it. I need every part of him. His body, his mind, his soul.

"Make love with me."

"I will. When we get to Montreal. When you're a little bit stronger, I'll make you mine."

I nod my head and curl into his chest, losing myself in his embrace. His arms are home. Wherever he is- is where I want to be. There's a sharp knock at the door and I tell them to come in, and it's Kaalia and Josu, tears already spilling out of his eyes.

"We're going to talk about this sanely, like a family. Then, and and only then will a decision be reached about this. But this affects us all. So we will talk about it. Like a family. Because family means no one gets left behind. Because the four of us- the five of us- this is it. We are all we have."

My brother smiles an infectious grin through his tears when he hears my next sentiment.

"But it's enough. It's more than enough."


	21. Happy Bodies Fight Harder

(Jace Beleren)

I sit in the uncomfortable, hard backed chair and drum my fingers on the side table. If _we _had been late, we would have had to get a new appointment. This appointment seemed to be taking longer than usual, but I honestly think that it is because it's the only thing that stands between us and our trip to Montreal. Liliana's eyes are closed as she lounges against the mirror. The black wig slips down her forehead just a bit and she pushes it back up angrily.

"You're beautiful."

"Shut up, before I throw this at you. It itches and it's hot."

"Don't wear it, Princess."

"I enjoy not looking like a cancer patient, Jace Beleren."

"I just enjoy your face, Liliana _Beleren," _

She smiles and there is a slight blush on her cheeks. Ugh. We really just have to get through this and go home and finish packing. Packing in and of itself has been an adventure, trying to convince my beautiful, wonderful girlfriend that she doesn't need all twenty five pairs of Christian Louboutin heels has been my current task. It's not been going well. The fact that she wants to have a bag just for shoes is seriously funny to me.

"What are you even smiling about?" Liliana says, question in her voice.

"Nothing, just thinking about you."

She smiles and hops down, coming over to sit on my lap. Nice save, I think to myself. She rests her head on my shoulder and kisses my neck, and runs her hand through my already perpetually messy hair. My arms wrap around her slender waist, slightly squeezing her hips.

"I love you so much," Liliana smiles into my neck. However, she jumps as Doctor Trostani opens the door.

The woman in the white lab coat smiles at the pair of us, nodding her head slightly. Liliana hops onto the table and looks at the short brunette, hope in her eyes. She needs that little bit of hope and I'm praying to God, Buddha, and Tom Cruise's god that she doesn't dash that little bit of hope that our foray last night gave her.

* * *

She curled into me, as I planted kisses on top of her bare scalp. She threw her legs haphazardly over my waist, nibbling at my neck, kissing the sensitive skin there. She'd had a decent day and got most of her school work done, and I went to school and then to work, so I was happy to see her when I finally came in. Losing the shirt that smelled like greasy diner food, I pulled on a pair of basketball shorts and climbed into bed with her. She was playing Candy Crush on her phone, but when I placed myself next to her, she put her phone down and cuddled me.

"How was your day, Jace?"

"Ridiculously long, I really, really missed you today, Heliod still hasn't spoken a word to me, but I know he's received that law suit, Josu told me he did. Work was okay, it wasn't all that busy, so it gave me time to think about what you were doing, and I started missing you." I say, a slight sigh on my lips.

"Today, I took my treatment and actually kept down food. So I think I might be getting a little bit better. I think that the cancer has shrunk. I'm sure it has. I feel better. Quite a bit better, actually."

"I know you're getting better, you've been taking those treatments like a champ. I'm so proud of you, you're the strongest person I know."

"I have too much to live for. I can't let this win, Jace. Because I want a life with you. You make me want things I never even dreamed of." She faintly whispers into the darkness of our room, almost like she's scared someone will take it away from her if she dreams too loudly.

"I know what you mean, I never saw myself settling down, but now it's all I can see."

Her mouth leaves my neck to meet my lips, fire sparking like it always has between us. Rather than chemo, her mouth tasted like cinnamon. She rolls her hips on top of mine and suddenly, she's sitting above me. My hands move up and down her sides underneath the shirt, my brain working in over drive.

_How in the name of the Blind Eternities did I get so lucky? _

I know she's going to get self-conscious because she thinks she's not attractive, because she thinks that her hair loss turns me off. In reality, the fact that she's mine is the ultimate turn on. She lifts her arms above her head as I deftly remove the shirt, letting it fall in a heap to the floor.

"My god, you're so beautiful, I love you so damn much, Liliana Claire.."

She blushes and bites her lip, I'm done. I buck against her, flipping our positions. I'm resting on my arms as she wraps her legs around my waist, and feels my hardness on her thighs. She moans quietly, under her breath.

"Like feeling what you do to me?" my voice is a low growl. "Don't you ever, ever think that I'm not attracted to you. I love you, Liliana. And I love you with every single ounce of my being. But this," I press myself against her leg again. "This is for you. Only you, and it will never be for anyone else ever again. Don't ever doubt the _want, _the _need, _that's coursing through me at any given moment."

"Can we.. I want to.. Ugh."

"What, princess?" I place my lips to her forehead.

"I want to, ugh. Nevermind. It doesn't matter, I'm scared anyways."

"I'm not pushing you if you're scared."

"It's just, I know I'm going to be bad at this. There's no way I won't be bad at this."

"What are you talking about?"

"Ugh!"

"Liliana. What on earth are you talking about?"

"SEX, JACE! GOD!"

A fit of laughter comes over me like a tidal wave. This is probably not helpful to her in the least, but the fact that she just screamed the word sex at me was overwhelmingly funny. I know she's uncomfortable, and I know she's scared, but I can't get over her innocence. Because she looks like a vixen. She looks like the epitome of sex appeal. And this beautiful, crazy hot girl that's next to me is as pure as a dove.

"This is NOT funny, Jace, I swear."

"No, it isn't, it's just that you screamed the word sex at me. I'm not laughing at you, I just think it's adorable how innocent you are."

"Ugh, _ferme su bouche. Merde_."

"I don't speak French, if you're gonna talk dirty to me, at least make it so I can understand."

"Insufferable. Good night."

"Lili, don't be mad. Your innocence is cute."

"I AM NOT INNOCENT!" She kicks, the equivalency of her trademark stamping of her foot.

"Oh, princess.."

"Shut up, Jace. Your commentary is not needed."

"I'm not commentating, Liliana. I love that you're innocent. I wish I could give you my innocence instead of that fucking.." She cuts me off.

"She was your first, but I'm your last and that's all that matters to me. _Bisou?" _

I place my lips to hers, trying to garner some of the intensity back that we had a few moments ago. She braids her hands into my hair and her neck fits perfectly into the cusp of my hand. She grinds her hips into mine, the friction causing heat to pool in my lower regions. She wants more, I know, but I'm not about to take her here. I respect Josu and Kaalia far too much to have sex in their house when they let me live here and don't have to. But I will make her feel something I know that she's never felt before. The fact that she has never, ever had an orgasm, even by her own hand, makes me feel like I'm defiling her. But neither one of us have the willpower to fight this much longer.

"I want you." Liliana's voice sounds desperate. "Please, Jace? I want to be yours…"

"You are mine. But no, not here. We will in Montreal or we will take a weekend to ourselves soon, okay? Just, I can't do that to Josu and Kaalia."

"I understand, but just, separate yourself from me for a few minutes, please, I need to cool down."

"I said we're not having sex. But I want to make you feel good if you'll let me," I counter her offer. She bites her lip, knowing what it does to me.

"Okay, but I want to return the favor if you'll show me."

"Okay, princess. Just relax."

* * *

Doctor Trostani does the usual things, blood pressure, temperature, all within the normal ranges, which is good, because she's been running a fever a lot lately. She sits down on the rolling stool and comes to rest between the pair of us.

"He must be doing you a lot of good, Liliana. Happy bodies fight better. Happy bodies fight harder. The amount of cancer cells have shrunk since I last saw you two weeks ago," My face lights up at this news. She _is _getting better. Liliana smiles too. "but you're not in the clear. I'm going to up your dosage of at home methotrexate and keep you on three treatments a week, for now. I've forwarded my records to the doctor you requested in Montreal, but I'll see you when you get back, yes?"

"Of course, Doctor Trostani. But there is one thing that I wanted to ask you, since you are the only doctor I see and I'm not with my brother today," Liliana starts. What could she be talking about?

Doctor Trostani gives both of us a knowing look and then it dawns on me. Liliana is asking for _birth control. _Well, I'm glad she thought about it, because it hadn't so much as crossed my mind. I smile at Lili and give her an eybrow wiggle, Doctor Trostani laughs. She grabs her prescription pad and hastily scribbles two things down, still smiling.

"You're right, the last thing you two need is a child. Be responsible." She gives us both a stern look and then gestures for Liliana to jump off the table and follow her to check out.

"Oh! Before I forget, Liliana. You are still within the counts to need a transplant. We're looking for a donor, but no dice yet."

"Can we…"

"That's not how the donor list works, Liliana. Regardless of who you and your brother could pay, that would be unethical, and the last thing Johns-Hopkins needs is another scandal. I'm sorry, sweetheart. We will keep looking. Someone will turn up."

"Yes, around March tenth," I say, sure of myself.

"Yes, Josu explained the situation. I certainly hope so, Jace. That would make Liliana's case infinitely easier, if not get rid of the cancer completely. Remember, you two, happy bodies fight harder." She makes the left into the office and Liliana and I proceed out to the Jeep, all smiles.

"I can't wait to tell Josu and Kaalia," Liliana says, giddy.

"I told you that you were getting better, Liliana." This trip is going to be amazing, I can feel it.

As we make our way toward the house, the smiles seem like they are permanently attached to our faces. For the first time in forever, things finally feel like they are coming together, like they are going to be okay. I look to the beautiful girl to my right, her face the most beautiful pink; she's healing, she's fighting. The DNR is not even a possibility right now, and we were foolish for entertaining it the first place. I can't wait to see her home, it's only a few hours away. Right now, I feel untouchable, planting a kiss on my love's forehead.

She is mine. I am hers. Anything else is unthinkable.

And I'm okay with that.


	22. Home Is Wherever You Are

(Liliana Vess)

I haven't been on a plane since I got sick, so I'm hoping that we don't run into any turbulence or anything that will make the plane shake, because I don't want throw up on Jace's shoes again. I have my feet in his lap and he's curled up, asleep. It's precious, his face loses some of its harshness when he sleeps. We're almost back in Montreal, and I honestly can't say I'm looking forward to the trip. Seeing Avy, Gray, and Mirko will be the best, obviously, but I don't want to deal with my parents or Domri. Doctor Trostani said it herself that I don't need to get stressed, but I know I'm going to. My mind goes back to the other night when Jace and I _finally _went a little bit farther than kissing.

* * *

I was so embarrassed- how could this possibly get any worse? I just shouted the word sex at my boyfriend and he got the giggles, my god. I kissed him to shut him up, and it backfired on me, because the wildfire that was burning is now a full blazed inferno.

"I'll make you feel good, if you'll let me."

"I want to return the favor, if you'll show me."

"Just relax, princess."

Jace's lips meet mine and I can feel anticipation and fear making their way into my throat, I know that I want this with him, with nobody else but him, but I'm still afraid that he will get frustrated with me because of my lack of experience. He peels the silk pajamas off of my legs and lets them drop to the floor, and pushes my knees open, an audible groan of longing on his lips.

His thumb makes circles on the soaked fabric, a smile lighting up his face. I don't know what he's thinking of, but the smile almost takes away the embarrassment from earlier. He gives me a look, meeting my eyes, his face serious. Thinking I've done something wrong, I look away.

"Look at me, princess."

I do so and he cups the side of my face and I nuzzle into his hand with a smile. I know he's trying to make me comfortable, but there is distinctly uncomfortable tension pooling below my waist, and I think he senses it.

"Do you want my fingers or my mouth?"

"Jace, I don't know, honestly."

He smiles at me again and pull the underwear softly off of my body. He starts by placing kisses on my thighs and it's torturous.

"Bring me those hips, Liliana."

When his mouth touches me, I bite my lip to keep from moaning. Suddenly, his tongue is everywhere and the fire burns even brighter. I clamp down on his head with my legs on accident and he laughs. I attempt to relax my legs but it seems that everywhere his tongue touches causes me to stiffen back up. _This is what Avacyn was talking about. How could he ever possibly top this? _

Slowly, carefully, I feel a different kind of pressure. _His fingers! _That's how he's topping this- if this is what his finger feels like, I can only imagine what _he _is going to feel like in a few weeks. My legs stiffen and my toes start to curl as a wave of something I've never felt washes over me- he's given me my first orgasm. _ Oh, my god. I never knew it was even possible to feel this much at once. My hand is braided in his hair and my hips involuntarily buck into him. I can't even bring myself to feel embarrassed. _

"Oh, _Jace." _

My weak whimper of his name causes him to moan under his breath. Regardless of what he says, I'm giving this back to him.

"Can I, _how do I," _I stumble over my words. "I want to make _you _feel good," I finish lamely.

"You don't have to, why don't you get some sleep, there will be plenty of time for that later."

"No. I want to."

"Princess."

"_No." _

He nods, seeing how resolute I am about this. He brushes a thumb across my cheekbones and pulls his Duke beanie over my head, because he thinks I'm cold. I let him do so, it's not a big deal. I fumble with the strings on the basketball shorts and he smiles and takes my shaking hands in his.

"Don't be nervous," he says, kissing my palms. "Just put your lips over your teeth. And don't gag yourself. If you do, I'm going to stop you, okay?"

"This should be self explanatory, or I should have looked up techniques online."

"There really isn't much of a technique. Don't bite. Use your tongue. That's about it."

I take a steadying breath and wrap my mouth around him. He looks down at me with all the love in the world in his eyes as he takes my hand and wraps it around him. The strokes are steady and even and I eventually find a rhythm with my hand. I trace circles with my tongue and Jace lets out a low moan, struggling to keep quiet. I put a bit more pressure onto him and try to take him further into my mouth.

"Don't gag yourself," he says for the second time tonight. He places my hand on the side of my face, more worried about me hurting myself than just letting me pleasure him, which is quite annoying.

"Liliana, I.."

I don't intend on pulling off, even though I know he wants me to. I want this, I want him, and if I can't have him inside me right now, he's going to give me this. I hate it for him.

"Princess, I'm not going to…"

I roll my eyes at him and swirl my tongue around him. He grips the edge of the chair to keep from bucking up into my mouth, which I wouldn't have minded. I'm not nauseated, so he's going to give me this. He will. I grip him tighter and I know I've won. He jerks in my mouth and it's only a few seconds before the warm liquid floods its way into my throat. I moan from around him and he closes his eyes, stroking my head. I'm not about to choke, so I look up at him and wink.

Jace stretches and wakes up, bringing his lips to my forehead. We've got about twenty minutes until we touch down in Montreal.

"Don't let go of my hand, I don't want Domri trying anything. And if the paparazzi see me with you and that Kaalia is visibly pregnant, maybe it'll put some of the rumors to rest."

"As if I'd let go of your hand anyways."

"Smart ass."

"Jace?"

"Princess?"

"Can we… tonight?"

"We'll see." Is all he gets out before Josu is up and handing me a mask for my mouth and a dark scarf to wrap around my head and face, along with sunglasses. He does the same to Jace, who looks completely flabbergasted as to why he has to do it.

"You want to keep your face out of the papers for as long as you can, Jace. Trust me."

When we touch ground, Jace wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me in for a kiss. He's going to have adjust to being here and I hope that it doesn't scare him away. I expressed these fears to Josu and he scoffed at me, saying that I knew better. I know that if I wasn't born into this, I wouldn't want it. Hell, I don't want it now. I bundle up against the cold and the cameras, and step out of the plane. I see Avy waving, Gray by her side, and Mirko as well as Domri. A childhood friend of ours, Francesca, is also there. She's been living in Paris for two years and I guess she's back, Avy filling her in on what's happened. All in all, it's a pretty good sight. Before Avy can move, Domri cuts her off, steps in front of me, and kisses me. Right on the lips. _No. Only Jace can kiss me. _I shove him off, as Josu grabs the back of Jace's jacket.

"Not here. Don't make a scene. He just wants the publicity."

Jace's hands are shaking with anger, his fingers envelope mine. I'm scared to meet his eyes because I might start crying- I'm not exactly stable these days. We make it through the airport, paparazzi everywhere, someone obviously leaked that we would be here today, probably Domri or his parents. I'm going to sit down with Osu and see what I can do about him not being allowed back on any of the Vess property, but it's all going to be moot if my parents don't agree, which they won't. As always, their business deals are more important than their children. Avacyn's small hand touches the small of my back, letting me know that she and Gray aren't going to let him get any closer that what he did. Jace and I make it to one of my father's cars and I rip off the scarf, burying my head in his chest.

"_Pourquoi at-il besoin de me toucher?" _

"I don't speak French, lovey. It's okay, I'm right here. He won't touch you again, I don't give a damn where we are."

"That's what I said, why did he have to touch me? I don't want anyone's hands but yours on me!"

He tips my head up and kisses me softly on the lips, his mouth opening slightly. I pull him close and allow his mouth to encase mine, a new heat to these kisses. Something has changed. We pull up to the house, quicker than I expected and I tell Jace to just leave his things, someone will get it. He looks at me quite oddly, but I shake it off. I'm tired of waiting. I want my boyfriend, I want his arms, I want to finally feel him inside of me.

"I'm tired, Osu. I'm going to go to my room and sleep. Jace is coming with me." It's not a question. Josu nods and takes it at face value, thinking that we aren't there yet, which is fine. I'm just tired of waiting, and I need to feel that he loves me physically. I hadn't planned on jumping his bones as soon as we got here, but that little fiasco in the airport changed everything. I need his physical love, his warm weight. Having him in my mouth was amazing, but I need to be as intimate as two people can be with him. He's the only one who's ever earned it, made me want him this way. In that moment, I'm tired of waiting. On everything. On treatments, on becoming better, on my parents to care, on schoolwork, on a donor. . I need some semblance of control over my life. Cancer doesn't have control right now. I'm in control of my body for the first time in months. I need this.

"Is everything okay?" Jace says as we climb the stairs. He senses my odd energy. We turn into my room and it looks as crisp and clean as the day we left for Baltimore. He sits down on my bed and pats the space next to him, but to help him understand, I straddle his lap instead.

"Liliana, you're jet lagged…" he starts.

"No. I want this. I want it now. Because I need to feel some control over my body, some control over my life. I need to feel you move inside of me because I asked you to. Because you love me. I need you to show me for a few minutes that I can be normal. Not a cancer patient, not an heiress. I just want to be your princess. I need you . I need to forget for a few minutes, I need to feel nothing but us for just a little while. This is not me being emotional- this is me telling you that I need it. To feel like I'm nothing but yours."

He crushes me into his chest, kissing the top of my wig, and then removing it and putting it on the side table. He's not going to give me a hard time? I find that hard to believe. When he pulls my shirt off and lets it fall to the floor, I know that this is happening. I'm not scared, I'm not embarrassed. He's not going to hurt me or make me feel inadequate, so I just unbutton his shirt and let his tanktop fall to the floor. My body bears the signs of the fight that it's in, but he can't take his eyes off of me. Just the way he looks at me eases my mind- because he looks at me like I was created just for him. And in a way, I was. He kisses my neck and my collarbones and sucks lightly on my earlobe, I dig my nails into his back before I can even think- but he elicits a moan when I do. I stand up to unbutton my jeans and he does the same, letting them fall to the floor in a heap. Suddenly, I'm bare and standing before him as his eyes drink in my form with a loving glance, but a lustful gleam as well. He gives me a small smile before sitting me on the bed and pushing my knees apart. Anticipation curls in my belly as he kisses my already aching core, allowing his tongue to trace patterns over me and flick lazily over the bundle of nerves that I had no idea was the key to sex. He pushes a finger inside of me and then two- he's trying to stretch me a little bit so it doesn't hurt. It's not unpleasant. I was told that this was supposed to hurt- but he's trying everything so it doesn't.

In this moment, I'm glad Jace isn't coming into this completely blind. That he knows what he's doing, because I obviously have no clue. I bend to try and take him in my mouth, but he stops me before I do so.

"You're right. I just want to be in you. I want you to be mine and no one else's. We can fool around later- there'll be plenty of time for that- years, Liliana. But I need you right now. _Right. Now." _

I heave a sigh and nod, because he's exactly right. He takes his place above me and plants a kiss on my forehead before he pushes himself inside of me. My body is pliable and accommodates him, the look on his face absolutely awe-inspiring.

"You feel so perfect- are you okay?"

"Just full feeling. It's not hurting. My body just wants you to move."

Slowly, surely, he pushes more of him into me. I like feeling myself stretch for him, and so does he. Jace closes his eyes and pushes more of him in me, and then pulls out suddenly. I don't like the empty feeling.

"Why?"

He kisses my forehead and grabs a towel- there's a sticky mess on my sheets and I giggle. "It's been a while," he says.

"That's why I got on birth control- to prevent ruined sheets. And also babies."

"It's just- I've never- but I will. If you want me to."

"I do. How much did you?" I say, slightly embarrassed.

"About half. Not that it mattered, much." His hand creeps back up my thigh as I feel him growing aroused again against my back. He kisses the back of my neck and my shoulders. "Do you want to, or I can use my mouth. It doesn't matter."

"I want you."

He sinks a finger inside of me- probably to see if I'm still ready for him. I wasn't wrong. We're in the spooning position and he drapes my leg over his as he fills me again. A noise between a moan and a grunt leaves my lips as I feel him smiling into me. Suddenly, his lips are on the back of my neck.

"Jace," I say, "please."

He takes as a hint to start moving, slowly and shallowly. I know he's trying to be gentle, but it's not what I want.

"Harder," I say, resolute.

"Liliana, you're going to be sore if we don't take this slowly."

"I don't care. _Please." _

He thrusts deeply into me and I gasp, _yes, _I think to myself. This is perfect. It's only a few seconds until I feel that building feeling again, the pressure growing, a whimper exits my lips. Each thrust is punctuated by a moan of his own. He doesn't speed up but keeps going steadily, and it's maddening.

"Liliana, I know you're close, so I am I…"

Words won't find their way to my lips. His hand drops and he pushes me over the edge with his thumb. I feel my body clench on his- a strangled cry on my lips, a low moan on his, as he releases into me for the first time. I'm glad that I'll be the only girl to ever have a true part of him inside me. He extracts himself from me and I turn over to cuddle him.

"Thank you, love. It was perfect."

"I should have made a bigger deal of it, Lili…"

"No, no. I don't need a big deal. I have your heart and you gave me your body. That's all I need. Let's take a nap and then I'll show you my home. This day is ours, Jace."

"Every day is ours as long as you are mine, Princess."

"I'll never be anything else."


	23. The Dance

_**(Jace Beleren)**_

I wake up after only a few hours sleep. Last night was pure, unadulterated hell. Liliana, Avy, and Lia are going to get pedicures and then headed for a treatment, because she spiked a fever last night and refused to let me help her or do anything, saying that she'd be fine till morning. I'm worried that she's going to go downhill again before March, and even then, what if I'm not a match? I can't lose my princess. She's the only thing that saved me from myself after I lost Kallist, and losing her is my worst fear. The scary thoughts I had after Kallist, of just ending my life, are stirring up in the back of my mind just at the thought of losing her.

This will be the first Christmas without him. I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach after the events of last night, plus thinking about Christmas without Kallist, without Mom. This could be my only Christmas with her if things don't change. That thought makes me naucesous. She's still asleep and I kiss her forehead as I get ready for the fishing trip that Josu and I had planned for when we got up here. I found out last night that Josu has never actually been fishing before- so this is going to be an experience. The purpose of the trip is a bit more than educating him about my way of life.

I walk down to the kitchen and he's standing there in jeans, a polo and dress shoes. I heave a sigh and turn to face him.

"Do you own anything that isn't Versace or Gucci, Osu?"

"What does that mean?"

"It means you are not dressed for the occasion." I look down. Boots, Carhartt pants, camo jacket. Because it's fucking cold. I wasn't aware that we'd be icefishing until last night, so it's going to be an experience for me too. I thought that he'd at least be smart enough to wear boots, he has lived here his whole life. Then again, his Canadian feet might be immune to frost bite by now.

We get in one of thier cars, it bugs me not to be driving. I hate it. I hate feeling out of control of a car. If someone hits this car, I'm completely powerless to do anything, and I hate it, I hate it more than any feeling that I've ever had. I don't know these roads, and it just makes me very uneasy. I mentioned this to Su and he says he doesn't care if I use one of the cars when Liliana and I go on a date later this week.

We shoot the shit about nothing in particular, before heading into the sporting goods store, only to find that they don't have Su's size in boots. I decide then and there that heading out into below zero in a polo isn't the best idea for Josu, and he agrees. We decide that finding something else to do might be a better idea. We end up at Dave and Buster's of all places.

I see the poutine as one of the choices, but I promised Liliana that she would get to be with me when I finally tried it. It looks disgusting, honestly. I settle with some odd parmesan pizza and

sit down in front of Josu. He smiles.

"What's up, Jace? You look like you're going to throw up."

"Just, this morning. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful. And I started thinking about losing her. And then I started thinking about Kallist. And my mom. I can't lose anyone else, Su. I just can't. She's.. she's.. she's the love of my life. I know why my mom never remarried now. Because sometimes, someone won't let go of your heart. Sometimes a person infects your very soul, your very being. And that's what she's done to me. Because she was made for me."

"I know she was. So does Kaalia. And you've helped her through so much. When she was diagnosed, things changed. Her friends started treating her differently. Nothing was promised. I was so scared, Jace. Terrified. Because that's not my sister. She's my daughter. Most men are nervous to be first time fathers. But I know Luka is going to be in great hands, because the four people that will be his family love him more than their own life. But anyways, without you, I don't think her mental state would be as positive as it is. Because more so than me, more so than Lia, you give her a reason to hold on. She knows that Lia and I love her and that my life would be empty without her. But you've given her something that I can't."

I sit back, thinking about what Josu just said. That he accepts the fact that he will one day have to let her go, and that he wants her to be with me. I can hardly believe this, because I never thought it would be this easy, because I thought that the last thing he would want to do is to trust his precious baby sister to someone else.

"What have I given her, Su? You're the one who showed her what real love is. You're the one that showed her how to love."

"To a point, Jace. I showed her how to love a family. I showed her, Kaalia showed her, that family is subjective, it is what you want it to be. That family is exactly what you make it. You know that. Rose showed you that, so did Kallist. But you showed her that beyond anything, love never fails. You loved her through the hardest thing she's ever been through. You've only ever expected for her to love you back. You taught her how to love as much as I did."

"Josu.. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to say it."

"Jace. I know I can never replace Kallist. I know that. Just like no one, not Luka, not any daughters that I have could ever replace Lili. But you are my brother. You are my friend. I look at you as my family, more so than anyone up here. I never thought that one of my best friends would be a seventeen year old from North Carolina. I just hope that you see Lia and I like we do you. Family."

"Josu. You're not my friend. You're my brother. Just like Kallist was. As much as Liliana saved me from myself, you've shown me that family isn't about blood. And I can never thank you enough for that. But more than that, you gave me the chance to love her, my soulmate, when you could just as easily shut it down, because she's sick."

"Do you remember that day on the couch when her hair fell out?"

"Like it was yesterday, Su."

"You either leave or help them unpack. And that stuck with me. And that's what Kaalia and I have tried to do for you."

I never thought that he paid much attention to that. But goddamn. I wish my mom was here. She would have loved Josu and Kaalia. But Liliana, she would have taken to her. There's a knot coming up in my throat just thinking about it. It's not fair that Mom met Emmara but never met Liliana. She'll never know how much she taught me about love.

"Josu... I.. the whole reason for this trip was so... It doesn't matter that she's sick, it doesn't matter that we're young. We're both going to finish school, don't worry about it. But I want her to know that this sickness is part of our life, but it doesn't define it. I want her to know that I want her to be my wife regardless of if she goes into remission or not. I want to... I'm, I'm asking for her hand." I stumble over my words. I know that I'm young. I know that she's sick. I know that.

"Your answer is yes. Life is fleeting. It will do her a lot of good. And nothing is guranteed. But you need to wait until you've graduated high school. You know that. Fucktons of unnecessary paperwork."

"Are you serious? Are you actually going to let me marry her?"

"Why would I not? I feel that we both know that money isn't a thing with either one of our families, and if you want her like I know she wants you, I won't stand in your way. Jace, you love her. You love her more than your own life. You look at her like she hung the moon, like she's all your stars. You're her whole world. If you want to be part of our family, then Lia and I have no problem with that. Know what you're marrying into..."

I cut him off. He's going to say something about the paparazzi and being famous and it doesn't matter. I've found my family, and that's all that matters. Will I have to get used to it? Yes, absolutely. Will it stop me from marrying my girl? Absolutely not.

"It doesn't matter, Josu. I don't care. It's just part of unpacking. You didn't judge me for Tezzeret's actions. I'm not going to not marry the love of my life for something out of her control. It's only been three months, but I've never been surer. Of anything."

"When I asked Sorin for Lia's hand, we'd been dating four months. That is not an object to me. Just love her, Jace. That's all I'm asking of you."

I stand and so does he, and I pull my brother into an embrace. He has given me the best gift that I could have ever asked for.

"Are you proposing here?"

"No, probably not. I have to make my annual trip down to Asheville on my next long weekend after Christmas, and I was going to do it there. As long as the trip is okay with you."

Josu gives me a sideways glance, and raises his eyebrows, putting down the wine he was drinking. He gives me a long look and clears his throat, nodding.

"Wonder what the girls are doing?" Josu says, looking down at his watch. Before I think about what I say, I open my mouth and stick my foot directly into it.

"I'm sure Liliana has some important things to tell Avy and Lia."

Josu looks at me again, and then it dawns on him what I've accidently said. Well,I guess that cat is out of the metaphorical bag. Shit.

"Did you defile my sister?"

* * *

We turn into the hospital later, and I'm ready to see my princess. I know she won't be up to doing much, but I'm praying for no admission. Because I don't want her visit home to be ruined with a hospital stay, but as much as I'd like to think I am, I'm not the boss. Her cancer is, at this point. How her body wants to act is out of our control.

When we enter the room, Liliana is laying on her side, throwing up. If she's this sick, I doubt they are going to let her go home. I hope after shooting myself in the foot, Josu lets me stay. I walk over to her bed, Kaalia rises, just as Liliana croaks my name.

"My love," she says, with a smile even though I can tell the nausea is killing her. I sit next to her, as whatever she's ate or drank this morning makes a reappearance. My poor, sweet love. If anyone didn't deserve this, it's her. As the wave passes, she curls her head into my lap.

"Are we spending the night at the hospital, then, princess?"

"Probably. You know how these things go, Jace.. You know how these doctors are. Doctor T and Jolene know that you, Su, and Lia are more than capable of taking care of me, but these idiots don't. I swear if a paparazzi finds their way onto this hall.."

"I will be in Canadian jail." It's not a question. I know Josu said that I have a lot of learning to do when it comes to this, but no magazine will see her this vulnerable. I wasn't about to let Heliod do it, so what makes anyone think that I will let half of Canada see her like this? Yeah. That's not going to happen.

Two or so hours pass, Gray dropping in, but no one wants to stay very long. I can tell that being this close to her while she is sick makes them uncomfortable, and I don't know exactly how that makes me feel. She has barely went thirty minutes without throwing up, she's started crying. She's so frustrated. My iron-willed, strong, beautiful princess is starting to break. It's getting to her, much like it did when she was in the hospital in October. We can't afford to have another scare. Her blood pressure has to stay within the normal range. Tachycardia is not an option. I'm scared. More afraid than I ever been. Because she's never threw up like this. Not since we've been together.

"I WANT EVERYONE OUT! I'M TIRED OF FEELING LIKE A SPECTACLE!"

I make to get up, and she grabs my hand. "Not you," she whimpers. I sit back down on the bed. Josu makes to get up, knowing that she's not kidding. He kneels down so that he's face to face with Lili.

"_Je sais que vous ne vous sentez pas bien. Vous n'êtes pas un spectacle. Nous sommes une famille. Je vais vous laisser avec votre amour, mais ils ne savent pas à m'appeler. Je t'aime, ma petite lis. Mon précieux soeur._" - I know you don't feel well. You're no one's spectacle, we are a family. I'll leave you with your love, but they know to call me. I love you, my little Lily. My precious sister.-

"_Je t'aime. Je t'aime. Je t'aime_."

Tears are streaming down Liliana's face like I've never seen before. Josu wasn't kidding either, he trusts me. This shows that. He left me alone with her. That speaks volumes. I'm overcome with emotion for a moment, because in that moment, things could not be anymore in stone with a binding document. Family. Liliana contiunes to vomit until her nose is bleeding. I tip her head back into my lap and pinch it, pressing the call button several times. The nurse only speaks French, so Lili will have to articulate what she needs.

"I'm so sorry, amour."

"No. Don't apologize. This is not your fault. This isn't your fault. At all. The nurse is coming."

"Jace, please... I can't do this anymore... I can't."

"No, no. You can." I'm going to distract her the best I can. That's the only thing I can do. I have to find a way to make her smile. "Can I ask you want you want to name your son? Tell me that. Because in five years, that's where we'll be. So what's his name, Liliana?" She smiles, burying her head in my chest.

"Gray..Graysen."

"I love it, and you know that Gray will shit himself. Okay. Can I pick his middle name?"

She nods at me and smiles again.

"What about Tobias?"

Liliana's eyes fill up with tears, which was not what I wanted. That was the exact opposite of what I wanted, actually.

"Thank you, Jace..."

"So tell me about your wedding..."

* * *

She's vomiting blood. She's torn the lining of her esophagus so badly that she's bleeding. I am so utterly helpless.

Later, the nurse comes in with a handful of pills, saying that Lili can't have anymore intravenously right now, but if she can hold it down, she can have more pain and nausea medicine orally, and that the doctor has ordered more methotrexate as an emergency measure. I speak up, saying that she won't be able to keep it down, but I realize I have no authority, one, and two, she doesn't have a fucking clue what I'm saying. She puts them on the table and walks out as Liliana looks at me.

"No."

"Princess, you know you have to take it, as well as your night meds. No isn't a option. You know that."

"No, Jace."

"You can't afford not to, my love. You just can't. You have to. This isn't up to either one of us. Don't make me the bad guy. Just take them. If you throw up, then I'll be right here. But it might be enough to nip it in the bud. Please. For me. Josu told me to make sure you take it. He trusts me to take care of you. This is already hard enough. You have to do this. Please, princess. Please."

The tears start coming. She's bawling into my shirt, so utterly done with being sick. She's no longer strong enough to do this on her own, perhaps even with me or Josu. But giving up isn't an option. She can't not take the pills. This will be the hardest thing I've ever done, of that I am sure.

I tip her head up, kissing away the tears on her face. She's so beautiful, even right now. I kiss her forehead and push the pills into her mouth. She coughs and she retches as I get liquid into her.

"Just swallow. You can. I promise. Please."

She does and then every bit of restraint she had is gone. She's pounding on my chest, sobbing, breaking. She looks up at me, tears rushing down her face, her voice barely more than a crack.

"_I'M **DYING**, JACE! WHY WON'T YOU JUST LET ME?!_"

This isn't a time for lies or half, embellished truths. It's time to let her know why.

"Because I am selfish. I'm selfish and I need you. You can't leave me. That's why. Because you are it for me, Liliana Claire Vess! There is no moving on from you! YOU ARE MY SOULMATE, and goddamn it, I'm so selfish for asking this of you, but please, I can't do this life without you!"

She folds herself into a heap and just bawls. I've never seen anyone cry like this. I can't hold back anymore. Tears are flowing freely from both of us, like a spring from the earth. Both of us cry to the point of hiccups, until we're just lying there, numb. I can't take the silence anymore.

She turns on the TV and for some reason, it's on CMT. There's an old Garth Brooks song playing, and I pick my frail princess up and sit her feet on mine. She looks confused for a moment and then relaxes into my chest as we sway to the music, slowly, drinking the moment. The line resonates with me. It pierces my soul. It's unadulterated, undenaible truth.

_I could have missed the pain, but I'd've had to miss the dance_...


	24. Pour Toujours

_Okay, so no baby eyes on this chapter, please. SDS should be updated before the end of the week. I'm waiting on my co-writer for the next of Sculpted Shadows: The Tear. So hopefully he will finish soon. Enjoy! _

* * *

(Liliana Vess)

Today, I have been deemed well enough to go back "home." Before we head back to Vess Manor, as Jace has so _affectionately_ deemed it, we're going out for lunch. Josu pulled Jace off to the side this morning and he came back huffy, but is trying to stay happy. We only have a few days until Christmas, and then we're headed back to Baltimore to wait on a donor.

It seems that waiting is my entire life now. I feel like I've had these thoughts before, but everything is so fuzzy. He's the only thing that's been keeping me sane during these long hospital stays, the long hours, the long, long treatments. The eternal hours of throwing up. The months of fatigue seem closer to years. Before now, I have never had to wait for anything. If I wanted it, I had it. _Pain changes people_, Jace said. I know that to be true, now more than ever. I'm aware that Jace and I have only been together a few months, but most times, it seems a lot longer. The only thing that gets me through the hours that cancer consumes is the fact that I still have my thoughts of him, of us. Right now, my thoughts are only of the other day and night, making love until we were both exhausted, until nothing else in this world existed.

* * *

My cheeks were red from laughing and from the bitter Canadian winter. Jace and I had traversed the streets of Montreal for hours, laughing, talking with Gray and Avy, pitching snowballs at each other, dodging paparazzi. I think Jace gave one of them the middle finger, to which I could do nothing but laugh.

We traipsed the spiral staircase leading up to my room, still giggly from everything that happened today. Josu just tells us to "behave" before he goes to his room with Kaalia. I don't know how much he knows or even if he really cares, but in this moment, nothing matters but me and my love. He comes in and shuts the door behind him, but before he can move so much as a foot, my lips are on his. He kisses me back with as much passion as I've giving him, catching on. I don't know if he doesn't have the energy to fight back or if he wants me as much as I want him, but I need him. Right now. I pull his shirt over his head, and he scoops me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he unbuttons my cardigan and pulls my wig off.

"Jace..." He lays me on the bed, my legs tangling in my canopy that I pitched a fit for. His weight is perfect.

"Hmm, princess?" He says between kisses on my neck. Nearly driving me crazy, he is.

"Nothing, I just want you. I love you."

"I love you too, Lili. We don't have to do this."

"No, no! I want to!"

He smiles and he unbuttons my jeans and pulls them off. He feels the material of my panties, and he lets out a feral noise.

"How? I have barely touched you."

"Sometimes it's the way you look at me..." I stumble, embarrassed.

"Oh, princess, don't be embarrassed. Just take a look at what you do to me." I glance, the bulge in his jeans very evident.

He pulls my shirt over my head and kisses where the port is. He moves down a few inches and pinks the skin below it. I moan, spurring him on. It's not long before there's a small bruise where his mouth has been. I smile.

"Mine," he says, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"Always," I say simply.

He pushes the panties out of the way and his fingers find their way inside of me. I stiffen in pleasure.

"Oh, _Jace_."

"I need to taste you, princess," he says, primally.

"Please, please."

"Will you cum for me?"

"Mhmm," I squeak. I bite my lip as his mouth touches my center, trying to hold back the moans that my body is making. They are loud against the quiet night and embarrassing as hell.

He puts a constant pressure on the bundle of nerves that so desperately needs him. He makes a moaning noise and it causes a gush onto his fingers, which only urges him on.

"Jace!" I say, garnering his attention. "I want you in me, now. No more mouth tricks!"

He snorts, his eyes giving me a resounding 'no.' Frustrated, I bang on the the sheets, pulling at them. My voice starts to break and tears start to well in my eyes. I have no idea where this reaction is coming from. I decide to ask him again.

"Please, my love. I need you inside me."

He hears my voice breaking and looks up. He pulls away from my center and sees me. He kisses the few tears away and smiles at me. He shrugs off his boxers, revealing his full manhood. I didn't really see much the first time. It looks really big. Not that I've seen many, or any, really. But it's _him, _and that's all that really matters to me.

"Do you want to try a different position?"

"Mhmm."

"Do you want to get on top?"

"NO!" I nearly yell at him. He backs off quickly.

"Okay, Lili, you don't have to. Can you get on your hands and knees for me? Is everything okay?"

I snigger. "Are we really going to fuck in the weird position?"

"Okay, I've never heard you talk dirty, it's fucking hot. Secondly, you'll like it, okay? If you don't, we can switch right back to missionary."

"Just, you're rather… you know, girthed."

"Just tell me if it hurts you. And thanks for the compliment, ha. It's really not."

"It gets me off, quite literally."

"Mmm, Lili..."

"Oh, do you like that?"

"Very much."

"Well if you do, then why don't you bury yourself inside me and give me a reason to really moan?"

"Holy hell, princess."

I smile at him and bury my head in the pillow. I arch my back and the animalistic growl that he gives makes the mess between my legs that much bigger. I don't know what came over me. All I know is that my hunger for him cannot be sated. I want him all the time, every day, for the rest of my life.

When he enters, it's a relief. For both of us. "So damn _tight,_ I swear." I smile and rock back onto him. "_Princess," _he moans.

_"Please give me all of you," _I say, begging.

"It's going to hurt you," he says. "Baby, you're basically still a virgin. You're not stretched at all."

"Then spread me," I say, as the blush colors my cheeks, biting my lip. I look over my shoulder at my boyfriend and I feel him twitch inside me. He's fighting the urge to completely plough me, which I am perfectly fine with.

Jace groans and pushes more of him inside me, but I know he's not all the way in. I attempt to rock my hips onto him and he _whimpers. _And that just drives me insane. I need him. Now. Right now.

"Don't be gentle, I want to feel this in the morning. I want that reminder that you were there," I say, slightly embarrassed.

"Liliana Claire," he says, "What has come over you?"

"You, if you'd take me." Where on earth did _that _come from?

"Okay, princess." And with that I feel every inch of him enter, more than ever has before, and it nearly takes my breath away. He makes a noise that I'm unfamiliar with, it's not exactly a moan, but more a sound of sheer ecstasy.

I swallow the squeak I was going to make. I need this. And any sign of pain, I know he'll stop. He's too gentle to cause me any type of pain, even if it's what I want. His hands slide from my hips to up my torso, gently grabbing at my breasts, which are rising and falling rapidly with his thrusts and my ragged breathing. The pressure there causes me to moan, along with Jace's movements. They are no longer shallow like they were before. They are deliberate and deep.

"Oh, love, please, this is so perfect," I say between breaths. Every thrust is punctuated by a moan from one of us.

His strong hands have found their way back to my hips and are pulling them back to meet every thrust. I start to feel the glorious pressure build, and the moans turn into whimpers, I feel my body start to tighten around him, the whimpers becoming near screams. "Shh, you're going to wake up your brother," he says.

"Walls are soundproof," I say, breathless.

"Holy hell," he says as my body soaks his manhood with the orgasm that he gave me so freely.

"Jace," I say, as he continues, still floating from the gift he's given me.

"Baby?"

"Please finish inside me."

"Princess," he grunts.

"Give me all of you."

"I already have."

* * *

That's why I was okay giving myself to him. We may never get another chance. They ran scans and sent them to Doctor Trostani. She put me on a higher dose of methotrexate than I have ever been on, plus I will be taking treatments every day from here on in. I pull the Duke hoodie that I ordered specifically to see Jace smile over my head and fumble with the button on my jeans. He sees my struggle and comes over, and buttons them for me.

"Aren't you supposed to unbutton them?" I say, annoyed.

"I do whatever is needed in that moment, princess."

"Are you nervous to meet my parents?" I ask, twirling the aglet on the end of the sweatshirt's string in between my fingers.

"Yes and no, I've met the man that raised you. And he actually happens to be my bro, but the last time, they didn't like us being together. What makes you think that's going to change now? And the fact that they weren't here when you were so sick? They live five miles down the road. And after you coded in my arms, Liliana, they come down to Baltimore with the gall to try and push Josu around, and I won't lie, that pissed me off like no other. Other than to bully Osu, they haven't been down. That's pathetic. Mama would have been glued to my side. And as far that goes, yours too. She would have loved you like her own."

"I wish we could trade. Rose didn't deserve to die, and my parents, they might as well be dead for as much as they care about my brother and I. They'd be more use to me anyways, everything transfers to Su and I." I fumble with my necklace, thinking about the woman that would have been my mother-in-law. "I've never seen her, I'd like to..." I trail off, not wanting to upset Jace. It's too close to Christmas for that.

"I have pictures. I brought them with me, that was part of the plan for Christmas. Of Kallist, too. And please don't say that, you might regret it."

"I wish I could have met them, so badly, my love."

"Me too, princess."

"If we ever have a little girl, I want to name her River. River Rose, after your mother."

"I don't think you understand how much it means to me to hear you say that. Not even so much that you want to name her after my mom, which is so beautiful—but the fact that you are looking to our future enough to name a son, and then a daughter."

"I won't give up on this, Jace. It's the best thing that's ever truly happened to me. You. Us. This."

He helps me out of the overpriced, luxury car and wraps his arm around my waist, and I relax into him.

"I got you, princess."

"Pizza and poutine. This makes me happy, so happy."

"You make me happy, so happy."

"You're a silver-tongued man, and I love you so. Smart ass, handsome asshole. I hate you. But I love you. Gah. Just let me be your princess. I'm a little bit high-high-highhhhh."

"You are, but damn it if you aren't the cutest thing I've ever seen."

He pulls out my chair and Josu leans over and kisses my forehead, Lia squeezing my hand. We aren't at the pizza parlor, we are at some bistro. The restaurant is too fancy; I just wanted pizza. It doesn't look like I'm going to get it. I hang my head.

"I'll take you for pizza tonight," Jace whispers in my ear, biting on the lobe. I swat him away, laughing.

He wraps his arm through mine in a show of solidarity. My father sits down in front of my brother and my mother in front of Lia. I pull the bill of the Duke hat down and slouch in my chair, resting my head on Jace's shoulder.

"Sit up, Liliana," my father says, in French. In response, I slouch down farther onto Jace, kissing his neck. I think his smart-assery has seeped into me, probably through his magic penis, I hypothesize. Josu snorts at us, and claps Jace on the shoulder. He also tells my father that he needs to speak English, because it's very disrespectful toward his brother-in-law to not do so.

"I wasn't aware that they had married," he says, pursing his lips. "Just that he had asked you for her hand." He stares daggers into my brother and boyfriend.

Wait.

What?

_He asked for my hand? _

Jace grits his teeth and stares at my father, obviously trying to swallow the anger that is no doubt bubbling beneath the surface of those beautiful brown eyes.

"Thanks, Mister Vess. It's not like I wanted to, you know, _surprise _her or anything. You know, I had made up my mind that I was going to try to like you but you're making it awfully hard." Jace is so angry. His southern accent is more than evident and it's only getting worse. And making me hot beneath the collar.

"You are a child, trying to marry into money." How dare he say that to Jace?! This man loves me more than his own life!

"_He. Loves. Me." _I say, squeezing his hand.

"It's okay, princess. I don't want your damn money. I have my own. My family owns every moonshine manufacturing company in the country." What? I had no idea. This must be what Tezzeret used as ammunition against Jace.

"So you're a bootlegger."

"We were, a long time ago. But now we are strictly legal. So now is it okay that I marry her? Because I have money? I don't own airlines but I can and will take care of her. It's none of your business anyways, as far as I'm concerned, because the man that _raised her _gave me permission. So why don't you sit in your little corner office and forget that we exist? Because that's never bothered you before. Even when you found out your daughter had cancer. You're lucky that your son loves her like his own, because where would she be without him?! You disgust me."

Josu's eyes are huge. He looks like he's wanted to say that for years, and Jace finally did it for him. He looks down and Josu and Kaalia, as if checking to see if they are angry. Josu is smiling, and then Jace smiles back.

"We can't let this happen, Aline." Father looks down at me and then at my mother.

"That's funny, Father," Josu says, not a hint of humor to his voice. "Because it's no longer up to you. Remember, you signed custody of her over to me to get her out of your hair. Your words."

_To get me out of their hair. _Oh, no. I feel the methotrexate-fueled tears welling up my eyes already. Who says that about their child? I sniff.

"Hey, princess. No tears. We're getting married, though I'm sorry the surprise is ruined."

"Liliana," Mother starts. I try my best to ignore her. "He needs to sign a prenuptial agreement."

"Fin—" Jace says, just as I cut him off.

"He won't. It's not up to you."

"Princess, I don't care. I don't want your money, I want your heart. It doesn't bother me!"

"It bothers me! They didn't make Lia sign one and they won't make you sign one either! I'm done with trying to respect their wishes. If they want me _out of their hair, _then I'll be out of their hair. But they don't get to make any decisions for me."

"We'll cut you off, Liliana Claire."

"If you do, then I will take care of her. I'll make sure that you never see her again." Jace says, and Josu is sitting beside him, bracing his shoulder. "She'll be _out of your hair_ for good."

"That's not what we want. I am her father," Father says, but Jace cuts him off.

"I can't tell," Jace says. "But I want her every single day for the rest of my life, whether she's sick or in remission, whether she's bald or not, whether she's in Canada or Baltimore or Timbuktu, I want to be her everything for every single day for the rest of my life." He turns to me and grabs my hands, tipping my chin up,

"You. Us. This. Whatever comes, whatever goes. This is forever. And if they want an agreement saying I'm not going to take their precious maple syrup-scented money, then that's fine. Because forever with you is the only option. That much I am sure of. If you can fight cancer, then I'll sign a prenup. Because all I want is you. Forever." He wraps me in his arms and pushes his lips into mine, not a care in the world for where we are.

"_Pour toujours..." _I whisper against his lips.

_Forever._


	25. Loose Ends

(Jace Beleren)

I knew that this was a bad idea. She knew the nooks and crannies of this house like the back of her hand. However, I couldn't help but indulge her. She was feeling okay and she was being very playful. It was Christmas Eve. Besides, we only had about a week left up here. She wouldn't get to do this again for a long while.

So we were playing hide and seek. I timed a minute on my watch and set off to look for Lili. I checked all the obvious places, like the closet, Josu's room, the kitchen pantry, the actual kitchen cabinet. Over five minutes had passed and I was still no closer fo finding her. Usually, I am pretty good at this game, because I've hunted my whole life. However, her footsteps were light.

Another five minutes passed and I was starting to get very frustrated. This house had to have at least ten rooms, any of which she could be hiding in. Josu had seen me meandering around and when I circled through the living room, after another ten or so minutes, he finally asked me what was up.

"Lili and I are playing hide and seek," I sighed. "I can't find her anywhere."

Josu laughed to himself. He got up from his hockey game and walked into the back part of the house. He pulled a book and the shelf turned. _Liliana, you cheater. _I thought. How was I supposed to figure that out?

"Up the spiral staircase to the left," Josu says, "And no funny business." I assured him that nothing would go on. Besides, after the last time we had sex, we had that horrific hospital stay. She has to get her strength up before we do anything even akin to sex.

I followed Josu's directions and sure as the world, Liliana was lying there, in this secret room, fast asleep. It was obviously some sort of game room, there were pool tables and an air hockey table, a mini basketball goal and a Skee-ball type thing. It was all pretty nifty. I pick her up and take her back downstairs, still fast asleep. She'd wake in the morning, safe in my arms.

_"Sleep well, Princess." _

* * *

_"My handsome, what did I ever do to deserve you?_"

Waking up to her stroking my hair is the best, I thought to myself. Her words had their usual melodic cadence to them, and though sleep was thick in the air, so was the need to be close. I curl up into her, kissing her collarbone and then her cheek.

"Good morning, Princess. Merry Christmas, my love."

"_Joyeux Noel, _love."

She's been fairly good for the past few days, so I allow my hands a little bit of room to roam. She nuzzles into my neck and hooks her leg over mine, pulling me into her. My body responds but I know that she isn't up to this right now.

"No, not right now, Princess, you can't take this right now,"

"Humph, please?"

"Do you not recall the day after the last time we had sex? You told me to let you die," I say, I'm not budging on this. Her body is _not _ready, regardless of what she wants. "So I can't. Even though I want to," I kiss her forehead.

"Is there something I did," but I cut her off.

"Princess, we've been through this-" I kiss her on the neck and speak again. "You are the most beautiful thing to ever happen to me, you are my sun and stars-"

"Chill, Khal Drogo," she laughs.

"Can I show you something before we have to go to the ridiculous Christmas party?"

"Of course."

I walk across the room and reach for the photo album, sitting next to her again. She lies on her tummy and I do the same.

"Will you kiss me?"

"Of course, Princess." Our lips meet- tenderly, not exactly passionate, but so full of love. My heart is so full right now, this girl is my everything. I wish I could share her with my mother and Kallist, and even though it hurt, she makes my life worth it. The family that Mama taught me about, that they told me I would one day have, it's so close, so close that I can taste it. We just have to get over this one hurdle that's standing in our way. I know she's going to be okay. We don't have another option.

I pull it open to the first picture, one of the only pictures I have of my father.

"Oh, my gods, Jace, you look just like him."

"That's because you haven't seen my Mom," I snort.

I flip the page, and there's a picture of her holding me on one of her knees and Kallist on the other. We could have been twins, and that never faded, we were always mistaken for brothers rather than cousins.

"She's so beautiful, I hope I look that good after I have a kid." Lili says, as my heart soars. She's hoping, she's planning. I flip the next page and it's another picture of Kal, Mom and I, though we were all slightly older. She's smiling. I wish she could have heard Kallist's laughter, even once. She would have loved him, though they would have clashed at first. I felt a distinct pang in my chest. She only missed him by a month. Thirty days. I remembered how dark those thirty days were. That was not a place I am eager to revisit._ If I lose her, it'll be worse. Worse than it's ever been. _

That's when I knew. I knew what I had to do in that very moment. She needed to know and he needed a promise. A promise to fight, a promise to keep on keeping on when she couldn't anymore. He had something so much more elaborated planned, but it didn't seem right. He knew this was the right moment. This moment was everything they needed from each other. Quiet. Private. Liliana had lived her whole life on camera, but I wanted to give her something that was just between us. Not Josu, not Lia, no one. She deserved the quiet moment. I knew it was the right time. I walked over to the closet, like I was going to get dressed, and pulled it out. She was still flipping through the album, smiling when she saw a picture she liked. I walked over to Lili and held her hand. I gave her a small smile and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"You know, I've thought about how I've wanted to do this since the first time you fell asleep in my arms. Then, I thought you'd want something big, something elaborate, and I had already started to make plans. But as I got to know you, my sweet princess, I knew that that was wrong. I knew that you'd want something quiet."

"Jace-what are you doing?" Liliana's voice was shaking, and her French accent got thicker. The butterflies in my stomach had changed to an angry hornets nest.

"You hate being a spectacle. And you're not. You're my partner. You're my team mate. You're my everything and I.. I.." _Don't choke, Beleren. _Kallist's voice rang clear as a bell in my head. I swallow hard again. I slide off the edge of her bed and get on one knee on the floor. She gasps, tears coming to her eyes in waves.

"I just, I need to know, Liliana. I need to know if you'll be my wife."

She just nodded and laid her head on my shoulder. Before I get up, I slide the rose gold, three stone ring onto Liliana's fingers. And that's when my tears start coming. She couldn't make me happier if she tried.

"It's beautiful, Jace.. It's perfect. It's exactly what I would have picked."

"The ring has been in the Beleren family since the 1800's, I knew you'd love it. And it's past present and future. Which symbolizes the fact that we will have a long and happy life together. We just have to get through this transplant together. Now, come on. We have a holiday to celebrate."

She leans into me and kisses me softly. I wrap my arms around her and smile into the kiss, pulling her into me. She wraps her legs around my waist and pulls me on top of her, but right now I don't have the willpower to stop her. I feel her start to blush and she smiles into the kiss as well.

"We're not doing this, Liliana."

"But Jace! Why? You legitimately just proposed to me, this is the logical next step."

"No," I say, rolling off of her. "You can't handle it right now."

"I can!"

"Later," I say, wrapping my arms back around her waist. "But right now, I think you have something you need to go tell Su."

She mumbles and grumbles under her breath, still mad at me. She flips the light on and we hear Josu headed up the stairs, it's still pretty early. I don't know what he could possibly want at this. They had done their gift festivities last night, they knew they'd be busy today. The ridiculous party, posing for pictures. I open the door for Su to come in, but he looks like he's been hit by a truck. He's holding a letter in his hand and hands an envelope to me.

"What's up, Su? We sorta have an announcement," I smile at Lili and she blows a kiss my way.

"Just read it, Jace. They sent me the same letter because you're considered my dependent. It just got fowarded from Maryland," Josu says and sits on the edge of Lili's bed. "I'm going to have to call Isperia."

If I remember correctly, Isperia is their lawyer. The smile drops off of Liliana's face like the snow that is falling outside. She grabs my hand and squeezes it, but then addresses her brother.

"Is something wrong?" Liliana looks scared.

"I'll just read it out loud, princess."

I crack open the envelope and pull out the letter, stamped with the state seal. I heave a sigh. There's only one thing that I've been involved in that concerns the state. I clear my throat. This is the last thing I wanted on Christmas Day.

_"Dear Mister Beleren, _

_This concerns the fatal collision that you and Mister Kallist James Rhoka were involved in on August the twenty-fourth, two thosand and thirteen. The State of Maryland has apprehended a suspect and we have reason to believe his guilt. It has come to our attention that you are currently in Montreal, Quebec, Canada until after Christmas, under the care of Mister Josu Tobias and Missus Kaalia Marie Vess, hence the sending of this summons. _

_We ask you politely to attend the arraignment of Mister Tezzeret Samuel Rhoka for the following charges: _

_DUI resulting in death_

_DUI resulting in great bodily injury _

_We have reason to believe that Mr. T. Rhoka had orchestrated the collision, and we will be looking into the matter further after we have your testimony. If it is upheld, he will be arraigned on the the following charges: _

_Murder in the first degree_

_Assault with intent to kill_

_We ask you to come back into the United States at your earliest convenience. The court has also awarded temporary to Mr. and Mrs. Josu Vess, upon your arrival back in Maryland due to the results of this investigation. This will last until your eighteenth birthday. _

_The Address is thus: _

_State Court of Maryland _

_4242 N. Wolfe Street _

_Baltimore, Maryland _

_Sincerely, _

_Daniel J. Smith _

_District Attorney_

"You've got to be shitting me," I say, looking at Josu. "I have no idea what to do about this."

"The plane's ready. You and Liliana are flying back and Kaalia and I will be there tomorrow after we tie up the loose ends on the house here. I know it's not what any of us wanted, but this needs to be taken care of, Jace."

"At least this means she'll be able to get her transplant sooner," I say. Liliana rolls her eyes.

"They've just found Kallist's murderer and you're worried about me." She says, exasperated.

"Well, you are going to be my wife," and she glances down at her hand.

"Yeah," she grins. "I am, aren't I?"


	26. Family First

(Jace Beleren)

I honestly didn't know if I was ready for this. While I had dreamt of the day that they would find out who had done this to Kallist, I never thought that they investigation would come to fruition. I never thought that I would be sitting in a courtroom, getting ready to watch my uncle be indicted for the murder of my brother. Liliana grasped my hand, and I felt that she was the only thing tethering me to this life.

That wasn't new , though. I remembered that first day at the diner and then the day in the office. Her smile had been the most beautiful thing I'd seen in weeks. Now, when I looked at her, and felt her ring on her hand, I knew that no matter what happened with this trial, that everything was going to be okay.

I was free, after all. And the first thing that I was after was the old ball and chain. I wanted Lili. Yesterday, however, had been one the hardest days of my life. I thought back and fought off a shake.

"_Jace, you don't have to do this, you don't. A donor will come along. This hurts, and it hurts a lot. You have to be in court tomorow," Liliana had told me. _

_I didn't care. I knew that I was going to be a match, I could just feel it. I had never connected with someone like Liliana, and we had to be connected on a physical level, too. It just made sense. _

_Josu told me while Lili slept the night before the test that love isn't enough to make you a match. I knew that, and he had tried to drill it into my head for weeks. Since I told him that I planned on doing it. Josu and Kaalia both begged me not to get my hopes up. They had said that it was dangerous to both of us. It was going to crush me if I wasn't a match. I felt like this was the only thing that I could do to help her, and if I couldn't do this , then how was I supposed to take care of her? _

_I looked at both Su and Kaalia and told them that since Kallist, hope was the only thing that I had. Just like I had told Liliana that day, it was the only thing keeping me alive. It was stronger than my fear. And my love for her was stronger than anything. She was going to make it, and this was the way. I could just feel it. _

"_We just don't want her or you devastated if this doesn't happen. You've given her a chance, more than enough reasons to hang on. We're just worried about you. Both of you, you're both sticking your neck out." _

"_I'm not not trying, Josu. I'm just not. I know you both have to understand that. I don't want to see her sick anymore. It's not fair and I'm going to do everything that I can to get her out of this. This included," I said, a sort of finality in my voice. _

_Liliana held my hand as we walked up the front steps of Johns Hopkins . She was scared and I could tell._

"_I don't know if I can take any more disappointment, Jace…" Liliana said, putting her head to my shoulder. _

"_You're not going to have to. All we have to do is get this done and you'll be on your way to getting better." I squeezed her hand. _

"_But you're going to be hurting because of me," she said, genuinely concerned for my well-being. _

"_I've had worse, Lili. One time Kal pushed me off a horse and broke my leg, so I'm sure the lumbar puncture will be just fine. I won't be mad at ya," I joked, more for her reassurance than my own. I didn't care how much this hurt. She was fighting for us, and I wouldn't let her do it alone. _

_The worst part of all of this was the fact that I was starving, they had cut my food and drink off at midnight. Jolene saw us walking in and gave us a smile, handing me a hospital gown. My nerves were starting to get real at that point. I wasn't scared of the pain, I was scared of what Josu had warned me about: a negative result. They had stopped for breakfast and Liliana and I had went to the hospital on our own. Kaalia was getting big and Luka could be here soon, or he could just be fat. I wasn't exactly sure. I tied the gown in the back and walked back out to my princess. I struck a pose and smiled at her, to which she blushed._

"_My fiance, everyone," she sniggered. "Can't wait to marry you," she added. _

"_What an interesting change of pace," Doctor Trostani said as she walked into the hospital room. I hadn't known that she would be the one doing the test. _

"_Jace, this is going to hurt, but I'm going to give you an anesthetic and some pain medicine, okay?" Doctor Trostani said. _

"_Not really necessary," I said. But Liliana cut me off with an angry look and told me that I was going to take them both. I just snorted and told Doctor T that she had heard the boss lady. _

"_Liliana, you can be in here as long as he says it's okay," Doctor Trostani said. " It's not a sterile procedure."_

"_You really don't need to get worked up, Princess, and.." But Lili gave me this look of deep betrayal. _

"_If you're doing this for me, then I'm going to be here with you. So hold my hand." _

_I felt the prick of the anesthetic go into my back , the pain medicine already coursing through the IV they had put in this morning. I didn't want to watch. I knew the needle was huge, I've seen these done on TV, and that was enough for me. The anesthetic didn't do much and I shut my eyes and grimaced. I squeezed Liliana's hand without meaning to and put my forehead to hers. _

"_My superhero, mon couer, Je t'aime," She whispered to me. "I can be strong for you, too." She pecked a kiss on my lips and I tried to focus on that pressure instead of the pain radiating in my lower back. _

"_You never had to do any of this for me. You are so good, and so brave, and you're going to be an amazing father someday. You chose the girl with cancer when girls were throwing themselves at you. You'll never know how much you mean to me , Jace Beleren. You choose me every single day for my heart and you love me so purely. You've shown me what a real man does for his love, you made me believe in something I never knew was possible. So I believe in this, and I believe in us. You'll always be my hardest goodnight and my favorite good morning. Thank you for believing in us, too." _

_I smiled. She was never really talkative, especially about emotion. I put my hand on her cheek. _

"_My princess," I said, as she peppered kisses to my forehead._

* * *

I had never been a fan of self-medicating, but if there ever was a day for it, this was it. Because I wasn't ready to stare down the man that killed my best friend, my brother, and tried to sabotage my life with Liliana after he had already robbed Kallist from me. I didn't know anyone that could be desperate enough to kill his own flesh and blood for a pay out, but Tezzeret was. This wasn't fair. He didn't deserve to draw breath when Kallist was in the ground. Kallist should have been here, enjoying the holidays, and because of this man, his uncle, he wasn't.

I hated him for it. I knew that this trial was going to be a drawn out process, especially if Tezzeret didn't cop a plea deal or something. But this wasn't even part of the trial, this was him being officially charged for what he did.I didn't know what I should do, but for good measure, the Vess family lawyer was there. I didn't like using my own money, much less my fiancee's, but Josu and Kaalia had both insisted, and he didn't fight them too much. It was better to be prepared for a shitstorm, anyways. My back was still sore, but I wasn't going to betray that to Liliana.

She squeezed my hand when Tezzeret walked into the courtroom.I had not seen or contacted him since I moved in with Liliana, and it would have stayed that way if this hadn't happened. I wanted nothing to do with him. Now that my mother and Kallist were gone, I had forged a family unit with Liliana, Josu, and Kaalia. The judge clears her throat.

"Mister Rhoka has waived his right to an attorney and to a trial by a jury of his peers. He has entered a guilty plea in exchange for a deal and will be sentenced today," The judge read from her sheet. "Unless Mister Jace Beleren has taken issue with this," she finished. She looked over to me. I had no idea if I had issue with it or not, honestly. I look to Josu and he stands.

"I'm Jace's legal guardian, and we would like to take a few moments to request legal counsel," Josu said, looking the judge in her eyes.

"Granted," the judge said. "We will readjourn tomorrow at eight AM. This deal was reached late last night. If your attorney or Mister Beleren wish to talk to Mister Rhoka, that can be easily arranged.

"I don't want to talk to him," I say to both Josu and the lawyer. "I don't have anything to say to him"

"Do you want to give him the plea deal, Jace?" Kaalia had given instructions to the lawyer to find out exactly what the deal was, and she was doing so as Josu asked him. Liliana had been silent, just trying to comfort her fiance the best that she could.

"I don't know," I say. "Besides, we have other things to worry about," I said. I was more worried about how a trial would affect Liliana's transplant, because she would likely refuse until she knew that it was over. I look at Josu and I knew he was thinking the same thing.

"It is important that he comes to justice, Jace," Liliana says to me. She wasn't stupid. She knew what I was talking about, even though I was trying to keep that information cloaked.

"You're more important. All of the justice in the world won't bring Kal back, and I won't lose you because of a trial." I say to her.

"But what if he tries to harm you again?! I can't live without you either!"

"My life insurance money would go to Josu for the next month and then it would go to you, so he really doesn't have a reason, unless he's going to try to murder us all, which I doubt he can do if he's sitting in prison," I reason with her. However, as I am doing so, the attorney walks over and clears her throat.

"The plea deal is ten years with no possibility of parole during those years. After those ten years, if good behavior was displayed, he will be eligible for release."

"Ten years? For murder?" Liliana was outraged.

"I can try to speak with the district attorney to see if we can levy a stiffer penalty, but it might end up going to trial," the brown-haired lawyer says.

"I don't want it going to trial. Liliana's health is more important to me. Speak with the DA and see if we can get anything harsher. But if it's going to trial, then just let him take the plea."

"Jace!" She stomps her foot and hisses in anguish. I wasn't budging. Kallist wasn't coming back and I couldn't lose her.

"Princess," I start. I take both of her hands in mine. "Your health is more important to me. Even if we can't get a stiffer penalty, he can no longer stop us from doing what we want. Ten years is plenty of time for us to get married, to move back to Canada, and be out of his reach. As much as I wish I could bring him back, I can't. No amount of putting your health on the back burner is getting me my brother back. And he wouldn't want me to lose you, in fact, he would have called me an idiot if I let you get away. It's not fair, I know, but it's not the end of the world. At least he's serving something for what he did either way. Kallist would have put you first, too. So let me do what I know does his memory justice. And that would be take care of you. Because do you know what Kallist lived his life by? It was only two words. _Family first. _And that's what I'm doing. I will always put you first. Because that would have made Kallist proud, mom proud. You're my priority and I refuse to let you slip out of my grasp. I love you too much for that, okay? So just let me."

My fiance puts her head onto my shoulder to hide the tears that I knew were there. I knew that Kallist would have been proud of my decision, just as I knew that the three people that were standing with me in this courtroom would be my family for the rest of my life. The attorney simply nodded and told the judge what we had said.

My phone starts to buzz in my back pocket as I kiss Liliana softly on the lips. When I look at it, I knew that it would be the call that would change my life forever. It was Doctor T's office. I pick it up, voice shaking. The next moment was literally do or die.

"Jace?" Her sing-song voice was on the other line.

"Ma'am?"

"You're a match."


	27. Just Once

(Jace Beleren)

_Spring_

"_From rest and sleep, thy pictures be, _

_much pleasure then, from thee must flow.."_

* * *

Things had gotten progressively worse. Liliana had stressed herself out, and as I thought about it, I could understand why. I wouldn't want her to put herself under the knife, even if it meant it would save my life. Fortunately for me, it wasn't up to her. The news came at the right time. Josu and Kaalia were still in charge of her medical decisions, and I had autonomy over mine. The transplant was scheduled for next week, and she herself was very weak. But I had promised her this for months. We were still going.

So we packed up. Against Josu and Kaalia's advice, we were going to take the trip to Asheville that I needed to do yearly, to make sure the taxes and the paperwork were in order so my parent's house and my father's land wouldn't go to market. She needed to be in the hospital taking treatments, but I had promised her the trip. I told Su that we would be at Mission every single day, and she would receive her treatments on the exact schedule that she would receive him there, so he reluctantly agreed. So when the day came, I laid Liliana's sleeping body into the front seat of the Jeep and headed out to my home town.

She looked so beautiful when she slept. I know I've said it before but it was like the weight of cancer was gone. She could be safe in her dreams.

That was the one thing that got to me about dating someone that was sick. No matter how much I wanted to keep my princess safe, I couldn't. It wasn't like someone was stalking her and I could make them go away. It wasn't like a bad dream that I could soothe until she fell back asleep. No, it was far, far worse. The monster that was endangering her lived inside her, in her blood. And there was nothing I could do about it. As I drove and she slept, helplessness plagued me. For the first time since I fell in love with her, I finally felt the weight of cancer on our relationship.

The past few weeks had been hell. Absolute, undeniable, hell. Until she could go without a fever for a few days, the surgery would be impossible. Thankfully, she had lasted three and Doctor T had released us to go on the trip. As soon as we got back, the surgery would happen. That was Liliana's one condition for her transplant. She wanted to go see where I was from, first. I know why it was, and I refused to accept it. I felt that it was going to work, she didn't. It was the constant see-saw we'd been on since August. I couldn't convince her that she was going to be okay and she couldn't convince me that she wasn't. It was going to be disastrous if she was right, because if I lost her….

The blackness I felt when I lost Kallist overwhelmed me again. The deep, dark pit of emptiness that had made a home in my heart crept back just at the thought of losing Liliana; she was everything. She didn't replace Kallist, no one ever could, but she and Josu had at least filled and stitched the whole that had been in my heart since I lost my mom, and then was ripped afresh on the night that I lost Kallist. My hands gripped the steering wheel harder, trying not to think of the alternative. She was here, she was going to stay. She had promised me that she would fight, fight with all she had in her to make sure that we had that little blackhaired boy that we often chatted about. _Graysen, _I thought. Kallist would have poked fun, saying that the name was girly. I didn't care. If it was helping her hope, then I wouldn't take it away. She shifted in her seat, a slight smile on her face.

"_Jace," _she mutters in her sleep; I love it when she does this. Sometimes they were seductive, sometimes they sounded happy. This one sounded much like she was calling for me, and I couldn't help but smile.

She rolls over, rubs her eyes, and sits up. We were only about an hour and a half away, she'd slept through the night and most of the morning, due to her meds. She looked as if she was about to cry.

"What's wrong, princess?" I ask, furrowing my brow. "We're almost there."

"You aren't going to touch me this weekend, are you?"

It had been weighing on my mind a lot, too. It was too much of a risk and we both knew it. But we both wanted it, too. I keep telling myself that there is plenty of time for it, that it's not worth the risk of her getting a fever and having to go to the hospital like she did in Montreal, risking her transplant, but if something does go awry- I stopped the thought where it started. It wasn't. Nothing was going to happen.

"Liliana-"

"You have not so much as kissed my neck in nearly a _month, _Jace Beleren! Why are you doing this to me? You promised me you wouldn't treat me this way and yet you are! _Por quoi, Jace? Qu'est ce qu j'ai fait? _What did I do?"

"Princess! I didn't say no! you didn't even let me finish!" _She didn't have to know that I was going to say probably not, _I think to myself.

"Don't play me for a fool, Jace! You use the excuse of Josu and Kaalia's house, which is fine, but what's your excuse now? You bring me on a trip to see where you're from just for fun? NO! We both know what this trip was supposed to be! And now you won't even let it!"

She turns away from me, angry. I knew that she wouldn't listen to a word that came out of my mouth right now, so I just let her seethe in silence, all the while wiping the stinging tears from my eyes.

Of course I wanted her. But I wanted her _alive _more.

"Do you know what I think?" Liliana says, anger permeating every word, malice covering her beautiful features.

"Don't say it, Lili, because you know it isn't true, you and I both know that what you are about to say isn't true." I say, my voice harsh.

"I lost my hair, I lost my curves-"

"NO! You think I don't want to fuck you? Because you're dead wrong. I want to fuck you until you're hoarse and so sore that you feel me every single time you move. But I_ need _you to be alive more than I want to fuck you!" I yell. I had never yelled at her. Never. What the hell was even wrong with me?

I think that I must have startled her, because those tears, so easily fueled by the methotrexate and the exorbitant amount of medicine in her system, poured from her eyes like rain did on a summer afternoon. I squeeze her hand in mine, whether she wanted it or not, and she squeezes back.

"Bullshit- you loving me isn't going to hurt me. I was already flaring and we didn't know it then. I just came out of one now so I will be fine._ Please, Jace. Please._" Liliana begs.

I just keep my eyes on the road, taking the exit off that said I-40/Asheville. Liliana shut hers, wanting to disappear.

* * *

"Princess, we're here, this is the place that I wanted you to try."

"I'm not hungry, what's the point, I'm just going throw it up anyways," she grumbles. "At least that's what you think." she says, under her breath, thinking I didn't hear.

"And you told me you'd stop putting words in my mouth, which is exactly what you are doing! I fucking heard you!"

LIliana stomps off into the restaurant and I take a second to calm my nerves. I didn't want to start off the trip like this. I pulled the Costas over my eyes and my ballcap down over my ears, poised with an apology. She had every right to want to be with her boyfriend. It hurt me that I couldn't love her the way she felt she needed to be loved for the sake of her physical well-being. And, it had been so long that it would hurt her just like the first time again. I heaved a heavy sigh and clenched my fists. It had been forever, but I was ready for the big burger with the cheesy center, even if I was fighting with Liliana.

The restaurant hadn't changed, much, The old bar signs were still there, peanut shells littered the floor. I was sure my little city girl, more-money-than-she had sense little princess was freaking out. I knew for a fact that Josu would have never let her show her face in this honky-tonk bar, but I saw her sitting at a booth, a blonde waitress already taking her order. She at least looked happy to be where she was, and as I sat down, the slight smile that I had melted off my visage, to an expression of nothing but malice.

"So you want a Coke, sweetie?" Emmara asks. She hadn't noticed me. Not yet. The fake sweetness in her voice stirred nothing but a sludge of bad memories and anger. She turns to me and her face, I'm sure, matches mine.

"Oh. I know how _you _take your tea," she says, the falsetto twang gone. Her voice was smug.

"Oh, do you know my fiancé?" Liliana asks brightly. I didn't know if she was over her bad mood or just being possessive, but she was about to be shocked.

"Fiancé?" she says, smugness and anger in her voice. "Well, sweetheart, let me give you a piece of advice," Emmara finishes.

"Emmara- shut the fu-" I started, all of the pent of anger I have at cancer is about to be gone, let loose on my ex.

"Emmara? Your-" Liliana begins, but she was cut off.

"Yes he promised me I'd be his wife too, one day," Emmara spits at Liliana.

"Don't talk to her like she's stupid," I growl, my voice deadly.

"But here's my advice, sweetie. Jace, he leaves when things get the slightest bit difficult. And we both know that he bought that pretty little Lilly Pulitzer dress you are wearing and those pearls, but those things do not a southern lady make. Rose's money isn't yours"

Liliana looks like she was about to punch Emmara, and I don't think I would stop her, honestly.

"He leaves when things get hard, yes?" Liliana says. "No, I think he left because you were unfaithful, but you tell me that he leaves when things are difficult?"

"Are you deaf, honey? Or is your English just that bad? Bless your heart."

"I am _francophone,_" Liliana seethes.

"Bless you, sweetheart."

Liliana doesn't say a word, she just moves her hand to her hairline- and I went to smack her hand away, because I knew what she was doing, and it was none of Emmara's business. She moves and lays her wig on the side of the table, revealing her bald head.

"My fiancé has been there for every single step of this journey, he's watched the victories and I died in his arms. He breathes life into me all day, every single day. He's my partner and my teammate as we, together, fight this ugly, evil monster that lives inside me." Liliana stands up, her face a mere inch away from Emmara's. "And he's giving me his bone marrow so that I can be okay. So don't you dare, ever, ever, say that my fiance, my Jace, _mon couer, _leaves when things get hard. Because he chose to give me this ring and gave me this promise. Because Jace and I, we are still waiting for the day that it becomes easy. _Sweetie._" She breathes in a sharp breath and sits down. "And as for Jace's money, or his mother's I don't need it. Trust me. I have my own."

"I'll bet you do."

"I don't answer to you," Liliana spits. Emmara turns on her heels and we didn't see her again.

* * *

We pull up to the house that I had arranged to have cleaned and sanitized before our visit. I didn't want anything in the house to threaten her health. She was smiling now, I couldn't really understand why, but she answered it herself.

"It's so beautiful here, the house, the trees…" she says, "I love it. Let's get married here," She finishes.

I'm sure my face broke into a smile, because that was going to be my one request.

"Wait till you see the back part, Princess, but lets get changed, I don't think you want to ruin your dress."

We walk into the house, and somehow, it still smells like Mama's detergent and the old smell of books that she kept around. It looks like it did the day that Kallist and I left for Baltimore, untouched. Liliana grabs hold of my hand and we walk through the house, though I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Up until we moved, Kal and I had shared a room, when he wasn't with Tezzeret. He spent most of the school year there and all of the summers here. Of course he was my best friend, because Mama had home schooled me up until she took the job with the state department. Liliana didn't even say much about the bunk beds, though I knew she wouldn't. She too had an unbreakable bond with her only sibling, something that could only be shattered by the sharp knife of death.

_Death be not proud… _ echoes in my mind. Death had taken Kallist from me and almost had Lili in his powerful grasp. But I couldn't let it, I wouldn't let it.

"Let me, let me," I say to her as she struggles with the back of her dress. Risky behavior, maybe. But I do plant a small kiss on the back of her neck and she smiles. "I love you," I say to her. "I love you so very much."

"I love you, too." she breathes. "Let's go see the rest of the place."

I breathe a sigh of relief; she wasn't going to push me for sex right now. She just grabs my hand and leans on my shoulder. "Je t'aime, Jace. I realized that…"

"What?"

I help her back up into the Jeep as we drive out to the back part, with the pond. She looked pensive.

"I can't read minds, Princess, but you have something you need to say."

"It's just, that most couples say that he saved me, she saved me, and I always thought that it was contrite nonsense, until now, because I thought that they were just being dramatic. Not only did you save my heart, Jace, you're saving my life. Quite literally-"

I go to say that she's the one who saved me, that I would be dead without her, but she holds up her hand.

"Let me finish. I know without my brother and I you wouldn't be here, that you would have taken your own life. You didn't have to say it to me. I- I know. That's why I'm just saying that we saved each other. But Jace, I haven't said thank you for the fact that you are giving me part of you to save my life, your blood is going to save mine.. so, thank you. For saving my life. For always being my second chance."

"Princess, you, you're the one who gave me-" But her lips meet mine and I'm not stopping her kiss. She wraps her legs around my torso and my lips were on her neck."

"Just once. Just in case, _please." _

"_Just once. Because that's all it's going to take, just once, one try, and you're going to be okay." _

_Just once. _


	28. Epilogue: I Lived

(Jace Beleren)

Kaalia had my hand in a death grip and Su was kissing Liliana on the head. The time had finally come, the transplant day was here. The day I had waited for and schemed for since I knew it was an option had finally made its arrival. Her bone marrow would be infused with mine, and with any luck, it would make her healthy. Last night had been the hardest of my life, but today was worth it. Apart from the ring on her finger that symbolized as such, this was as much a vow as the ones that we would make six months from now. We were forever intertwined, part of me resided inside of her, permanently, helping her regenerate the healthy cells that she needed, so that her body would stop killing itself. Because if she died, I would too.

* * *

_Doctor T had given us the surgical soap and they had decided, with Osu's permission, of course, to do this together. Liliana clung to me. Her whole body shook, and you could tell that she was scared. Her counts lately had been through the roof, she needed this. She was barely going three days without popping a fever. She was weak. The time had come that they all feared, but I knew that this transplant was going to work, that it was going to save her, and save them, in turn. _

_"Jace, are you scared?" Liliana trembled. _

_"The only thing I'm scared of is it not being enough. Me not being enough, princess. That's all I've ever wanted to be, Liliana." _

_"Jace Rylan Beleren, you were always enough. You were always immeasurably more than would I could have ever asked for. My life changed when I walked into the diner, into the office, and at that small table at Bella Vita. I came down here thinking that I would die here, but instead, Jace, this is the only place I've ever really _LIVED. _You think you're not enough? You're the only thing that kept me here. You never gave up on me. You didn't treat me like I was made of glass. You let me live. You let me experience. You made love to me, you let me run, you helped me fly, you never let me feel like I was lesser because of this. You let me live. You let me live because you love me. Because I did it for you and because of you. Because of you, I lived. And you let me own this disease and you made me feel like maybe, even though I had cancer, it didn't have it. I lived, Jace. I lived because of you." _

_"And that will never, ever stop. You're not done. We're not done." _

_The harsh smelling violet soap wouldn't later, but I rubbed at my fiancee's back anyways. She tried to relax into me, but we both knew she was scared of what could possibly happen to them tomorrow, that this could be the last time that he really held her. They both took the prescribed cocktail of sleep and anti-anxiety medicines they had been prescribed. It felt like they barely had shut their eyes when they were being shaken awake by Lia._

* * *

Su walked over to me as they sedated my princess, and her grip loosened on my hand. In that moment, I got scared for the first time. The last thing that I felt before I was pumped full of Fentanyl and anesthetic was Josu pressing his lips to my forehead too, with a quick breath of the words "Thank you."

When I wake, Su and Lia are anxiously waiting my bedside. My back hurts, my head hurts, but I'm coherent enough to shake it off.

"Did it? Is she…" I breathe, looking around for her. She was in the bed beside me, sleeping soundly.

"Her counts, Jace, they are amazing. She's going to be okay, it's looking like she's going to be cancer free when they wake her. She's still going to be weak. It worked, Jace. It worked. She lived.

Three days had passed when they took Lili off the sedatives. The puncture they did showed almost no cancerous lymphocytes. They were discharging me, so clad in the same hoodie that I had worn that day in the office, I held Liliana's hand as her eyes fluttered open. She smiled weakly at me as she breathed my name.

"Jace…"

"I heard it worked, princess…"

* * *

_The End_

* * *

**A/N: **Jace and Liliana's story will be continued in a sequel that is named _The Dance._ Thank you for sticking with their story this far, and your readership means the world to me. This is the first MtG story I did on my own, and each and every single one of you has a special place in my heart. Thank you so much, and remember, don't be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life. -Haley


End file.
